Stressful pregnancy means unhappy baby??

[LoveYouHoneybear]

My MIL is scaring me... I'm nearly 14 weeks and my pregnancy has been stressful- unexpected, moved to new city, started a Masters, DH's job has been challenging, I live far away from family etc etc. MIL is saying my baby is going to be unhappy and colicky because it's been picking up on my energy! Is this true? It's honestly making me MORE stressed. Gonna try meditation but I'm worried the worst has been done.

No, what rubbish. I had a tough pregnancy, stressful job, unsupportive DH, very emotional, struggled to cope etc. My DD is very happy, full of personality, no issues at all, I did bottle fed which helped a lot I think.

Of course it’s not true! Just ignore your MIL!

Utter rubbish.

Total rubbish. I think there have been some very small isolated studies that have shown a vague link between period of acute trauma (I mean on the scale of wars, death of DH etc) during pregnancy and having babies that are more unsettled but general stress levels across the 9 months not at all. I was very unwell in my last pregnancy and my DS is the most chilled out and happy character in the world. Enjoy your pregnancy 🙂

A load of tosh.

It's nonsense, I had the most appallingly stressful pregnancy but DS is and always has been very chilled out.

I'm assuming she is bending over backwards to help you so you arent as stressed then?

What a load of crap

Complete bullshit. I had stress-free pregnancies and extremely unhappy babies. Colic / reflux the works.

In my first pregnancy my child’s father decided he wanted nothing more to do with me (or the baby), this led to endless arguments through the pregnancy. I had to move cities, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and there were two occasions he was on life support in that time. My pregnancy was tarnished from the beginning and I was convinced there was no way I’d have a healthy baby never mind a happy one.

Even when he was born the stress continued BUT he was the happiest child ever. Once he learnt to smile he never stopped, he wasn’t colicky, he was so content.

My second pregnancy wasn’t as stressful but was still stressful (partner losing two jobs amongst other things) again, my baby is so happy! I actually swear by a stressful pregnancy now...

After 11 MC and 1 stillbirth you can imagine how stressed I was. DS was the most chilled and happy baby ever. At 19 years now, he still is.

No
But think abouit ways to ignore your MIl because she aint going away.
Set your boundaries
learn to ignore.
Manage your stress. Find what works

Absolute bollocks. My Dad was dying and in hospital for most of it. At one point I spent 3 days standing beside his trolley in an A&E corridor. Didn't even get a chair.

The baby was great. Very happy.

Then with #2 pregnancy I was grieving the fresh passing away of my Mum. I had antenatal depression and later, postnatal depression. Again, very happy baby.

Its an old wives tale. Stress may certainly affect YOU quite badly, but I believe the babies are largely oblivious. Even people who have hyperemesis the whole way through have babies who were oblivious.

Load of bollocks!

And not quite sure how your MIL thinks you will be less stressed by her coming out with these little gems!

If the mother had some very acute trauma then maybe it will impact upon the child but not in the circumstances you have mentioned.
and for you.

I found out i was pregnant young so the whole pregnancy I was stressed, I had no idea what i was doing!!
My daughter was very strong and healthy right from the get go. She slept like a log and she fed really well. She is now a very strong willed 4 year old

As others have said, complete tosh.

While I was pregnant, I was grieving a miscarriage, planning a wedding party (we got married away, DS was a honeymoon baby), renovating a house, and working a stressful job where I was out 12 hours a day, with an horrendous 3 hour-ish commute, I also suffered with SPD, morning sickness until nearly 6 months, and carpal tunnel. DS was an incredibly easy baby, slept well, no colic, and now at 5 if he was any more laid back he'd be horizontal!

Have a chat with your DP - if she is offering to help, great. Otherwise, she needs to chime out!

This is nonsense, but also such a nasty thing for her to say. Apart from anything else, what did she imagine it would do apart from give you something else to worry about?

No - incredibly stressful pregnancy- IVF after loss, bled throughout, placenta praevia but DS was a very easy, chilled baby. He’s still a very easy child.

Complete BS. The worst advice is ‘don’t be stressed! If you get stressed your baby will be affected!’ Because that just makes you more stressed!

I'd ask her when she completed her obstetrics training

You have a MIL problem more than anything. How on earth does she think saying that will help you?

Congratulations on your pregnancy BTW.
Trying to manage your stress levels and taking care of yourself is important but so is having a good support network around you. Think about whether your MIL is a source of positive energy herself, she doesn’t sound like it to me.

Thank you all so much for this. Definitely need to distance myself from toxic MIL- she is no help at all and obviously full of shit. xx