Worried I have already damaged my child

[AbsolutePlonker]

I'm 5 or 6 weeks pregnant, age 30. It was unplanned, but we do want a child, we are in a stable loving relationship, own our own home, etc. However, I can't stop freaking out because I didn't take folic acid and I hear that can cause serious birth defects. I also smoked, drank and did coke (this is not something I do frequently - we had a crazy 6-person party for a birthday) before I found out. Have I absolutely ruined this fetus' chance of a healthy life? I am so upset and I am seriously considering termination because I am so worried. I can't talk to the Midwife, my appointment isn't for another 3 weeks but I can call the clinic tomorrow. I have been having panic attacks and bursting into tears. Since finding out I'm pregnant, I have found thoughts of baby bumps, etc totally terrifying. I have been very uncomfortable with cramps, nausea and boob pain.

First day of my last period was 4th September, found out on Sunday I was pregnant. Please help!

I'm sure your baby is absolutely fine. 😊

Nothing passes through to the baby for a good few weeks yet so I wouldn't worry about that. You don't have a placenta or umbilical cord yet. As long as you start taking folic acid now you'll be fine, people sometimes have months and months of pregnancy without knowing they're even pregnant, take no vitamins and drink regularly and the baby is absolutely fine so I don't think you have anything to worry about.

You will be fine. In days gone by people did all the things you talk about and had perfectly normal babies. You stopped in time! Don't worry about what is least likely to happen, you have many months to build up the health of you and your baby. Lots of people don't take folic acid before conceiving, nobody did in my day! However you can take it now.

Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy.

Please don't panic. I'm a midwife, a one off party won't impact your pregnancy. The placenta doesn't take over until about 12 weeks! The main thing is you stop doing those things now and please don't panic about the folic acid, most women don't start that until they realise they're pregnant. It helps reduce spina bifida but not taking it doesn't mean there'll be a lot of problems. Some foods are fortified with it anyway so you may have had some in your diet. Congratulations, I hope you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy!

Folic acid can help prevent some defects, including spina bifida.
Not taking folic acid doesn't cause the defect.

Start taking it now.

I had a similar panic when I fell pregnant with DS1. Had got massively drunk on white wine and hadn’t been taking folic acid then found out I was already 7 weeks pregnant. I also felt really anxious until my first scan but he was absolutely perfect. Try not to worry and just be healthy from now on.

Your baby doesn't even have an umbilical cord yet, op. Your baby is fine.

With my first daughter she was a surprise so I had been drinking alcohol, too much caffeine and wasn't taking folic acid and she turned out fine it happens to loads of us don't worry xx

You won’t have done any harm to the baby - it’s too small for anything to cross over from your blood yet. Let that worry go!

You’ll have had some dietary folic acid so your baby will have had the benefit of that. Just start taking it now and remember that birth defects are rare, even when women take no folic acid.

It’s fine, baby is living off the yolk sac at the moment so won’t be absorbing anything from you. Just start Folic Acid and Vit D now and cut the smoking, drinking etc and stop panicking.

Thank you everyone. I'm new here so not sure how to reply to people individually, but i really appreciate your responses.

Plenty of women don't know they're pregnant for ages and carry on as normal and their babies turn out just fine.

Start taking folic acid now (you haven't harmed your baby by not taking it)

Hi OP. Please don't worry. I had my son 3 years ago, the pregnancy was very much planned, I did everything by the book (took folic acid 3 months before trying, quit alcohol, processed foods, caffeine during TTC/the pregnancy - the whole works!) I found out during a routine scan that he was disabled... (he's 3 years old now and the love of my life, I wouldn't change his disability for the world)
I am now pregnant with baby number 2, he was completely unplanned (lockdown baby!) I didn't take any of the recommenced vitamins, drank faaaar to much and smoked like a chimney. Guess what? ... baby is completely and utterly healthy! I hope this helps and I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy 😊

I have 3 boys already and now a little girl on the way. So many women have those nights then think oh shouldn't have done that when they find out they are pregnant BUT they didn't know and I'm defo one of those women. Also (probably bad) but I've never taken folic acid in any pregnancy and all my boys have been absolutely fine. Not saying you shouldn't take them but just to try and not panic 😊