How do you mums to be feel about people commenting on your pregnancy ?

[kellykelly76]

Hi ladies I'm feeling a bit emotional my mum and all my other older people in my family always feel the need to comment about things I'm doing or what my child is suppose to be doing in the womb for e.g I've been very lazy during my pregnancy because I don't want to stress myself out especially Because I've experienced a MC couple months before I conceived my baby boy i am 27weeks right now and all my mum and everyone is saying is I'm being lazy my child is going to be lazy etc 🙄 they also keep saying things like he's suppose to be moving all the time when they don't even touch my stomach to feel him move how are they suppose to see him move with all my clothes on I know my baby moves a lot Bec I'm the one who feels him.

I just have to laugh inside my head because this is just ridiculous my child is fine and every baby has different movement patterns my midwife confirmed that his movements are perfectly normal.. the older people in my family are just annoying me and make me cry Bec all the things they say

I feel shit, but that is only because I gave birth to him 4 years ago. I really need to work harder at shifting that baby weight

Well it's like that saying about pregnant people suddenly becoming public property.

You need to either learn to ignore it or tell them to back off because I can assure you it's only going to get worse. The moment that baby arrives you will have comments on everything from sleep to changing nappies to why the baby is crying.

Your the mum, you set your boundaries or learn to smile and nod along.

I probably do a bit of both. Pick my battles so to speak.

Ah, you’re experiencing people being fucking nosy, judgemental and thinking that because they raised a baby 40 years ago it makes them experts

Every time they say somethjng inoffensive just smile, nod and let it wash over you.

Every time they say something offensive like “the baby will be lazy”, say to them “my baby will be lazy? Do you realise how offensive that is?” Or that kind of thing

Last option: lose your shit at them, blame the hormones and they’re unlikely to do that again

Have you thought about telling them to shut their mouths/ fuck off?

Don't cry- stand up for yourself.

@K00kiEe I do stick up for myself and say my baby will not be lazy and what not but behind close doors it affects me so I guess I just got to tell them stop it as I do not like it

32 weeks pregnant here and I've gladly told my mother to fuck off when she tries to throw her opinion on me!

My baby didn't start proper moving until 3/4 weeks ago, I wasn't fussed and now he won't stop... which by the way is a pain in the arse sometimes!!

Don't sweat it, tell them to either get a midwife degree or fuck off 😊

That sounds frustrating for you. Have you explained to them how it makes you feel?

It depends slightly on how they’re saying it. Are they mentioning the movements out of care for you both? Is the laziness comment just an (unwelcome) observation or is your laziness affecting them?

@icantstandhorridhenry that's what I'm thinking they should get a midwife degree 😂 I just sent my mum a long message explaining to her I love her but her sometimes her comments are not needed as it does make me upset 😓

@CatsAndEyeliner my Mum is hardly ever around me as she works at lot so she wouldn't even know when he's moving and I really don't know what's bothering them they are just annoying my midwife confirmed my baby is moving just right

@kellykelly76

Sometimes you can't reason with a woman who thinks she's in the right or can't even see what she's doing wrong 😉

Good luck to you, but if you don't nip it in the bud now I wish you all the luck in the world when baby is here!

You absolutely must learn to assert yourself and your boundaries now. It only gets worse once the baby’s here. Just don’t entertain those conversations. ‘Do you realise how rude you’re being?’

Given it's family, I would respond with "that's not very nice". It's not confrontational but at the same time it lets them know that it's upset you and they might think twice to say it again.

I'm finding it really hard to stay active in lockdown. Don't beat yourself up about it, if you're eating healthy (or supplementing with vitamins) and getting out for a walk or something a couple of times a week it's fine. Also, mental health is just as important as physical health for the baby. My mum was always super active and went swimming most days right up to the birth of my brother but he is the laziest person ever so unless I see an actual scientific study of correlation, I'm ignoring everything! :)

A baby still in the uterus being called lazy. That’s bloody ridiculous.
I swear people can’t hear what comes out of their mouths.
Enjoy all the rest, you aren’t lazy.. you’re growing a human.
I hope the comments stop, because they just sound so unhelpful. Take care, I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

Thank you all for your sweet replies I will stop paying attention to the negative comments and put people in their places when it's needed 🥰🥰🥰

@kellykelly76 I know you've found a nice little resolve here at the end but I thought I'd share a bit of your annoyance with you! I'm 16weeks and hear nothing but comments from my DP and DM. I went for a nap on Wednesday whilst DP was at work he came in and asked if I was even dressed and if I'd even been out of bed that day! DM constantly says I'm lazy and my child will be too it gets you down eventually! So I understand the frustration!

@santaself123 I'm so sorry your going through this aswell it's very frustrating and upsetting... they need to understand we are growing a precious human and we need to rest and take it easy sometimes because when baby gets here we are going to be sleep deprived 😓

@kellykelly76 my thoughts exactly as you can see being awake during the night isn't fun and it exhausts me I've been awake for the last 3 hours since DP got up for work!
So a nap during the day, I feel is acceptable!

When I went for my 12 week scan baby was in a funny position so it made it more difficult to measure the neck! After the scan I made a joke to DM about baby being stubborn like it's dad and she said "or lazy like it's mum"

there are constant digs if I haven't refluffed the couch cushions or left some pots on the drainer! It's not fun! I know DP works 5 days but it's not like I'm not working and doing uni at the same time! It's very frustrating for me!