Pregnancy after infertility - normal?

[Labradormama1]

Hi everyone, mainly post over in infertility, but am nearly 36 weeks pregnant after 4 years trying, 3x miscarriages, extensive endo surgeries, 1 round of IVF resulting in TFMR at 15 weeks just last November, and now this natural miracle which I still find hard to believe, despite only having 3 weeks or so to go.
I'm still finding it hard not to feel bitter towards those who have had an 'easy' journey e.g. friends and more recently the NCT group I have done the antenatal online course with- which is ridiculous because I'm finally in the position I wanted to be in for so long (and know there are many others not so lucky, and maybe I'm lucky in other ways in which they aren't, I'm just not aware of individual circumstances). For example I find myself getting irrationally angry that they'll all manage to have 2nd/3rd children and I'll just get one - I really do know how stupid and ungrateful/ selfish that sounds, but these thoughts keep intruding my brain...
So why am I feeling like this?! Anyone been in the same position and can relate? Maybe I'm just an incredibly ungrateful person? It's really upsetting me and making me doubt myself. Kind words please - and maybe a (gentle) kick up the backside/ reality check. Would be especially nice to hear from anyone in or who has been in a similar position. Thank you!

Your thoughts and feelings are justified because you cannot help them and it's also your way of processing and dealing with all you've been through, which has clearly been a very difficult few years. As other PP have said, support is lacking for infertility etc and is often a taboo subject or misunderstood.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Comparison is the thief of joy. Just cause your first was hard to conceive doesn’t mean your second will be. Just because their first was easy to conceive doesn’t mean they won’t suffer from secondary infertility. People have been through tragic life events, lost parents, partners or friends early. It’s not a competition about who has it harder and bitterness will get you nowhere and steal from you potential friends and joyous times.
Congrats on the pregnancy - you’re almost there!

I don't feel bitter towards those that have gotten pregnant easily - I've had 5 miscarriages 2 near fatal ruptured ectopics, lost both tubes and infertile by 36 and 5 rounds of IVF. But I do think they live in this lovely little oblivious bubble of baby making bliss that it's takes a month or two and a BFP test guarantees them a baby in 9 months and they don't have the anxiousness that accompanies every symptom (or lack of) or scan. But I don't feel bitter or jealous. I'd love to be in that bubble with them! I really would! I'm
ambivalent with my feelings towards them. They aren't "my" people, they haven't travelled my road but then few have. Maybe I subconsciously avoid them?. I'm open about my struggles so that people don't just think you want a baby so you get one. There are so many people ignorant to the fact that actually most people will have experienced some form of difficulty conceiving or baby loss (in my mid 30s age group id say 75% have suffered one or the other) . They might "know" someone who has gone through it but unless they've experienced it themselves they are never going to understand what it's truly like. I'm not bitter towards the 25% it is what is - I can't make them understand and I wouldn't wish my struggles on them or anyone

I don't think you are experiencing feelings of ungratefulness? Most of my losses came whilst trying for a second baby. I'd look at others with 2-4 kids and I don't think I felt jealousy or bitterness just an overwhelming sadness that I couldn't do that and grief and mourning for the little family I'd always imagined. It's easy to mistake the emotions sometimes

Also you don't know that you can't ever get pregnant again? So maybe you are looking too far ahead at this point when your first isn't even here yet? X