Midwife was a bit rude and I'm miffed. Want to vent!

[wigglerose]

I'm due on 31 December. I asked about a water birth. One of the midwife's comments was "you'll be popular then! They'll love that!" I mean, how is being on call for a home birth different to being on shift at a hospital? With covid-19 raging it's not like anyone's going to be painting the town red this year any way

Women have been having births at inconvenient times for millenia. Trust me, if I could start labour at 8am and be done by 5pm with no complications and avoid giving birth on 31st December or the Christmas week I bloody well would for MY sake let alone the staff!

I don’t see that as overly rude. Maybe slightly but I wouldn’t give it headspace.
I’d just let it go.

Yeah, I'm a bit miffed really.

She was joking with you

Tbh I would take that as they're not keen on doing them in your area. Could be lots of practical reasons for that they don't want to admit to. I would reconsider the homebirth

I think she was making a joke.

I think you may be reading too much into it.

I'd take it as a joke.

In the nicest possible way I really think you're over reacting - I'd very much take that as a jokey comment

You’re massively overreacting. I know this is a stressful time for everyone, but come on, she made a joke. Even if you don’t find it funny, it’s very obvious is wasn’t meant to offend.

I think you are allowed to feel how you feel! I take your point there's already a lot to consider without a not entirely positive comment. Take no notice and ask for what you want. They'll be at work anyway! X

No. Jokes are funny.

OP you have good reason to be miffed. Unprofessional and rude.

Ok, I still think . I work in a profession that can require unsociable hours, I'd never comment that requiring loads of work over the holiday season would make a client popular to a client directly, but I'd probably bitch and whinge to my colleagues!!

@batteriesgoing I'm reconsidering due to risk factors that we discussed and also the level of covid-19 prep that would be necessary, not the joke...

She was very likely to be joking, only 5% of babies come on their due date anyway!

One of the nicest homebirths I ever attended was on Christmas Eve. Have a lovely baby OP

@Iwouldlikesomecake Thank you, very kind, I just thought she was being a bit cheeky.

how is being on call for a home birth different to being on shift at a hospital

Because the people who attend your home birth are probably community midwives who got into the role to have more regular 9-5 hours. Hospital midwives do shifts and that's part of the deal. Depending on your CCG it may well be that your homebirth does indeed pull a community midwife into out of hours work they weren't expecting to do over the festive period.

I think she probably was making a joke, but it is not appropriate when she holds all the cards. You always have to go cap in hand if you have any opinions on how you want to birth your baby from your own body.

I think you were probably feeling on edge and sensitive, due to this, as anyone would. It is a anxious event anyway, without the knowledge that any number of HCPs could take against you any deny you the birth you feel comfortable with.

Be persistent and polite. Tell everyone you want a waterbirth, write it in your notes. Maybe threaten to 'freebirth' in a lazy spa (joking).

I personally don’t think they should make they types of comments to heavily pregnant woman when your stressing enough as it is she may well of meant it as a joke but theirs a time and place and telling a heavily pregnant woman that her style of choosen birth plan isn’t what people want on New Years even is not the time
Nor the place so I totally understand were your coming from ! They should never make you 2nd guess yourselves