Help . Pg and late 40s !

[fuckedandbombed]

I am in such a tizz.

I split up with ex over a year ago , but stupidly met him for a drink a few weeks ago. He ended up staying over and we had sex.

I am late 40s . I'm menopausal. I didn't use anything. We had sex for 5 years with no protection and the one time I caught we lost the baby so I really thought I was out .

Took a text today as period late which is very unlike me .

It's positive.
I would be 49 if I went to term .

Ex is with someone else. I haven't told him. I haven't told anyone. At my age it's not very likely to stick is it ? And it's very early . I'm already getting cramps as if period might start .

I'm in absolute turmoil. I went to 16 weeks with my last pg and I was 45 then. I can't go through that again and I'd be alone this time .

Yet I can't imagine the alternative. I have grown up children from first marriage . I can't do this on my own at 49 can I ? Realistically? And it's likely to end in disaster anyway surely ?

I just want to sit with it for a day of 2 . Am I mad to even consider carrying on and seeing what happens ?

And please no congratulations .

This doesn't bode well .

Obviously only you can decide what to do, but it sounds to me like you want to keep this baby? What is it that makes you think you can’t do it?
I understand due to your history that you may be anxious, maybe have a frank discussion with a midwife about what the risks are and take it from there a step at a time.

I mc last month at 49. Last time I was 45. Dr told me chances of going ft were slim back then.. Didn't even see a Dr this time.
Chances are any decisions will be made very soon anyway op. I was 6 weeks this time.

Thanks sunny . I'm anticipating the same tbh .

Hope you're ok.

I think you need to have a good think OP. Do you want the baby alone? Would your ex be involved after digesting the shock?
I wouldn’t assume the worst because you don’t know hence this pregnancy so don’t bank on not carrying full term this time.

I'm 48 .

I got pg at 45 but my girl had downs and didn't go full term .

I cannot imagine a scenario now where I'd have a baby at 49. I've no idea heya my ex would think . I'm not even telling him at the moment because can't honestly see this sticking.

Like you I haven't used contraception- since ds was born 6 years ago! Shocked last month was an understatement.. Period this month was normal. May be more careful on fertile days from now on - they say a surge near menopause is normal! Doesn't say a ft pregnancy occurs though.

And honestly, while I absolutely loved being a mum - do I even want to consider it alone at 49 ? How would I work? How would I manage ? I have no family to help . I think I'd struggle. And seriously how many women of 49 give birth to healthy babies ? I just feel like im waiting for a disaster. I can't see this going full term at my age . Especially after last time .

@Sunnydaysstillhere I’ve heard about the surge too... & met a couple of ladies with twins!

I'm just gonna sleep on it . My head is spinning. I can't even start to think about this . Thanks all x

Surge at 48 tho ?? I thought me catching at 44 was rare . And that went wrong .

I’d zit tight, see shat happens and if still pregnant at 10 wks have NIPT. That’ll give you an idea what to do.
It’s unlikely to end well but you might prefer to late nature decide for now?

I had my only at 41 but much as I’d like a second I can’t. I’d find it hard to terminate a healthy fetus but not one with abnormalities. It’s an anxious wait though isn’t it.

I have 2 friends who conceived over 45 by accident, both miscarried.

Bloody hell sorry for those typos! Feeding DD

You don't have to decide now. Why not wait till 8 weeks first, see if it sticks and if it looks even a bit viable. The choice might be made for you, and otherwise it gives you a bit of time to calm down and think about how you feel about it in a general way.

Good luck with your decision.

My last pg aborted at 16 weeks and I think it was the single most traumatic experience I've had . Giving birth to a little girl knowing she wasn't coming home with me was just awful. I aren't sure I could go through that again. And the likelihood is this is t going to end in a live birth .

I am just going to sit with it for a bit . I've got stomach cramps and I just don't feel this is going to stick . Which would be just as well since ex is an arse and not with me now anyway. Maybe fate will just sort this .

Thanks everyone. X

♥️ thinking of you, good luck ♥️

Started bleeding. Knew it wouldn't stick . Boobs stopped hurting, had cramps , back ache. It's fine - wouldn't have even known how to tell the ex tbh and my kids are adults so it would have been difficult. I was only a week late so it's very early . I've now deleted ex number and blocked him on everything. There was a little bit of me that was happy to get a bfp but the reality would have been very difficult. I'm a believer in fate and things happening for a reason.

I won't be putting myself in that position again.

I'm feeling awful for you and relieved for you at the same time. What a shock. I wish you all the best.

I'm sorry for you OP even if you weren't sure about it, it's still a shitty situation.

♥️