Anyone else having a pregnancy 'mare with the NHS?

[RobynNora]

Hi fellow mamas

As it says in the title, I'm having a 'mare and looking for some solidarity! I'm 38 weeks and every week there is a new cock up with my maternity care.

My trust has been very poor and I'm stressed out to the point I'm frightened to give birth because I don't trust them to look after me after making so many mistakes over the past 8 months. Someone from my antenatal class commented that it really feels like a dangerous time to be pregnant in my area. I agree.

My complaints are around things like repeated lost test results (including GTT), not being referred to growth scans when I should be and weekly chaos around basic appointment scheduling. Yesterday, they cancelled my flu jab at the last min, which I've had in the diary for ages. I can't get another privately in my area until after my due date, so my baby won't be protected in the first 6 months. They didn't care a bit.

It's not as though I've have unrealistically high expectations of a pandemic pregnancy either. Like all other lockdown mamas, my partner hasn't been allowed into any scans, and I haven't once moaned as I appreciate they're keeping us safe as best they can. I just want basic standards of ante natal care and am feeling really freaked out by it all!

Anyone else? x

Yo. I'm over 14 weeks and still haven't had my 12 week scan or booking in bloods. Don't have my notes.

My booking in appointment: they just rang out of the blue and expected me to be available.

My 12 week scan: had a private scan that pushed my dates ahead by a week. They told me to let midwife know. I did and they still gave me a scan appt for when I was 13+5 (new dates). Then got a bad cold and I didn't know if it was covid or not so couldn't go). I've now had a negative covid test. There has been no follow up and I don't have another scan appointment.

My midwife isn't replying to me texts.

And I'm barely out of the first trimester. I feel abandoned. This feels nothing like my first pregnancy two years ago...

I don't know when my 16 week appointment is because they will 'just call me' at some point.

It's a fucking shambles.

@RobynNora Sorry you’re going through this 😔 I was having major issues too but I’m hoping I’ve hot mine sorted out now. I’m now 36 weeks, higher risk due to BMI, wasn’t given proper GTT, haven’t been referred to a consultant, met my very first midwife ever at 28 weeks, she refused to give me my anti-d injection because I wasn’t “far enough along” despite notes telling me that’s when I was to get it, got a call 2 days later to ask if I’d been given my anti-d because it hasn’t been put on the system 🙄 has to take another day off work to go and get it. Midwife then decided to no-show for my next appointment and 32 weeks and never contact me again 😐 took me 3.5 weeks to get it sorted out so finally got a change of community midwife and seen her at 35.5 weeks. Feeling much better now that I’ve seen her as I feel that she has things a bit more under control but until that appointment I was terrified 😔 it’s definitely tricky at the moment with partners not being allowed in too, but like you, I fully understand why! I’m a first time mum and the whole antenatal care experience has thrown me a bit of I’m honest!

I had my dd ten years ago and it was a shambles then too, doesn't sound like much has changed. There was the Swine flu epidemic at the time, and so there were no hospital visits, only one birth partner etc. Not quite as bad as now, but there was quite a lot of things that I had to go alone to as no one was allowed in with me. Not fun when I'm not a good patient and faint a lot!

@physicskate I would call the department that’s on your original 12 week scan appointment letter and explain to them why the first one was missed. They might be able to book another one directly for you. Don’t rely on the midwife doing it or you’ll be waiting forever. I believe certain tests that they do at the scan are meant to be done before 14-15 weeks or else you might need different types of tests so I’d push for it ASAP!

I have found that the care has stepped up massively in my third trimester but was basically left to fend for myself for the first 28 weeks. As it’s my second pregnancy that’s been a bit more bearable but I do feel particularly for first time mothers, it must be really scary. I really hope you feel more confident by the time of the birth OP (I know not long!) Remember that delivery suite could be a whole different ball game to antenatal care (fingers crossed anyway!)

Cheers @RWK29 - the combined screening can't be done after 14 weeks.

I had my negative covid test yesterday, still feel like shit though (I even had a thread 'feeling a bit shit'), so need to follow through today.

When I cancelled, they said to wait for another letter. It's been a week...

Are these things being chased up?

Took me ages to get my bloods but I rang daily. Rather me and baby be protected.

Same as flu jab. They ran out at the hospital and doctors so I hunt down my nearest boots to get one.

Don't rely on others and do all you can to
Protect you and baby?

Luckily my issues aren't so major but I definitely have seen a massive change in care, from my first baby, to this one.
I'm 27 weeks pregnant and have had two midwife appointment (different midwife each time) and not so much as a phone all in between. I get the impression it's "you've some it once already so you can just get on with it.

It's alarming because the point of midwife appointment isn't just to check on baby, but mums well being and safety aswell. With my first baby, I gained a real bond with my midwife as I saw her regularly. I'm sure she would have picked up on any baby blues or other issues, no chance of that now, I haven't seen the midwife assigned to me since I was 8 weeks at my booking in appointment.

So sorry for everyone else who’s having/has had a bad time of it, but it’s also strangely good to hear of others in the same boat. It’s not as though any of us are expecting 5 star maternity care at the Lindo Wing - this is basic stuff!!

@Foreverbaffled - that’s really helpful to think of the delivery suite as a whole different ballgame to antenatal. I’ll be clinging to that!

@physicskate shambles indeed. At least it’s not your first rodeo and you know things should be better. I hope you get the care you deserve. Someone on MN advised me to talk to Maternity Voices when I was struggling to access care in my early second trimester. They managed to pull strings with my hospital and solve some of my problems through their contacts. Might be worth getting in touch with them if this persists

@BabyG123 Completely agree these things need to be chased up! Took me 3.5 weeks Of phoning every single day to get mine sorted but we got there in the end! 😓 I felt horrendous for the poor midwife that I finally seen because she was run off her feet and you could tell she was stressed with the workload but I’m afraid I’m not going to stop demanding care for me and my baby 🤷🏻‍♀️

@RWK29 exactly. Those who shout loudest get the care. I'm high risk and no way is that risk getting even higher through me not being ontop of things.

Not just a pandemic for the nhs to care for but but baby boom too!

Be accountable girls 🙌🏽

@RobynNora thanks that's really helpful!! I will definitely be in contact with them if I continue to not be able to make headway...

@BabyG123 I’m chasing hard on everything and have been for the past 8 months. I can’t believe how proactive I’ve had to be about every minor thing - even basic stuff like blood pressure readings (which I was doing myself in the second trimester) The last-minute flu jab cancellation was particularly annoying as I’d called three local pharmacies before booking with my GP a whole month ago. I knew wait times were crazy long in my area so I was particularly organised. I’m now screwed as my due date is in two weeks and there’s a wait everywhere - Boots, Superdrug and all the indies. I’ve written an official complaint to my trust so maybe they’ll step in to help me out but I’m not holding my breath.

@RobynNora what a bloody nightmare! I'm lucky that I only had my on last year so kinda remember most things.

I know there has been a shortage of flu jabs because of the pandemic everyone is actually going for them who should. Plus the increase in pregnant people. Under 65's have a different type of injection so there wasn't enough made, doesn't excuse it for someone of your gestation of course. I was told at the weekend when I had time that it takes 2-4 weeks to fully be in your system and to reach baby so I'd defo really start kicking a fuss up now if you're 38 weeks, although they can't just magic them up I'm hoping they prioritise you. 🤞🏼

All of your experiences sound similar to mine too - sorry you are having to go through this!

I've known I was pregnant since before I missed my period and first tried to get my booking in appt at 5 weeks. It took around 3 weeks of chasing to have my appt at 8 weeks. When I went for my scan they decided to stupidly book my scan for 13+5 as the main scanning place was in a local lockdown (so my partner couldn't come). I wouldn't have minded really if I meant I could have my scan a bit earlier but thought they knew best as they knew my dates.

I then went for a scan last week and the baby was in the wrong position so they placed me anywhere between 13+5 to 14+2. She spent ages trying to do the scan and I was in agony for a day or two afterwards (bear in mind this is my 2nd baby so have around 10 scans before and never had this). The person doing the scan asked why I was so late in coming for my scan but I said I was told to come then so did what I was told. So my scan is now booked again for tomorrow so I definitely won't be able to get the full Down's syndrome screening. It's not a huge concern but it's just having the option that would have been nice.

It's basically lots of small things that just are making the experience not so pleasant. From poor appointment scheduling to not hearing back from the midwife when you try to contact them. It just doesn't give me much faith about them delivering my baby when they can't even get the timing of a scan right.

I am 36 weeks and its been the same for me, booked into the wrong hospital, test results needing medication not given back unless chased, phone appointments not kept then rung out the blue. The most annoying was when the hospital managed to lose my notes when I was kept in overnight for high blood pressure. They had no record of my BP medication. Turned up at daycare a week later for a continued monitoring appointment due to BP and they said they had no idea why I was there as the makeshift notes I got given had no information. Doctor said I needed to be on BP medication, when I asked the midwife she said no I could go home, then when leaving another midwife mentioned I was on BP medication and I said no and she said I was to be on it. It just goes on and on - I know they are trying their best but genuinely scared I could collapse and no one would know the history of my pregnancy including what medication I am on etc, and that i was referred to fetal medicine for extra scans so going to have to prepare my own summary. Its just so un-coordinated and this is a large well respected trust.

I am!
Similar experiences to others really. Didn’t have a face to face appointment until 28 weeks which I could cope with. Have had two named midwives who I’ve never seen and the last time I called the second one up a couple of weeks ago there was just a message saying she was no longer a community midwife. Have been trying to ring my local community midwives to find out who is but no answer. Was later told by hospital midwives they’ve had problems with their phone line.
This chasing was all over a promised referral. My midwife at my booking in said I’d be referred for consultant/ anaesthetist. Since then every midwife has said it’s in the process/they’ll chase it up. Got fed up at about 31 weeks and rang hospital who said it had never been put through. They said I’d have to get midwife to do it but couldn’t get hold of my midwife or indeed any community midwife so just had a back and forth for a couple of weeks until someone at the hospital approved it. I was making 20 calls (mostly unanswered) a day.
Finally seeing a consultant at 34 weeks but have lost all faith and my family have said they will support me to go private if I choose, but I am undecided.
Alongside this there have been cancelled appointments the night before, late appointments, missed blood tests, mix ups with hospital, downright rudeness from one midwife that brought me to tears
(she later told me they were so short-staffed and run ragged as an indirect apology but it didn’t make me feel that much better!) and just never seeing/speaking to the same person twice.
I’m a ftm and so stressed by it, it’s also making my partner stressed because he can see it but can’t do anything about it or be there to say anything

I'm 21 weeks and a first time mum and I honestly feel the care (or lack of, really) so far has been dreadful. It's making me worry about giving birth (I want a home birth because I do not cope well in hospitals and with medical professionals in general really due to some awful medical negligence and trauma in the past) and I'm frightened I won't get the birth I want, and need, for my health!

I have mental health issues (depression and anxiety) and was told at my booking appointment that I'd be referred to all these services, I'd have a mental health midwife and see the same one each time for continuity of care and that hasn't happened. The community midwife I saw for my 16 week appointment I don't even know her name. I have no numbers to phone so in an emergency or if I have any worries all I really know to do is go to A&E.

I feel like I've just been left and I'm in a group on Facebook and a lot of other mums feel the same as me, it's quite terrifying.

Oh my gosh, the stories here. I feel so sorry for everyone.

@Luckylau I literally had a sharp intake of breath when I read yours. That's just not good enough. I can't believe they kept you overnight and messed up your notes ... You should not be writing your own summaries, but I see how you have no choice. I feel cross on your behalf

@BG1234 that's great you have the option to go private. We had the same conversation a few weeks ago. I hope it works out for you.

Really feel for the earlier mums here. I was a hormonal, anxious wreck in my horrible first trimester and repeated cockups did not help a bit. You're doing so well.

And on the plus side, after 9 months of navigating the train wreck that is the NHS maternity system, parenting is going to feel like a relative walk in the park for all us first timers ;)

You're all shitting me right up here!!! I'm only 8 weeks, self referred via the website and have heard nothing back yet. By the sounds of it I'd best not hold my breath. 😒

Sorry to hear of all the struggles, I am also finding it a bit chaotic/hit and miss. I agree about pushing for what you need but to so that you need to know what you need, iyswim. Is there a way to find out what we should be getting so we can check if we are getting it?

Sorry for typo...should say to do that you need to know what you need!

Ah sorry @Waitingforbabypage. Don’t be too put off. I did ask for other nightmare stories to feel less alone, so won’t be representative of everyone. Maybe google ‘positive birth stories’ to counter our voices a bit. I was also using mat services heavily in peak lockdown when nobody knew wtf was happening. Hopefully lots of trusts have got their acts together now.

@Inkpaperstars I‘ve been spending a lot of time lurking round here! Have also read pregnancy books like ‘first time parent’. There are schedules of U.K. maternity appointments online too eg 12 week scan, 16 week check up, whooping cough etc

My baby is 6 weeks and my first. Antenatal care was quite shit with me having to constantly chase up midwife and consultant appointments, prescriptions, scans..I found you just had to keep on and on at it. On the third day I couldn't get through to the antenatal department about a time critical cervical length scan I was meant to have, I actually googled my consultant, found her contact details and emailed her directly explaining the difficulty I was having and she sorted it for me.
Having said that, the care I received when my waters went at 34 weeks was second to none and again when I had my baby prematurely. So don't lose heart- in my experience things at the hospital on the ward and delivery suite were very different. Just make sure you keep voicing any concerns you have and chasing up appointments. I know you shouldn't have to but it's better that than have something go wrong. Best of luck.