First time clueless mum

[kbx201]

Hey,

I’m nearly 29 weeks pregnant and trying to prepare as much as I can but I feel like I know nothing. I don’t have a relationship with my mum or a mother figure really to ask, so I’m kind of on my own trying to navigate this! So I have a few questions if that’s ok.

⁃	I often hear people talking about their baby being on the ‘X centile’. What does this mean?
⁃	I want to breastfeed but aware that this doesn’t always work out, so do I need to buy all the kit for bottle feeding? Bottles, formula and steriliser?
⁃	What actually happens once you’ve had your baby and the dad has to leave? You’re just on your own? I know the basics, how to change nappy etc but it’s v overwhelming to think that once my partner leaves, my first night with baby it’ll just be me. 
⁃	I have read that milk doesn’t come in for 3ish days so if I’m wanting to BF do I need to formula feed for those 3 days until my milk comes in? 
⁃	My baby will be born in december so how do I dress him? A short sleeved vest with a long sleeved vest in the house? And then a sleepsuits/pramsuit and hat out the house?
⁃	How do you make bottles? If BF’ing doesn’t work out 
 ⁃	I think I have got the main big essentials but have I missed anything - I’ve bought a pram, car seat, next2me crib, baby carrier/sling thing and a cotbed (for later on). Planning on buying baby Bjorn bouncer, anything else that is essential?

Thanks

Hello lovely, I'm due the same time you are, I'm planning on breast feeding too but I've just ordered a pack of 6 ready made Aptamil bottles with pre sterilised teats for an emergency back up plan. (£8.50 from Ocado)

There shouldn't be any need to use formula in the first few days because your body is really clever and if you feed baby on demand your body will be able to make the right amount of milk. If you top up with formula you might not make enough milk and that's when breast feeding could fail. But always speak to your midwife if you have any concerns and you can always phone labour ward/community midwives when you're home if you need to for advice for the first few weeks.

This my 5th baby and I've breast fed my first 4 babies without supplementing with formula and none of them have lost weight in the first week. As long as you're getting plenty of wet and dirty nappies everything should be fine.

I used a book called the contented little baby book by Gina ford when I had my first. It's very regimented and probably very out of date now and I'm sure someone can suggest a better book for baby routines but I honestly found it really helpful to know what I should be doing with my baby and what to expect baby to do month by month. I don't think I ever followed it 100% and I always fed my babies on demand not by schedule but I found the nap routines worked.

There shouldn't be any need to use formula in the first few days because your body is really clever and if you feed baby on demand your body will be able to make the right amount of milk. If you top up with formula you might not make enough milk and that's when breast feeding could fail. But always speak to your midwife if you have any concerns and you can always phone labour ward/community midwives when you're home if you need to for advice for the first few weeks.

Bangs head against wall.

OP if you want to use formula you can. Not everyone can breastfeed and if you need to formula feed it doesn't mean you won't be able to go back to BFing. It's not as simple as "your body is clever and knows what to do".

I think for advice around feeding, speak to a midwife, don't take advice from here

Hi OP. In case you're finding things confusing from some of the previous posts.....the truth is that for most women, the colostrum that your body produces for baby in the first 3 or so days is exactly right for them in terms of the amount you produce. Their tummies are tiny and so a teaspoon sized amount at each feed is perfect. The change from colostrum to milk happens gradually from about day 3 to 5 and works on a supply and demand basis. The more you feed, the more you produce. Hence why most women are able to feed twins etc. However, very occasionally (believed to be between 2 and 5 % of women), the body does not produce enough milk for various reasons, which sounds like the case for one or two previous posters. However, if this were to happen, you'd receive support from the hospital who would provide formula. It is a good idea to look up a good source, such as Kellymom, NCT or La Leche league, to understand before your baby is born the signs to look out for that baby is getting enough milk. So you are armed with knowledge and not too reliant on busy /stressed midwives to make the judgement for you. But don't be afraid to ask for help or support!

Am a FTM so can’t help with specific questions. But I know many councils offer free courses for new mums where you can find out a lot of this stuff and also meet expecting mums near where you live which can be a great support network

There are also paid courses and books. There are often threads here with people sharing recommendations