This is so hard to write, anxiety

[supoort]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant, not seen a midwife yet because of my anxiety. I had a private scan at 9 weeks and I know when my last period was so I know I'm roughly 20 weeks. I need to see a midwife I know this... but I feel I've left it too late and now my anxiety is even worse. I've decided I'm ringing today and that I can't let this anxiety win! This isn't even my first baby so I'm not sure why I've let it get this far. Think lockdown, and it's just gone on and on... I feel like I'm going to be shouted at for not getting in touch sooner.
I don't think it's advice I need... more encouragement because I feel sick at the thought of it. It's eating me up inside.

They won't shout at you, @supoort

They'll have seen it all before. Can anyone sit with you while you call or can they call for you?

Even a friend could Skype you and sit with you virtually when you call?

Big hugs. I am not pregnant but know what it's like to have anxiety and the inability to do what under usual circumstances, should be a very straightforward task - if only it worked like that!

Definitely call the midwives, its important to be receiving the right care! You possibly wouldn't have had a face to face appointment with them yet anyway as things have changed slightly with COVID but by this stage you have missed out on your 12 week scan and the screening done at that stage but if you ring them soon they can get you infor a scan to make sure baby is all okay!

Definitely mention your anxiety too, they will help you!

My toddler naps around lunch time... I'm going to ring then, no excuses, I'm just going to call and see what they say. I'm scared but I'm determined I'll do it. Thanks for the replies. I just hope whoever I speak to is understanding with my anxiety 😔

Nobody is going to shout at you, OP. You’re absolutely doing the right thing by getting in touch with them now. Reassure yourself that they want the best for you and your baby, and will help you with both the pregnancy and your anxiety. You and your baby deserve to be looked after, and this is part of that process

Just putting the toddler for a nap now... so here goes nothing 😩

Didn't want to read and run, hope your phone call goes well.
X

Remember that not too long ago women didn't have routine checks or scans at all. In many other countries women have no scans before giving birth.
There's no reason to be unduly anxious or feel like you've missed the boat. All is okay.
You won't be shouted at and they will take good care of you and bump. Congratulations!

I know you can do this @supoort - just take the first step, call and say "Im 20 weeks pregnant and I need to book in". Theyll take it from there

@supoort

I'm 20 weeks pregnant, not seen a midwife yet because of my anxiety. I had a private scan at 9 weeks and I know when my last period was so I know I'm roughly 20 weeks. I need to see a midwife I know this... but I feel I've left it too late and now my anxiety is even worse. I've decided I'm ringing today and that I can't let this anxiety win! This isn't even my first baby so I'm not sure why I've let it get this far. Think lockdown, and it's just gone on and on... I feel like I'm going to be shouted at for not getting in touch sooner. I don't think it's advice I need... more encouragement because I feel sick at the thought of it. It's eating me up inside.

You can do it!! Just say, hey I'm calling to book in as I'm 20 weeks pregnant. I had a scan at 9 weeks and they will continue from there! They won't shout at you! You will be fine! Xx

I hope you've managed to pick up the phone. I also struggle with anxiety at times, and having to phone people is a particular trigger. I delayed my initial contact for quite a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant. There was an online registration within my trust so I filled that out to book in and then the midwife rang me which made things easier for me. Since then, they midwife has been fantastic and really reassuring and I am getting more confident to ring when I need, but do still put it off probably longer than I should do! Sending you support and a hand hold.

If it makes you feel any better, when I had DS, the woman in the bed next to me had walked in that morning and had an EMCS. She'd had no medical care up to that point. The staff completely took it in their stride. Hope you're doing okay

Thank you everyone for being so kind and not judging me. I spoke to a lovely midwife she was great, said she understands and she's going to call me back in an hour to book me in properly and book me a scan. Thank you again for your kind words

Well done for taking that step!!

I did the same thing and they did harass me a little bit but I'm so grateful they did. I finally went at 20 weeks, very irresponsible of me when I'm high risk but they were very kind to me and made special arrangements for me too like meeting me in the community as I was scared of going to hospital. Now I waltz in and out of the hospital like there never was a pandemic, and when you've been a few times you realise it's actually very safe, especially the maternity departments. I feel very looked after and clean etc

Well done @supoort!!!

@supoort

Thank you everyone for being so kind and not judging me. I spoke to a lovely midwife she was great, said she understands and she's going to call me back in an hour to book me in properly and book me a scan. Thank you again for your kind words

Yay! Well done xxx

@namechangefail2020 sorry you felt the same. It's weird because this is my 5th baby, with number 1 and 2 I went to everyone appointment.. then number 3 I missed quite a few near the end, number 4 I didn't book in till 17 weeks... so it's just got worse! I'm glad I did it though, I'm actually proud of myself because it was difficult for me to do. Just hoping the toddler stays asleep long enough for me to have the next phone call with the midwife lol

Just to update, did my booking appointment over the phone, she was absolutely lovely, I'll get a scan appointment in the next couple of days and will have to have bloods then, I feel so much relief now it was weighing on me so much, anxiety really is crippling sometimes.

Well done for doing it. I know what you mean about how anxiety can just take over and prevent you from doing things even when you really want to do them. Sending hugs x

So glad you called.
You’re definitely not the first mum to feel like that.
Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy x

Well done you! I'm so glad you did, and super glad you feel better for it. Here's to a healthy pregnancy! Xx

Thanks all, much appreciated ♥️