Struggling with baby mapping

[bleachblondemom]

I’m 31 and a half weeks, had two midwife appointments so far and both time she said baby is head down. Which is great, but I’m one of those people who won’t 100% believe it until I can see (or in this case feel) for myself.
I’ve googled baby mapping and spent so much time feeling around but I can’t find anything they describe. I do have signs of baby being head down- bigger kicks at the top, small punches lower down, hiccups under the bellybutton etc. But I can’t actually feel any part of the baby with my hands (not that I can tell anyway). Says to feel just above your public bone for the head- well i can’t feel anything! My bump is quite soft at the bottom probably because I carried a bit of weight on my stomach before so there’s a layer of fat there probably getting in the way. Cannot feel anything hard at all.
At the top I can sometimes feel something hard but no idea if it’s a head, bottom, knee, foot etc. Not a clue! And I think baby is back to back so again my bump is still a bit soft which doesn’t help.
I hate that I can’t feel it properly, it’s the control freak in me 😔 I don’t want to keep being told it’s head down and then spending three weeks til the next appointment stressing over where it still is or not.

At 31 and a half weeks it really doesn’t matter what so ever, the position of the baby only really matters from 36/37 weeks and if you’re midwife was concerned the baby wasn’t head down you
would be sent for a scan. Without coming across rude at all, I think your anxiety is a bigger issue than the baby’s position, you’re not meant to be able to tell where your baby is lying, it’s why you see the midwife who is trained in it. Even to a trained individual it can be tricky but it really makes absolutely no odds until later one, they will be changing position constantly whilst they still have the room😊

My DS14 was breech at 37/38 weeks so they sent me up for a cephalic inversion. Got scanned on arrival and he had turned head down on his own. Nobody ever checked after that since they aren't supposed to move. Had a sweep to induce a week at ten days overdue and got to 5-6cm dilation without waters breaking. They broke them manually and realised at that point that he was undiagnosed breech and had turned back after that final scan! What will be will be and the midwives should be able to tell if your baby is head down at 36/37 weeks and scan you if any uncertainty. Try not to be anxious about something you can't really control.

@thetangleteaser you’re probably right, it is just me worrying about it when I don’t need to yet. Just wish I could feel it for myself, like I said it’s the control freak in me- I don’t like to rely on other people telling me what’s going on, I want to see/feel for myself! But I’m not a trained professional so I need to make myself realise I have to trust other people. Would just be nice to feel something ‘normal’ so I can think ok that’s fine then, moving on!

@GanderousGoose good to know that they do actually scan you and try to help if the baby isn’t head down by then.

Think of all the ways you can feel the babies position, like you said, you can feel the kicks in a certain place😊 it’s hard but you have relinquish control a bit, consider it practise for when your baby arrives and you really have to just relax as it’s impossible to control every situation when a baby is about! Relax and enjoy your pregnancy without stressing yourself out worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about, although I do appreciate it’s easier said than done!

I got told my DD was head down in the labour suite. EMCS about half an hour later proved otherwise. Try not to worry right now, it'll all work out right whatever happens.

@thetangleteaser thank you, good advice :)

I'm at the same stage (2nd baby though) and she has been every where this week. She was transverse for 2 days then must have been trying my pelvis out for size the next as I could barely walk. You just have to try not to worry about it too much, you can't control much of pregnancy or labour unfortunately.

I find where you feel their hiccups is a good indication, so if you feel then low down and by your pubic bone / at least below your belly button I'd be pretty confident they were head down x