Name changed for this. For a bit of background - 21 weeks pregnant, baby conceived after struggling with fertility issues (me) and being told I wouldn't get pregnant naturally. Both really shocked and a bit overwhelmed when we found out but excited and happy.
Marriage is good, no problems there.
Had the anomaly scan a few days ago and decided we would like to know the sex of the baby if visible. Baby is a boy. I have said from the beginning of the pregnancy I thought baby was going to be a boy (just had a "feeling") so didn't seem much of a surprise to me and I am very happy and grateful to be pregnant.
Husband is incredibly disappointed. He was hoping for a girl for various reasons but mostly because of his own upbringing. He did not have a positive childhood and his dad is not a nice person so I think he is worried about raising a boy. He also doesn't have the best opinion of boys in general as he thinks boys can be bullies, boisterous etc and I think he's worried about having a boy who is a "stereotypical" boy. He thinks girls are cleverer etc and I have told him so many times that our boy will be different to the young boys you see out on the streets etc who are not nice and clearly aren't raised well. I've also told him boys can be very loving etc and our boy will not be forced into gender roles of boys should be tough etc. But I feel like it's falling on deaf ears. He is still touching my stomach etc but I feel that's more for my benefit and I have been showing him boys clothes etc and he just doesn't seem interested. He is definitely trying to feign positivity but it's getting me down that he's so disappointed when it could be our only child and we have managed to conceive despite my problems and despite a lot of worries.
I am in a couple of groups on Facebook and have read a lot of people posting about "gender disappointment" and thought it was ridiculous and he has agreed with me when I've read things out to him but now he's the same! I don't know how to deal with this and I don't know how long it's going to take for him to come to terms but it's sort of killing my happiness and making me doubt whether a girl would have been better (which is ridiculous I know!). He's making me feel very uncertain and a bit insecure. My family are over the moon to have another boy in the family and his mum and siblings etc have all been really happy about baby being a boy.
Has anyone ever experienced this? Either themselves or with their partner. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.