Social Services referral, anything else i need to think about/change?

[justnamechanging03]

hello,
just needing some advice/a handhold. if thers a better place for this let me know.
i am currently 12 weeks pregnant first pregnancy. I knew from day one that a social services referral would be made. it was discussed today that one would be made at 16 weeks (could have been made at 20 weeks but going to be earlier just so it happens faster for me).
the reason for referal is that i was in care myself (so its automatic just from that) and i had previous server mental helath problems. No problmes with drugs/alchol/domestic violence. im not with the father he has been made aware but wont be involved. which i know is for the best. i have autism/ptsd and have been sectioned on a couple of ocassions and have struggled with self harm. When unwell emergency services have got involved. But it is written down that i woudl never be violent towards another person. Recently i have been on top of cleaning, not slef harmed for 6 months (and want to keep it this way) not needed crisis team or anything for over three months, have been keeping with appotments and getting all support nessacry. I have a really good support system. I work in a hospital with children and i am going to uni next september to complete a health course. Services have said there will be some concerns but they are happy with how i am doing at the moemnt and when talking to services we do talk about after the birth etc but i am still so worried. its so hard to get excited. is there anything else i need to do? any advice? thank you

I wish you well as you're clearly trying hard to create a stable situation to bring your child into.

Will the father be on the birth certificate/obtaining PR/having access? They have an obligation to financially support your child.

Just keep engaging with the support you have in place and if you have any questions or doubts, share them so that they can help. Ultimately they will do their best to keep you and your baby together and healthy.

If you are aware of any stresses or triggers that have troubled you in the past, consider what you can do to avoid them impacting you.

thank you :)
no father wont be going on birth certificate/having accsess which speaking to professionls/other people is deffintly the right option

I haven’t been in your position, but I have worked with families who are under social services. It’s all about getting a plan in place to support you and your child. It may feel invasive, but it will make sure that you are coping and get any help you need as soon as possible. They will also help you to develop support networks.

I can’t say don’t worry, but I will say accept help and reach out if you start to struggle. A mum getting help and recognising she needs it is a good thing. Struggling and then having a wobble is less good. All the best

The only advice is to keep working with the services you need to and put safety plans in place for your baby if/when your MH deteriorates in the future. (Not that you would hurt baby but your MH might make you unable to meet his/her needs at that particular time.)

How old are you OP? I’m not sure of the age criteria, but there is a service called family nurse partnership that runs in certain parts of the U.K. that help younger parents through some of the challenges around having children.
It may be worth asking about it and social services would see that as being proactive.

Social services want to keep families together and want to support parents with that where possible. So as long as you work with them, it should be ok.

Do you have any other additional support? That will be quite key from social services point of view about supporting you and your baby.

I've had social care involved because of my mental health several times. What they want to hear is that your putting your baby first and that your able to put the baby's needs before your own. Those first few weeks are shock to the system and for me finding the energy to do basic things (other than sleep and baby care) was impossible.

I wouldnt go into how feeling with your babys social worker, in my experience showing any emotion in front of a social worker makes them worry.

I suspect they will want to contact the father to explore social support for you and baby. And thats something you need to think about, is what you are going to if your unwell (not just mentally) and you need someone else to help with baby.

I hope you find the excitement of becoming a mummy and finding a life past your mental health problems 💕. One of the things I used to find really soothing when I was pregnant was putting my hand on my belly, being quiet and just telling bump about my day or who I thought they'd become!