Sex during pregnancy

[Oneandabean]

Feel a bit odd, but just wondering if anyone has had similar. I’m 23 weeks and haven’t had sex since I found out I was pregnant at about 4/5 weeks, mainly due to a mix of exhaustion and feeling anxious (potential for problems with cervix)
Had sex last week but it really didn’t feel good, it was really uncomfortable, everything felt overly sensitive, almost painful. My partner said I felt a lot tighter and I did experience some bleeding afterwards. I’m wondering if this is normal during pregnancy or am I just tensing up from the anxiety? Everyone talks about how amazing pregnant sex is so I feel like there’s something wrong with me.

I’m 7 weeks, and since finding out I’ve been quite sensitive and feeling quite fragile about having sex. I keep having to tell myself that it definitely won’t harm the baby! I haven’t had pain but I just feel quite cautious like I’m worried about hurting the baby in some way, which I know is ridiculous! So I can’t say we’ve had amazing sex since finding out haha.

I do get a bit of brown discharge after which also puts me off a bit ☹️

Hope some other people can give you more advice/opinions, I’d be interested to see too xx

Aw, I was similar but finally did it about 17 weeks ish and it felt great. Maybe you just need to take it slower and use some lube etc.

@Oneandabean

Feel a bit odd, but just wondering if anyone has had similar. I’m 23 weeks and haven’t had sex since I found out I was pregnant at about 4/5 weeks, mainly due to a mix of exhaustion and feeling anxious (potential for problems with cervix) Had sex last week but it really didn’t feel good, it was really uncomfortable, everything felt overly sensitive, almost painful. My partner said I felt a lot tighter and I did experience some bleeding afterwards. I’m wondering if this is normal during pregnancy or am I just tensing up from the anxiety? Everyone talks about how amazing pregnant sex is so I feel like there’s something wrong with me.

I had sex for the first time since finding out a couple of days ago and I bled after!! Its put me off because I'm scared I'm going to hurt the baby even though it won't lol

@Oneandabean
Have you been told then that you're got cervix problems then?
Sex definitely doesn't hurt the baby internally/vaginally.
I'm 20 weeks and it is very sore, so we just do it for a few minutes here and there for bonding! My mood for sex in the first trimester was non existent! X

@cat709 it was a potential due to a previous LLETZ, they’ve been monitoring me but they’re now happy that there’s no problems, only got the all clear yesterday though.

I feel similar - I'm 31 weeks and we've literally done it twice

I had cervix shortness issues, had sex maybe 3 times during pregnancy, once early on was like normal but from ten weeks on it was painful and just felt really odd, over sensitive like you say but not in a good way. I think it was partly me being worried about it and partly sensitivity linked to the pregnancy or maybe cervix issues.

@Oneandabean great news it's all sorted. Try and use lube so you're not to tense maybe? Good luck!! X

May need to experiment with positions? I find that the positions we used to do prior to falling pregnant are uncomfortable now.
I found an article that talked about best positions.
Although my libido is absolutely shot, no desire for sex at all - keep waiting for it appear as they say happens in pregnancy, but approaching third trimester and it’s still hibernating!

We tried once but I had to stop. I felt sore and uncomfortable. That was at about 14 weeks and I'm 28 now. The thought does cross my mind but I don't feel up to it. My body has changed so much, doesn't feel sexual at the moment

Thanks everyone, feels better knowing other people are going through similar, I hear so much about amazing pregnancy sex, never anything about people struggling

21 weeks pregnant here and haven’t had sex since we conceived! I feel guilty but have zero sex drive (didn’t have one before pregnancy either!) I did say to OH the other day I’d like to try so it’s not so long in between but after reading some of these comments I’m a bit scared to!

@Oneandabean The anxiety probably isn’t helping OP. Hopefully you’ll be able to relax next time!
First trimester I really wasn’t feeling like it at all so we didn’t even try and then towards the end of the first trimester I had a couple of random bleeds which they couldn’t find any cause for and they absolutely terrified us both 😔 after reading about how common it was to bleed after sex in pregnancy that was sex completely off the table for us both 😔 probably completely irrational, I know, but the thought of seeing blood again was enough to put us both off. Now 35 weeks and still haven’t had any sex 🙈 hopefully once baby is here and I’m healed up we can go back to some kind of normal sex life!

I can't get it in! Haven't been able to have penetrive sex since finding out pretty much (especially after first trimester sickness). We're trying other stuff, but I can't get comfortable, don't know what position to try and have such a lack of sex drive. I find it really off-putting when articles say my libido will come back - well I haven't seen it!
We always use lube, so wondering if baby is still low down which means nothing fits any more..? What positions should I be trying?

I really didn’t like pregnancy sex! Honestly everything was too sensitive (increased blood flow maybe?) and my libido basically disappeared around 8 weeks and didn’t re-emerge. I wasn’t concerned about hurting the baby but I was worried about what it was going to be like after having the baby as I figured how much lower could my libido dip with bf/birth recovery etc. Weirdly though my sex drive came back around 2 weeks after birth so all is not lost! I’m 7 weeks post birth and we haven’t done it loads but it feels almost back to pre pregnancy levels in terms of comfort and much better than during the pregnancy so try not to worry

@MarvEll we have only really been doing it in like a spooning position. I found it more comfortable but mostly because it is easier and my belly isn't in the way (and I'm just being lazy as can't really be bothered I'm so tired.)

No amazing pregnancy sex drive here either....

I found out I was pregnant at 4/5 weeks and had sex probably once a week after for a few weeks but partner was a bit more gentle. When I was 11+5 me and my partner had sex and the following morning I woke up bleeding, went to the hospital and all was well thank god! Turns out my placenta was over my cervix at the time (now sitting high at 35+4) which was aggravated during sex and caused the bleed.

I'd say just take it slow, be more gentle and try to relax, being tight will almost 100% have been caused by you being anxious. They do say when men brag about being with a woman who was 'tight' that they are just saying they did a shit job😂 the more relaxed you are, the 'looser' you will be and make it more comfortable and enjoyable for yourself. I was anxious the first few times after finding out i was pregnant, and for a few times since the bleed I mentioned but you just got to try and relax. Have you tried lube? May make things a bit smoother and help😊

Sex life was pretty normal until about 20 weeks but has slowed down a lot since then, mostly because DH thinks it's weird to have his willy so close to baby...

I find it maybe slightly uncomfortable at times but still enjoy it on the whole.