PND

[butterfly193]

So have just found out I am expecting baby number 2, but so worried as I just went through 2 years of severe PND after having my first to the point I was self harming and having suicidal thoughts. I'm just looking to hear other people's (positive hopefully) stories and if it will come back as bad second time round?

Sorry I'm a ftm so don't know about reoccurring pnd but I was at very high risk of pnd/ppp as I'm bipolar and I know what living with a risk of depression is like.

I was referred to the perinatal mental health team and a consultant obstetrician who specialised in mental health. When I had her I was kept in for 3 days because of my medication. All the staff were aware of my risk factors, they all reminded me how important sleep was and to get them if I needed help in the nights. When I was discharged I was under the midwives for the full 28 days and where possible I saw one of two midwives for continuity.

I am 7 weeks postpartum, my mood started to get unsettled at 2 weeks and by 3 weeks I was showing signs of pnd. The combination of midwives, health visitors and perinatal mh team has meant I gave had contact from at least one of them each week. My health visitor has arranged for me to have some baby massage sessions to improve my bond. I have had my medication increased. Every hcp I have come into contact with has known my diagnosis and pnd risk, they have all worked towards me getting support early and are working with me in my home to ensure that we stay on top of my mood as much as possible.

There is nothing scarier than the first time you have a severe depression /mental health episode. You are at an advantage this time round you know its a possibility, you know you can come out the other side and there can be more people in your corner sooner.

What did you find helpful last time? Are there ways to plan ahead to put them in place preemptively?

Hi @butterfly193 - I’m also pregnant with my second and had severe pnd last time. I really agree with the above comment about the benefits of knowing what to expect this time. Nothing will shock you like it did then, I remember thinking I’d never get through it. You know what to look out for, how to help yourself etc.

Are you putting anything into place at the moment during pregnancy? It could be small things like having a bath or reading every night. Just to keep your mind calm. My main issue the first time round was bonding with my son and I had really awful intrusive thoughts surrounding him. I’ve come to learn that it’s classed as perinatal ocd and have had therapy a few times to help me address it. At the moment I’m reading a book called The Mind Workout. It’s all about understanding our minds and basically learning new techniques when the bad stuff comes round again. What things do you do if you want to relax?

I honestly really know how you feel. When I found out at first I was so anxious, I felt like it was coming back again. But I spoke to a few people about my fears which helped. I was on mediation for a year which I’ve since weaned off but am happy to go back on them if I do feel bad again.

Feel free to message me xx

Thank you for your replies! I've completely came off my meds for about a month now so hoping I don't need to go back to them as have tried about 7 different ones and none of them seemed to work. I have previously had a counsellor and been in contact with the crisis team at my hospital. Last time when it got bad I tried mindfulness and CBT that helped a lot.

We've just moved house after living with our parents (completely different thread!!) so it's great having my own space again and being able to relax at night.

I just need to try and think positive it's just so hard when I've been through such a hard time and I've just really started feeling better and now I've fell pregnant again it was planned but just feel a bit scared!