Struggling with weight gain first trimester - anxious about midwife weigh in

[jezza1234]

Hi all,
I am 11+3 wks pregnant and have put on 5-6lbs of weight already, no doubt from mainlining carbs to help with my nausea. I have body image issues and previously was bulimic when younger, and am really struggling with this gain.

In particular I feel really panicky about being weighed by the midwife at 12 weeks and being told that I am overweight, which my BMI will show, and being ‘told off’ for gaining weight. I feel humiliated and teary just thinking about it.

Does anyone have any experience of this? What is it like when you’re weighed by the midwife? Do they have to discuss your BMI with you or do they just write it down? Thanks very much for any advice on this

5-6lbs is not much at all. They will not give you a row for gaining weight as its normal to put on weight in pregnancy.

Thanks @dementedpixie, that’s reassuring - I think I know that rationally, it’s the messed up body image part of my brain that’s struggling...!

@jezza1234 Please don’t worry about your weight ❤️ I know that’s easier said than done if you have a history of disordered eating, but you are growing a whole human 👶🏻 Your body is doing an amazing thing!!

Have you already had your measurements taken for your booking in appointment or are these being done at your scan? Mine were done after my 12 week scan and I had a very high BMI even before getting pregnant. The midwife weighed me and measured my height, calculated my BMI and simply said... “because you’re within the high BMI range I’ll prescribe you some Aspirin to take daily until the end of your pregnancy - it just helps the placenta. I’ll also book you a glucose tolerance test at 25 weeks just to check blood sugar”. There was no judgement at all from her! I’m now 35 weeks and haven’t been weighed again since. They’re far more interested in how baby is growing 😊

Don't worry! I don't think I was weighed after booking in but I put on nearly a stone in the first trimester. I didn't feel great about it but it's natural, try to be kind to yourself x

@RWK29 thank you so much for your message, I don’t know if it’s the hormones but I had a little cry reading it! I know I need to focus on the beautiful and amazing thing that my body is doing, rather than the voice in my head struggling to relinquish control to the process. Really appreciate your experience of being weighed, that doesn’t sound too intimidating! This will be the first time I’m being weighed as the booking in appt was over the phone.

Hey OP, I'm pregnant with my second at the moment, also in the first tri with a similar weight gain to you.

With my first, I was a healthy BMI when we conceived but my first trimester weight gain put me at an overweight BMI. Midwife didn't even comment, just wrote the info down. In the end I gained way more than the recommended amount but it didn't affect my pregnancy or birth at all, and nobody once told me off (even when I was huge at the end). I'm sure this pregnancy will be the same.

Don't worry - do what helps you feel better and listen to your body.

@Bleepers thanks so much for your message - I’m going to try and be kinder to myself this week - beating myself up for gaining weight is definitely counter-productive...

@LittleLL thanks so much for your experience, I hope it’s the same with my midwife! I guess they must be doing this day in day out, so they expect to see people gaining weight throughout pregnancy. Sounds so silly even saying that, of course they do!

I was never weighed once in either of my pregnancies ( I’m 33 weeks into my second pregnancy now ). I was asked at my 8 week booking appointment what my weight was and since I knew they didn’t weigh me . Both my pregnancies I started off with a slightly above healthy bmi and both pregnancies I gained 10lbs in the first trimester from eating carbs carbs carbs 😩! My weight was never talked about after my booking appointment . And even then I was never shamed for being overweight. I was educated on what I should gain , which I went over anyway . With my first pregnancy I gained 35 pounds total . It looks like I’ll probably gain the same with this pregnancy too . It literally melted off me with my last baby so fingers crossed the same happens this time 🤞

Oh bless you. Agree with everything everyone has said. It’s not a lot of weight gain and a lot of it is probably water retention. I had a high BMI at booking and not one negative thing was said. Just enjoy this special time, stay active and eat well as you probably already are. Good luck.

@MichelleOR84 @Foreverbaffled thanks for replying, it’s really comforting to read that you’ve had positive experiences with the midwife. I’m going to do my best to get out of my head and not worry so much about the weight, reflecting on it I think a lot of it is free floating anxiety about a lot of things happening at the moment. Will hope for the best with my appointment and trust that my body is doing what it needs to right now. Thanks again xx

@jezza1234 Mine was the same 😊 and honestly, they did all my weight/bloods etc after I’d had my scan and I was in too much of a little world of my own after seeing our little baby to even care what they said 😂😊 The good thing is that you’ve recognised that the negative thoughts about your weight were creeping in 😊 If you feel you need extra support with it then definitely mention it to the midwife after your scan too 😊 Pop back on and let us know how you get on at your scan ❤️

I also had a high BMI, the midwife didn't say anything about my weight other then to take daily aspirin & vitamin d.
This is my 2nd pregnancy, I gained 7lb in the 1st trimester, 2lb in the 2nd trimester, I'm almost 32 weeks & haven't gained anymore yet.

With my 1st pregnancy I was a healthy weight at the start, but gained 4 stone by the time he was born, the midwife's didn't say anything then either.

I'm enormously fat and was never told off by midwives. They are used to seeing all sorts of people.

If you are worried I suggest you tell the midwife so and maybe even about the bulimia (but make sure you're clear it was when you were a teen or whatever).

OP I have a very similar background to you. I had anorexia/bulimia as a teen. I'm 42 now and pregnant with dc2, 12 weeks.

Please, please stop weighing yourself. Put the scales away, take the batteries out. No good will come of weighing yourself.

Now let me tell you my experience. My bmi was 28 when I got pregnant with dd. My weight was never mentioned. I lost some weight in the first trimester as I was so sick. First time I've ever lost weight without trying. . But my bmi was still overweight. No health professional ever had a go at me, or advised me to diet or anything.

With this pregnancy, at the start my BMI was 32. I've been really nauseous, and unlike my last pregnancy, I've been craving carbs, which have really helped with the nausea.

I know I've put on weight as I can see it. But I haven't weighed myself. No good will come of weighing myself. The sickness has been much better for the last week, so I've been just doing my best to make sensible choices where I can.

I've had contact with my midwife, gp and obstetrician. All of them have access to my weight. None of them have mentioned it. I was recently weighed and closed my eyes and asked them not to tell me my weight.

The only thing way my weight was mentioned was at my booking appointment. The midwife said there I'll be seen in the midwife clinic for women with a bmi of over 30. But in reality this is no different from the other clinics.

It definitely hard when you have anxieties about weight/body image. I’m also dreading the first weigh in because I very rarely weigh myself. I know I am overweight but have been a stable weight for years and exercise regularly and am pretty healthy otherwise. So why put myself through the upset of regular weigh ins? It’s taken me years and therapy to accept my body - I really hope I can keep that healthy mindset through pregnancy

You could tell the midwife you have a difficult time with body image and eating disorders. Am sure they won’t judge and then they can know to be sensitive about it.

Whenever I was weighed by my kid wife they never even told me what the number was on the scales, they just wrote it down in their notes.

I understand how you feel, but really, try not to worry about weight gain too much. Your blood volume increases by about another 20% when you’re pregnant, so that’s a kilo right there. Then you have the weight of the placenta, the weight of al the amniotic fluid, plus the weight of the growing baby on top. And then your boobs will increase in size too - I’m sure mine were a kilo each by the end!!

I know it goes against everything we’ve been conditioned to think, but a little weight gain in pregnancy is a good thing.

I gained just under 3kg in my first trimester and was worried about the same thing - they just weighed me, wrote it down and didn’t say anything.

BMI during pregnancy doesn’t “count”, they just want to make sure that you are putting on the right amount in relation to your pre-pregnancy BMI.

I’ve been tracking mine more to make sure that there aren’t any spikes etc. There’s so much rubbish on the internet about how much you should or shouldn’t gain.

I’ve gained 9kg now at 29 weeks and feel comfortable enough with that. For some people it’s more, for others it’s less!

I’ve not been weighed by a midwife since my 12 week scan so I’m the only one who knows how much I’ve put on, so I feel like there’s no point beating myself up!

Thanks so much for all the replies... @AntiHop I will try to stop looking at the scales, I know from previous body image struggles it actually never helps, whatever the number.

@RUOKHon I never thought of the weight gain in those terms, I was just horrified each time I got on the scales and the number had jumped up!

@83Mimi thanks for your message - it really resonated, this is exactly how I feel. Still trying to work on that mindset... it’s not easy when there’s so much change to cope with, and such loss of control. I hope your weigh in goes ok, i’ve taken lots of comfort from other people’s stories of their midwife experiences x

@jezza1234 and thanks for starting the thread - its nice to know I'm not the only one worrying about these things. I've generally struggled with anxiety in the run up to 12 week scan (now only a week away) I just keep catastrophising and am convinced will get bad news. It doesn't help that the COVID situation makes time go by so much slower without access to friends and activities

@83Mimi yes me too, lots of anxiety not helped by Covid and all the restrictions on seeing people and getting out of the house, also in my case made worse by trying to sell/buy a house... Good luck with the scan next week, mine’s also about the same time... I’m sure we’ll both be fine, catastrophising aside!

Had my scan and weigh in today, and it was completely fine. Midwife just looked at the number and said ‘great’, wrote it down and that was that...! Thanks all for the support😀