Anyone had an IVF baby . . . and then did it again?

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Hi everyone - DD is nine months old and the result of our fourth donor egg IVF attempt. We have two frozen embryos and for some reason I can't get them out of my mind. I really want to transfer them to see if we could be lucky again.

I'm afraid to, though. Having DD was like winning the lottery - we feel like the luckiest people in the world - so surely we wouldn't be so fortunate again. And I'm worried that if we do try again, all the barely-suppressed longing to have a sibling for DD would explode out and I'd be devastated if it didn't work . . .

So, I'd appreciate hearing from both sides, if anyone is willing to share their story - how it felt if an IVF attempt at a second baby failed, and if it was a lot easier to bear because you already have your precious first baby, or if it was a success and you actually did have a second baby . . . ?

Hi. I have two beautiful ivf babies. My first DS is 3 and my other DS is 16 weeks and lying fast asleep in my arms. My first DS was fresh transfer and I became pregnant first time. I then had a FET January last year and it didn't work, it didn't feel right to be honest so I kinda knew it wouldn't implant. I then had a full round again in September last year and I fell pregnant again first time with a fresh egg transfer. To be honest I didn't put pressure on myself for any of the ivf cycles because I just felt what will be will be. I understand though that other women find it very emotional and it causes them a lot of stress. 2nd full ivf cycle I knew I already had a wonderful little boy at home so if it didn't work then I was very grateful for at least having one child. It was also easier as I knew what to expect, especially as I had my treatment abroad.

I still have 3 good quality eggs frozen and they are on my mind, even though we have agreed no more children because of our ages and the toll the ivf takes on your body.

I had 4 attempts to have DS1 and then on first attempt conceived DD and DS2. was very happy, but also prepared that DS might be an only. nothing ventured nothing gained., don't overthink it

I'm currently pregnant with IVF baby number 1, due in November. We were incredibly lucky and it worked first time. We also have 3 embryos frozen from the same round of IVF, a part of me feels similar to you, that I would be pushing my luck for the next transfer to work too but at the very least we will try all 3 embryos for a sibling and we have discussed one further round of IVF as well as trying to fall pregnant naturally. I am 37 so we will probably draw a line after that.

At the very least I would want to try use my frozen eggs, I don't like the idea of them being destroyed without us trying.

Maybe I am overthinking . . . I do have a tendency to do this

I definitely think I'll transfer my two remaining embryos . . . and cross my fingers that it won't be such a raw, all-consuming sadness if it doesn't work. I don't think a failure in having a second would be anywhere near the pain of not being able to have the first, surely . . .

It's lovely reading about all the successes. Thank you!

Yes - we had a freeze all cycle and froze 4 blastocysts. I've had two FETs and have 2 DC as a result, with two blastos still in the freezer. Just made an appointment to see about a third...

We were delighted with one, doubly delighted with two, if we don't have another that's fine, we'll always feel like the luckiest people on the planet.

I'm pregnant with an ivf baby and right now I think never again. This was my last embryo after a failed transfer which was the worst pain. Basically I don't like who I am or how I feel doing ivf. Plus we'd not get nhs funding and it'd be about £10k for the treatment I need, I don't think I could justify that if I have a child.

DH says not to rule anything out though so who knows! If i still had embryos it would be a different story and I appreciate the struggle of not wanting to want it too much!

Thought of something else! One of biggest fears when the first one failed what that I have some awful unknown issues and it would never work. I do think having had success I'd maybe be more relaxed that it wasn't pointless and could work, so there that!

Gosh I’m struggling exactly with this, had my daughter from frozen embryo in 2017. We have 4 embryos. I’m now 44 and had a mc last year (surprise natural preg). I would never do Another IVF Cycle, but I feel I worked so hard to get those embryos I can’t leave them. And then my age! So hard.

We have DS from our first go. Like you, we feel so incredibly lucky, especially as we have 3 blasts in the freezer. We’re both very comfortable with DS being an only child but like pp, we feel we owe those blasts a chance. We have decided no more new cycles though.

I’d like to think that already having DS means there will be less pressure in the future but we may feel differently when the time comes. I know other couples on the infertility boards find it just as stressful giving their child a sibling.

We’re most likely going to. DS1 was conceived through IVF. It was five years ago, and as far as I can recall we didn’t really have any additional embryos that were good enough quality to freeze and keep. On the day there was one excellent quality and one good, and I think 3 kind of good? They transferred the excellent and good and we had a single birth. I then fell pregnant with DD naturally when DS was 1. We’ve been trying for baby 3 for over a year now, but since I’m nearly 40 and DH seems to have low speed count (which wasn’t the issue last time), we’re probably going to have to do IVF with ICSI. I kind of wish we had had embryos that we could used rather than going through the whole thing again from the beginning, but it is what it is, and at least this time I know what it’s like

I've had 2, both fresh embryo transfer although the 2nd was ICSI.

Yea, I'd definitely say the second proves and pregnancy was less stressful as I felt really lucky to have one.

The first was done in the UK. I had another failed attempt after this - same clinic. Hardly any eggs/embryos during the failed round. Clinic blamed my age (I was 40).

The next attempt, however, was successful. We were in a different country with my partner's job and thought we'd try one last time. Different drug protocol and did ICSI resulted in 6 grade A embryos (so not really a case of old eggs then). Two were transferred, one success and 4 were frozen.

I have two beautiful teenage daughters now.

I think it's fear of exposing ourselves to more pain. Those three unsuccessful attempts were difficult; and as I had some early bleeding with the fourth, I never really relaxed and enjoyed the pregnancy or believed I'd have an actual baby at the end of it.

I'm older too, @kos88 - I turn 41 this year, so will be at least 42 when we defrost our frozen embryos. I'm a bit concerned about the age factor but it's not something I can change so I'm just trying to be as fit and strong as I can.

Heartening to hear all the second BFP success stories!

I had 4 failed rounds and now pregnant with twins. I have 2 more top quality blastocysts frozen. Even now I feel sad about potentially never using them after all we went though to get them - multiple miscarriages, 2 ruptured ectopics. We fought so hard for them so to leave them behind is heartbreaking. But whilst I would chance it and transfer them after twins there is no way DH will agree 🤣
If we did transfer them though I wouldn't feel the same pressure for them to stick it would just be nice to give them a chance x

Thank you for taking the time to write about your experience, @EarlGreyT and @ivfbeenbusy

I think there's every chance the goalposts could move, if we transfer the remaining two embryos unsuccessfully. I would love to give DD a sibling, for her sake rather than ours, since we're older parents. I could well be tempted to do it all over again . . .

At least this time I won't have the psychological block of a nasty little voice in my head telling me I'll never be a mum!

We tried for 8 years for our miracle ivf daughter, with loads of issues on both sides. Currently pregnant naturally with baby number 2 after first month of trying it’s like pregnancy reset my body!

I've just come across this thread. Wondering if anyone has an update?
My little boy is 5 and a half months old and was conceived through icsi. I don't really want to go through the process again and we have no frosties sadly. We will likely try again for a year or two naturally (not impossible to conceive just highly unlikely). Who knows if I'll decide to go through it again or not!