Page 2 | Now that there's a second wave, would you send your toddler to nursery if you don't really need to?

whatdoido000 · 2020-09-25T11:48:15+00:00

Thanks for anyone who might have advice... I'm getting so anxious about my almost 3 year old needing more interaction with other children, but I'm pregnant and hence also extra anxious about not wanting to catch covid at this time. Nursery would involve having to take public transport too. What do others do when pregnant - avoid all covid risks, or more less carry on as normal (being sensible etc of course)?

Foreverbaffled · 25/09/2020 13:44

Oh gosh it’s a hard one isn’t it. I’m currently pregnant (30 weeks) and did send my nearly three year old back last month. This has been essential to allow me to keep working. However I go on annual leave and then straight into maternity leave in three weeks time so could technically have him home with me. But then again I’m desperate for a rest and some time to get things ready for the baby. I keep going back and forth and have decided to literally take it week by week and monitor the data. I live in a low risk area which helps. I probably will keep him in nursery (only two days per week) and take my chances. Pregnancy is on the vulnerable list but isn’t as high risk (statistically) as other medical groups listed (eg diabetics) so need to balance risk and benefit. My DS adores nursery and would hate to deprive him of that too.

Do what feels right for you. Good luck :)

Hardbackwriter · 25/09/2020 13:47

I think it really depends - will you feel comfortable and will you both be happy just doing outdoor activities with other children you know, etc? If so then I can't see the harm and it might make you feel less anxious to not have her at nursery. If the plan is to isolate more than that or if you think it won't be very happy if that's what you're doing then I think if you're first trimester now then it's a long time to be isolated for.

Original poster

whatdoido000 · 25/09/2020 13:55

Thank you so much @Foreverbaffled and @Hardbackwriter for your very helpful replies! Definitely happy to meet with other children locally, I guess that would help.
I'm trying to monitor the data too but so hard to know what the actual risk is with different activities, isn't it.

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randomsabreuse · 25/09/2020 14:08

Nope no pregnancy, just cold hard being tight about spending money for no actual purpose because snotty toddler is likely to be off nursery at least 50% of the time.

Most of DH's work would be impossible from home, DD would miss out on school so I feel that the likely impact (inconvenience of frequent testing plus doubling the risk of a burst school bubble) outweighs the benefit.

It doesn't help that we're in a local lockdown area in Scotland so contacts and their families have to self isolate for 14 days rather than just the person in contact.

Hardbackwriter · 25/09/2020 14:15

I'm not trying to persuade you to use nursery - as I said, I don't think there's a reason to if it'll make you anxious, your DD will be just fine without - but the 'they'll be constantly sent home so it's a waste of money' hasn't been my experience; DS has been back since June and hasn't been sent home or not been able to go in at all. He seems to be picking up less than previously, perhaps because of all the handwashing etc. Obviously it'll be different going into winter but his nursery is clear that just a snotty nose is fine, it's coughs and temperatures that aren't.

randomsabreuse · 25/09/2020 14:28

My nearly 2 year old is a November born boy who had bronchiolitis early on. He always gets either a temperature or a cough with a virus - made a massive drama out of Chickenpox and was coughing pretty well from September to mid April when lockdown finally gave him a break from viruses brought home by his sister/ from his own childcare.

We also have relocated so new germs won't help...

I wouldn't have removed him from an established childcare situation, but don't see the point in introducing one.

DC1's old school wasn't great for bugs, I think I managed about 4 weeks in the 2 terms that happened last academic year when both DC were fit for all scheduled school/childcare sessions! Mostly vomiting/diarrhoea bugs for DC1 to be fair, but some temperatures for DC2 while DC1 shrugged off the colds...

aToadOnTheWhole · 25/09/2020 14:29

@whatdoido000

Thank you *@aToadOnTheWhole* (and love your name

) that's reassuring to hear I guess that you're not worried and have been okay despite these risks.

Thanks 😁

Don't get me wrong, initially I was absolutely terrified. I know everyone says this but, I'm sure we had it early March before lockdown and before testing. And given that my DH works on the airport runs as well as all round a city centre it would seem fairly likely that it was given that we had classic symptoms.

So now it's more keeping out of everyone else's way who may be vulnerable if we passed it on unknowingly.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/09/2020 14:43

34 wks pregnant still sending my 3yr old in- I will give up every other interaction to keep her in nursery. I’m not scared for her health given the stats and am not overly worried about my own. I do think her socialising and learning is more important than most other things in our life.

Spark27 · 25/09/2020 14:44

I'm almost 40w pregnant and sending my DD for 2 days a week. She loves it and needs the interaction. And to be honest I need the space from her. The hygiene levels at the nursery are high and they are kept in bubbles. Shes not been sent home, and I've not heard of any suspected Covid there since she rejoined in July. DH is also going to work, so we could be exposed that way.

For me the biggest issue was both mine and her mental health. We need space apart from each other. And when the new baby comes I will need time just with the new baby, and also time to nap in the day while baby sleeps. I couldn't do this is she was home every day.

But ultimately its whatever works best for you and whatever you're happiest with xx

Original poster

whatdoido000 · 25/09/2020 15:24

Thanks everyone. Yes our nursery is really good with new hygiene measures too - I fully trust them. It's more the public transport I'm worried about. But should I worry about that so much as to deny DD the nursery, is the question.

@Hardbackwriter Thanks so much for saying I mustn't worry and DD will be fine even without nursery - I found that very reassuring to read. Maybe that's telling me I would be less anxious if I didn't send her - but just how do I then stop feeling anxious about damaging her development...

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thedifferentlive · 25/09/2020 15:33

@whatdoido000

Thanks everyone. Yes our nursery is really good with new hygiene measures too - I fully trust them. It's more the public transport I'm worried about. But should I worry about that so much as to deny DD the nursery, is the question.

@Hardbackwriter Thanks so much for saying I mustn't worry and DD will be fine even without nursery - I found that very reassuring to read. Maybe that's telling me I would be less anxious if I didn't send her - but just how do I then stop feeling anxious about damaging her development...

If she is nearly 3, doesn't that mean that she will go to the school nursery soon? Is that closer to you? If that is the case this might be the option.

Hardbackwriter · 25/09/2020 15:38

I really meant it - and DS has been in childcare since 9 months and nursery since 18 months, so I'm not saying this out of any sort of desire to justify not using nursery myself or anything. Until the 30 free hours came in a much bigger proportion of children didn't go to any form of childcare setting before school, and they were fine. Lots still don't. Nursery isn't necessary for development as long as you're getting out and about and they sometimes see other children (which is why I wanted to check that you would feel comfortable with that, and you said you would). There isn't one 'right' way to aid their develop and any child in a loving family that values their development, talks to them, gives them different experiences, etc will be fine and your DD clearly has a loving and interested mother

BingoGo · 25/09/2020 15:42

2nd wave where I'm from too (Denmark) and we just started sending our 1 Yr old twins to daycare (about 4 hrs a day Mon-Fri). Unless they recommend they stay home, they are going.

EssentialHummus · 25/09/2020 15:51

Not pregnant but keeping 3yo DD in. She really suffered from the lack of peer interaction during lockdown, and I suffered from the lack of a break. I’m anticipating a further lockdown so while it’s open, she’s going. I think I would have the same approach if pregnant.

MonkeyPuddle · 25/09/2020 15:57

DS is 3, I’m 36w pregnant and due to go in mat leave next week. We live in Leeds so are expected to go into local lockdown tonight.
I’ve had a wobble about it all, but we’ve decided that DS will still attend nursery 2 days a week, transmission rates between little ones is lower, nursery are shit hot on hygiene and the rest of the household will be keeping indoors/going for walks/doing the Asda click and collect only. If DP develops symptoms or has to self isolate when I go into labour then my mum will step in as my birth partner.
I am very much looking forward to a glass of wine when I’ve given birth!

BeMorePacific · 25/09/2020 16:00

My son has been back since mid August (Scotland), and it has done him the world of good.
I don’t need him to go to nursery, but he needs it. x

scarfy · 25/09/2020 16:02

I'm a SAHM but my toddler still attends. I pulled her out during the first wave but now that I know the risks are so low for children and the school is being very safe & careful I am ok with her attending.

Original poster

whatdoido000 · 25/09/2020 16:13

@Hardbackwriter Thank you so much!

@ everyone saying they still send their DC in - would you feel safe relying on public transport too, when pregnant?

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aToadOnTheWhole · 25/09/2020 16:44

@ everyone saying they still send their DC in - would you feel safe relying on public transport too, when pregnant?

Yes. Although I would be extra vigilant about hand washing. And when you get home I would probably say both of you get changed and have a stand up wash in the sink. But I've always done this with my DS after he finishes nursery since he started going anyway.

I said earlier DH works on public transport, he's still mostly stripping off and having a shower when he gets in, but we're not nearly as vigilant about this as we were. Stuff doesn't go straight in the wash on 60° etc anymore.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 25/09/2020 17:36

If I took public transport id still feel safe enough to go yes

violetclouds · 25/09/2020 19:48

I'm a stay at home mum to a 2 year old, currently 24 weeks pregnant & she's been going to nursery 2 mornings a week since beginning of September & loves it! Gives me a much needed break 😊 I'm not particularly worried about Covid though

Posturesorposes · 25/09/2020 19:50

My 8 month old goes daily and will continue to till the day they shut it down. Her brother will go to reception year daily till the day they shut it down. Spouse and I will continue to work FT till the day we absolutely must keep kids home to try to do work and childcare at the same time. Till the day we are forced to do this horrific simultaneous dual role we will use childcare and school FT second wave or not.

PolarBearStrength · 25/09/2020 21:55

I’m 34 weeks and 100% my toddler (2) is going to keep going to nursery unless they actually close. I am way too knackered to be doing more parenting than is strictly necessary right now. He’ll be doing two mornings per week whilst I’m on maternity leave too.

I work for the NHS. I’ve been ‘non-patient facing’ for the last 6 weeks but I’m still in the office with patient facing colleagues so tbh it probably makes very littler difference. I’m probably more of a risk to DS than he is to me currently.