Do not know what to do!!

[BrightOrangePenguin]

So just going to get straight to the point. I'm 42 almost 43, with an almost 23 year old and a 24 year old. My partner who is 34 says he doesn't want children and I believe that is mostly because I said I couldn't do it again so late and also I have chronic illnesses! I'm terrified of what my kids and family would say if I got pregnant! I'm terrified of being the 'old' mum! But I'm also feeling what if? Ohhh what do I do! I'm so confused! I know my partner would be absolutely over the moon but I'm just so scared!

Please if there is anybody with some positive stories about a later birth and what family and friends think - head is going round and round with all sorts of thoughts!

So are you hoping to get pregnant or worried that you are?

Are you actually pregnant or worried about a situation that hasn't happened?

This is all based on if I got pregnant. I just don't know if I could do it all over again, worried about what my kids and friends would think. It's on my mind so much cos I know he would be a brilliant dad...and I am terrified but I am coming around to the idea of it, I just do not know what I would say to my kids!

If he says he doesn’t want children I think this is a non issue. I don’t see why your getting worked up about getting pregnant if neither of you want to have a child.

@Oneandabean

If he says he doesn’t want children I think this is a non issue. I don’t see why your getting worked up about getting pregnant if neither of you want to have a child.

I agree, also is this an issue you're worrying about because he is 35? If he was 45 and said he didn't want children would you even be thinking about it?

I fully believe that he wants a child and that he was just agreeing with me as he doesn't want to lose me...I wasn't even thinking about anymore kids until we talked about it so said I couldn't do it again. All I was trying to find out is if anyone else ever had a similar situation and if it did happen what you would say to kids/family etc hence why I am torn...I'm also seeing more women that are older having children so was looking into what the experience is like? Having a baby nearly 23 years after the last? And I must admit I'm coming round to it but I'm just scared.

Are you going to ask him first? From your first post it sounds like you would get pregnant then he would be over the moon?

Surely you should ask him first??

At 42, you should be mature and wise enough to know it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about your life. Their opinions are irrelevant.

You really need to talk to him about it, he might genuinely not want children and if you work yourself round to the idea of another and he definitely doesn’t it could cause problems. Also it’s worth seriously considering the extra risks that come with having a baby later on.