When to tell work that your pregnant!?

[lilly02]

Hey!
I'm around 5 weeks pregnant but I don't know when to tell my work!
I'm a carer for the elderly with dementia so my job is really tough plus high risk!!
I don't want to tell them too early but I don't want to keep using hoists and looking after challenging residents who could hurt me!
What do I do?
What did you all do and how long did you wait?
Many thanks x

I told my boss when I was about 2 months pregnant. I kept catching every big going (I usually never caught anything) and was suffering (not morning sickness just with all the bugs and bit being able to take anything).

He was really happy, gave me a hug and said he was delighted.

I waited until 12 weeks. But then I have a office job that is entirely WFH at the moment. I also didn't have bad morning sickness or other pregnancy-related illness.
I think if there is the potential to be harmed you might need to speak to your line manager confidentially.

Personally, in your situation I would tell them sooner rather than later.

The issue is that they can't put extra precautions in (over and above normal H&s risk assessments) until you let them know about your pregnancy.

Is there a manager plus a couple of co-workers you can trust? Manager to risk assess and the co-workers who can help you keep your secret?

@Iliketeaagain

Personally, in your situation I would tell them sooner rather than later.

The issue is that they can't put extra precautions in (over and above normal H&s risk assessments) until you let them know about your pregnancy.

Is there a manager plus a couple of co-workers you can trust? Manager to risk assess and the co-workers who can help you keep your secret?

I wish it would be kept a secret but unfortunately in the place I work by the next day the staff and residents would have found out the news 🤣 If I told them they would really help me and I would be put on light duties. I just don't want to risk telling them and then something goes wrong! What a dilemma lol

@SerenityNowwwww

I told my boss when I was about 2 months pregnant. I kept catching every big going (I usually never caught anything) and was suffering (not morning sickness just with all the bugs and bit being able to take anything).

He was really happy, gave me a hug and said he was delighted.

Aw that's lovely, I'm glad your boss was happy and it went well for you!

@lilly02 I'd tell them. If something goes wrong now the chances are you'd want/need time off anyway and if news travels fast then they'd all know something had gone wrong before you were back so you wouldn't need to explain to people yourself

@wigglerose

I waited until 12 weeks. But then I have a office job that is entirely WFH at the moment. I also didn't have bad morning sickness or other pregnancy-related illness. I think if there is the potential to be harmed you might need to speak to your line manager confidentially.

Confidentiality doesn't exist in my place of work! It's so annoying. I know if I tell them other people would find out. That's the problem. But my job is really heavy. I have to hoist 100 kg residents plus personal care is really tough with challenging residents. I'm not sure what I should do x

[quote Welliedays]@lilly02 I'd tell them. If something goes wrong now the chances are you'd want/need time off anyway and if news travels fast then they'd all know something had gone wrong before you were back so you wouldn't need to explain to people yourself[/quote]
Yes that's very true, my next scan is Wednesday, if everything goes well I will tell them. Thankyou!

I think it would be best to tell them now, I know it's early but you want to be safe and that's the best way for them to support you.

My manager knew at about 5 weeks as she knew I was having ivf, she's just shared with my director this week at 9 weeks for resource planning purposes. But I've asked it to be kept private otherwise, hopefully I can announce properly at 12 weeks

I waited till 20 weeks the first tine and 24 weeks the second. I'd want at least the 12 week scan first.

I told my line manager the day after I found out as I work in a lab and they needed to do a risk assessment. I told some of my colleagues as the changes to what I could work on made it obvious and they had guessed anyway. I made the decision to tell people when the easiest explanation is the truth. A friend of mine couldn't work in the lab from the time she found don't she was expected. she made the decision not to tell her colleagues and they gave her hassle for not doing her job properly. I was wary about ending up in this position too but it's a personal preference thing. I didn't tell family and friends until much later though

I think legally your line manager had to keep it confidential if you ask them to, but I agree you should tell them sooner rather than later

Your line manager is breaking the law if they disclose it to others. You could remind them of this when you tell them? Eg "i do not want any of the staff to know about this. I'm sure you wont tell anyone, especially because it's illegal to tell other people my private medical information, but just wanted to say it!"

At 5 weeks so I could WFH and because I have HG. I’m now signed off sick at 10 weeks with HG. I’m pretty sure most of my colleagues know too.

I told my line manager in confidence at around 11 weeks as a work situation meant he needed to know. I told HR etc at around 23 weeks. Sounds like your work need to know sooner rather than later though.

With a high risk job sooner is better as they need to do a risk assessment. If you tell your boss in confidence they are not allowed to tell anyone else without your consent. If they do than you can make a formal complaint.
It’s better that you can work safely rather than do more than you should and something happens

OP, I don't think you need to tell them before 12 weeks honestly.

I appreciate you've a tough, physical job but there's no additional risk in early pregnancy.

It's when you've more of a bump, and that physical element of your work becomes challenging, that you need a change in duties.

Also, it's unacceptable that there's no confidentiality about personal matters in your workplace. Definitely not a 'lol' situation.

I'm horrified that there's no confidentiality. You really need advice on that.

I told my manager at about 6 weeks. They did the required risk assessment and sent me home at 8 weeks as I was deemed to be high risk as it's impossible for me to social distance.

@EarringsandLipstick my job involves heavy lifting I told them straight away as the hormone that relaxes your joints is present from the beginning and if your lifting heavy things there’s a risk of injury to yourself more than the baby.

I told my manager and other office colleagues after 20 week scan :-)
But legally, you should tell before 15 weeks of due date (as in the MATB form), nothing later than that. Anytime before that is okay.

Its best to tell them as soon as possible. By law she cannot disclose it to others and if she doesn't you can put a complaint and push further.
In regards to using a hoist, you will still be able to use one, and roll patients/service users in bed. You can lift up to 25kg and the action of lifting is a risk for women, not the baby. You won't necessary be put on light duties, you will just need to ensure you are not working in challenging areas and have access to regular breaks.

@lilly02 I was just coming on to ask the same question.

I'm 4 weeks pregnant. I work in direct care job too. It feels wrong to tell work before we tell our family, doesn't help that my manager is new and I don't know her.