Just when I thought everything was gonna be ok 😔

[Jazzy1990]

Hey everyone, due end of September and started thinking everything is looking good regarding the Covid restrictions with birthing partners. They started letting partners in for scans and I just know they are going to stop this again due to the rise in infections and birthing partners won’t be allowed in till your 4cm dilated. I’m a FTM and feel like I won’t be able to cope without my partner there, already so anxious about birth and on top of that this. Just so angry at everything.

@GunsAndShips such a lonely time and as women we are so prone to pre natal and post natal depression and this situation we are having to go through is not making anything easier. I’m praying to God I have a good and easy labour and delivery don’t know how how my mental state would be afterwards if it was to be horrific. I’m sorry you had such a horrific experience first time around :(

I feel exactly the same. Having a section mid Nov and terrified DH wont be allowed in at all or will have to leave immediately. My trust is super strict and partners still arent allowed in for scans for appointments.

I have a very severe needle phobia and going through a section without him has me crying about it most days to be honest. I just cannot understand how pregnant women are allowed to be treated in this way.

I was also talking to my lovely midwife about pnd as if we are in a proper lockdown again I fear I am at higher risk of it. She warned me they are already seeing higher rates of pnd and that she is worried it is only going to get worse if restrictions continue.

What a complete shit show

It's definitely shit isn't it! I'm due in January and hoping for a C-section. Where I am partners still aren't allowed in scans or waiting rooms. Personally I quite like this aspect because the waiting room isn't clogged up with people who bring their entire family along. Sorry I know that sounds dickish but I like to have somewhere to sit! It's different for me though as I've had to have scans and operations alone previously so not a ftm, it would be incredibly shit and I understand.

Obviously I would like my husband to be there and so would he. I wish they would let you record a minute or so of the scan in these circumstances but oh well.

Does anyone know if you have to isolate and test before a c section? I've heard you may have to before major operations. I can't seem to find any clarification on this for planned c sections.

Am in a similar position, ftm due beginning of January, am starting to really think now that we may be in full lockdown by then and DH will have to miss most of the labour. This had been a tough time on dads I think, what with missing scans and appointments and parts of labour, and of course on their partners too who could have used the support. I'm very grateful that dh was able to come to my 20 week scan and know a lot of couples haven't had that.

I know I'll cope without him if he can't be there for the whole thing, but I don't want to have to if you see what I mean. I'll be more comfortable and at ease with him around, and the idea of him sitting in the car outside anxious and not really knowing what's going on is just so sad. If there was an emergency before 4cm and I had to be rushed for a CS, he wouldn't know till it was all over I suppose

Anyway, lots of hugs for all those in a similar position.

Just a word from experience - I gave birth in the middle of June. I was one until they had a delivery room for me, dh was at home but we only live 10 mins from the hospital. I just took the ipad and watched some Netflix. Once the said there was a delivery room available I phoned dh and he arrived and met me in the room, i had my waters broken as was 8cm and they hadn't gone yet - DS arrived within a couple of hours and the midwife left us alone in the room for about an hour afterwards. DS was born at 6:40pm, dh didnt leave until 9ish, when we were taken to the ward. We slept on and off overnight and were discharged at 10am the next morning. Dh had got a full night's sleep which meant when we got home he took the baby for a few hours while I bathed and caught up on sleep too (maternity wards are WARM!) it really was absolutely fine.

I'm starting to worry about this too, ftm due Jan and by the looks of it things will be stricter by then.. We live about 45 minutes from the hospital so I'm worried about waiting too long to go in but also don't want to go early and be sent away.

I gave birth 3 weeks ago.
I'll be honest my experience wasn't great. I was induced, my partner could only visit between the hours of 2-8pm, so he could not support me during the induction process. My waters went less than 24 hours later. I informed the midwife and despite me having contractions closely together, it was 3 hours before I was physically examined. The majority of this time I was alone, in agony and ignored. I was rushed to the labour ward when I was 8cm dilated, begging for an epidural due to pain. I was asked to ring my own partner to make his way. Luckily he was nearby because I told him how much pain I was in. I had a traumatic birth, baby was back to back as well as other complications. Luckily I gave birth in the afternoon so my partner was able to come to the postnatal ward as visiting hours were 2-8pm. I found it very difficult to look after baby on my own that first night. I've had other complications, for which I was left for several days untreated. As a result I spent longer in hospital plus Covid restrictions, it made what should have been an exciting time utterly miserable.
Plus add staff shortages into the mix
But hopefully this is just my trust.

I know how you feel op. I’m week 38 and have only just been diagnosed with gestational diabetes yesterday, so I have gone my whole pregnancy being low risk literally until the time I could give birth any moment and now have moved into a higher risk category. So my chances of being able to be home until 4cm dialated and having the water birth and hopefully quick discharge from hospital has been greatly reduced, as there is now a deadline on me going into labour naturally. Although that may still be possible I am now facing possibly beIng induced which I will have to be alone until 4cm (Induction is something I’m personally very against and really dont want) or c section where I will have to be in hospital for a few days after with my DP not being allowed in.

So yeah, i relate to your anger and upset!

I wasn't even allowed into the hospital until I was 4cm dilated so this is quite normal

@RWK29 I’m also in Scotland, can I just ask where you got your info about partners only being allowed to stay 30 minutes after birth?
I’m in early pregnancy anyway but wouldn’t like to think my partner would have to leave so quick..

@Queenbee95 That was what was in place during the main lockdown in my area - I know all areas were slightly different. I had friends who gave birth during the height of the pandemic. I believe it was 30-60 minutes then they had to leave and mum and baby were moved back to the ward

@RWK29 thanks for that. I’m not due till next May so here’s hoping we are out of the Covid danger zone by then!

@London91 please tell me where you have birth ? Was it Royal London ? That’s where I am. I don’t know how I’ll be able to mentally hack what you been through, I’m sorry to have to say this but I most likely would start swearing and shouting due to the pain and agony and being treated like that!

@Queenbee95 Fingers crossed all is fine by the time you have baby 🤞🏼 And I hope your appointments aren’t too affected by everything!

I’m due in 6 weeks so no idea what kind of restrictions will be in hospitals at that time. But after today’s announcement we can no longer have family round to our house to meet baby after the birth 😔

I m due next month and despite being in a local lockdown area they ve removed some restrictions but I know 5 weeks is enough time for it to change back.

I m hoping to use the midwife unit which has quite a quick turnaround for discharging you but if I can't I ve had a frank conversation with my DH that if we end up having to go to the postnatal ward and I m in the situation where they re short staffed and can't help me in a reasonable time frame when needed that I would be considering self discharging. Knowing he respects that I may make that decision if there's not enough support in the hospital has helped me anxiety a lot ( I ve had a few poor mums tell me they've had half an hour waits after passing a buzzer for pain relief or to have help to lift their babies and feed them so the thought of being in that situation as a FTM scares me a whole lot more than labour itself does).

@xxxemzyxxx I would not want to be induced either, heard horror stories regarding that pain. Imagine being Induced and still not having your husband there :(

@FilthyforFirth I am sure they won’t let you go through a c section by yourself. If you’re having one you must be entitled to call your partner there straight away.

The day I was due to be induced, my waters broke at midnight, I had struggled through the night being told it would take hours possibly days and to stay at home as long as possible. By the time I got to hospital at half 7am, I was 10cm dilated. I'm not saying it'll be that easy, I just wanted to point out that they prefer to keep mum's at home for as long as possible instead of rushing in the moment your waters go, or contractions start. You'll hopefully be way past the 4cm point before you get there. 💗
Also, I really hope it's all changed by December, otherwise I'll be having my 20 week scan alone 😕

I thought most women dont go in to hospital until they're in active labour at around 4cm anyway. I know at mine they dont ask you to come in until the contractions are regular and frequent (I cant remember the frequency, but fewer than 10 minutes apart I'm sure). So spend the early part of labour for as long as you can at home before going to the hospital. Then it will probably not be long before you're 4cm and your husband will be allowed back in.

@Jazzy1990 the hospital isn't Royal London, so please don't panic. I suspect some of what happened to me was bad luck, but Covid and staff shortages made a bad situation worse.