Gender Disappointment

[Helpmeplan2020]

I know this is a taboo subject. If you are going to be offended please don’t read on. I’m finding this a struggle as it is and I don’t need the judgements of others. My feelings are real and valid.

I have just had 20w scan. There are no concerns and I am happy with that, however I am really disappointed that i am having a boy. For various reasons. I have 2 girla
and would love to have another. My girls
are really lovely and considerate. Boys in my family generally have autism/ ADHD and I am terrified of this. I haven’t bonded with this pregnancy and have anti natal Depression so today’s news has been really hard.
I really wish I didn’t feel like this.
Has anyone ever felt like this and how did you overcome it?

Actually girls are harder to diagnose.

I think it’s best to be open when you fall pregnant don’t expect anything other than a healthy baby. There’s only 50/50 when it comes to it anyway it’s not as though there’s a lot of choice.
I never hoped for a boy or a girl.

My friends mother went out buying blue for her daughter before having the gender scan... she was convinced it was a boy. Until they found it was a girl my best friend was really upset about it. I honestly think there’s an element of ungratefulness! Especially when it’s your first baby.

Echoing what others have said re boys being a delight. I wasn't fussed on the sex of my first and we didn't find out. I had my son three years ago and all of my friends that had babies ended up having daughters. They are all v similar when young but truth be told, I'd choose a boy ten fold if given the choice again. I am the centre of his universe, and he is mine.

Two autistic girls here...

All I'm saying is don't get hung up on it...previously male dominated ASD, doesn't mean girls can't be diagnosed with it...Please love you're
baby...💓💓💓

Sorry you're feeling like this. I have a boy and a girl, boys are such a bundle of joy. They're so affectionate and loving when they're young. I'm pretty confident that when you give birth you will fall in love with you're little man and it won't really matter to you. Don't panic too much about illnesses, there's nothing to say that your little man doesn't have every chance that he will be illness free x

I don't think this is a gender disappointment issue, it sounds more like a pre natal depression and anxiety issue that's manifesting itself in a certain way.

Leaving aside that autism is not the end of the world and children with it can still be a tremendous blessing to their families...

Boys are wonderful. You have no reason to believe your baby isn't perfect in every way.

I suggest you talk to your doctor about how you are feeling though as there are so many treatment options, there's really no need to feel as you do.

@helpmeplan2020 sorry to hear this. Could there be a small factor that you maybe don't even realise that you'd rather it's a girl because you know what to do with girls.. And it's almost a bit like the unknown of having a boy? I know it's so hard but try and focus on the positives