To announce or not?

[Jinga]

So first time mum to be and I'm very much aware things can go wrong but I'd like to think positively if possible.
Work know I'm pregnant, family know I'm pregnant and 1 set of close friends know. I'm finding myself with loose lips in work as I'm struggling to hide the weird behaviour like constantly eating to avoid nausea and vomiting, looking like death/hungover due to how shit I feel etc. I'd rather people know than talk about me behind my back. I am telling those who I tell to keep it quiet but I know how gossip spreads so I'm under no illusion that other people don't know.
If things turn out not to be fine at my scan in roughly a weeks time then it is what it is, I'll have to ride it out.
But... If things are great I'd like to do the announcement scan photo thing on social media (I know it's not everyone's cup of tea). But should I hold off until a few more weeks/ months have passed? Is there any point holding off if those I see more often already know?
What would you do?
What did you do?

Most people wait til the 12 week scan (guessing that’s the one in a week or so) as after that the odds are in your favour that all will be well. A scan picture and telling people is a pretty normal thing to do! Congrats

Scan photos on Facebook are really difficult for many people.

Announce if you want but leave the photo off.

You haven't said how far along you are? I announced after my 12 week scan but I know some people prefer to wait a little longer.

Thanks. 11 weeks. I know scan pics aren't everyone's cup of tea, been there myself but I think I want to do it xx

We didn’t tell anyone until 13wks then told a few friends and family in person, then put 12wk scan picture on social media. We had an earlier NIPT scan but didn’t share that.

I announced my first 2 with a scan pic at 12 weeks, pretty normal thing to do. If people find it difficult they can always unfollow you, I wouldn't hide it away if you want to tell people. I'm yet to announce my 3rd pregnancy at 18 weeks but it's because our 2 other children are at an age where they get what's going on so we want to have the 20 week scan to check all is well before telling them.

If you want to announce it do it, the only reason you might hold off is waiting for antenatal screening results or like us the 20 week scan where organs etc are checked in more detail.

I won't announce until 20 weeks to my wider circle - its probably more like 24 weeks this time as I'm having twins and as this is the cut off for hospitals intervening to save a baby if something went wrong

I guess I'm more cautious because I've previously had a missed miscarriage identified at a 12 week scan and I know people who either had bad news at the 20 week scan or lost their babies between 12 and 20 weeks

I've lost several pregnancies so painfully aware that not every pregnancy ends in being able to take a healthy baby home

I would also be mindful of who is in your social media friendships group before posting - for some baby scan photos can be upsetting but I would be "that" person for many people on my social media and I'm always happy to see other people's good news. But not everyone is like that

@ivfbeenbusy yeah I found it tough recently, I honestly got jealous at how easy others fell pregnant even the less health conscious so just unfollowed for a while. I fully expect the same treatment and that's ok with me.

I say recently, like in the past 12 months.

For me I think if your pregnant your pregnant!!! I have experienced a miscarriage back in 2009 and am now 4 weeks pregnant and quite a lot of my friends, family and work colleagues are aware. All we can do is hope it goes well! Covid makes things more awkward for not announcing for me as I work for nhs so have to inform them and have risk assessments etc. Xx

Congratulations @meemooxxx yes May as well enjoy each opportunity xxx

I waited until after my 20 week scan to confirm everything is okay with the baby. I didn’t share my scan photos with anyone. No one needs to see pictures of the inside of my uterus.

I told most people I talked to as soon as I found out with all my kids. I think it's a personal thing and there's no right or wrong. Thankfully I've never had a loss so I don't know how I would have felt telling people if I did, but I used to say " I'm pregnant but it's very early days" and most people understand.

Personally the scan picture doesn’t bother me any more than any other type of pregnancy announcement. Pregnancy announcements in general (regardless of how they are done) were painful for me after my miscarriage. However I still went ahead to announce both my pregnancies on social media, although I do have a small social media following and most of my friends found out in person !!!

At 11 weeks I would have no issues telling friends or work colleagues as long as you are okay telling people the bad news if anything goes wrong .

Congratulations ☺️

@ivfbeenbusy just a heads up you will look very pregnant by 20 weeks!! Lots of luck to you all

My first was a twin which ended in VTS. I didn’t “officially announce” until I was 34 weeks, had him at 36.

My second I announced around 17 weeks after I had a gender scan.

Unsure when to announce this time around, everyone who we want to know, already do, only 8 weeks just now though.

The people I wanted to know knew immediately, wider family at 20 weeks. Social media “announcement” - a picture of me with bump was at 28 weeks.

This has been really helpful thanks Xx

I'm 38w and I haven't announced on social media. Of course friends and family know. Planning to announce birth though.

Also a bonus of not announcing is that when some old friends are asking what's new I get to break the news to them and get congratulations all throughout my pregnancy and not all in one go :)
Bonus to announcing is that friends may offer to hand down baby things.

@Viletta I do plan on announcing but just not sure when. I remember feeling hurt by what I thought were close friends not disclosing they were pregnant. I know it was totally their call but it felt a bit off, and funny and it did change the relationship as we'd shared so much before but maybe they wanted to change it.

@Jinga I think it's fine not to disclose pregnancy especially if there is a factor and you're not sure what's going to happen. It's a personal choice and you should do what feels right for you and for people around you.