Would you consider an assisted birth

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Or would you opt for a c section instead?

I don't know enough about assisted births but they don't sound very pleasant!

An assisted birth gave me a uterine prolapse at 21, I've never suffered from incontinence but the prolapse is a nuisance and I'm considering a hysterectomy at the moment.

Hi @NameChange30 - just to point out that I literally used the word "anecdotal" in my own post, and made absolutely zero claim that it was a representative sample, so I'm not sure why you felt the need to pull me up! :)

My point is and was that we were a group of 8 well-informed FTMs and none of us, in any of our prep or research or reading, had been told of the potential for long-term, life-altering maternal injuries - let alone that it could happen to half of us! And the fact that these injuries have a vanishingly small chance of occurring with an ELCS is, I'd hazard a guess, why most female obstetricians choose that method.

Some (not cheery but I believe) important reporting on this, for more context than my 'anecdota'!

I had ventouse with an episiotomy. They made sure my epidural was working well first so I didn't feel anything. I was up and walking 30 minutes later and my recovery wasn't painful. My daughter had a cone shaped head for a few hours and screamed for most of her first 12 hours except when I was breastfeeding her. I would prefer things didn't go that way this time but I'd prefer ventouse again to a caesarean. I have heard forceps are worse than ventouse.

A consultant was brought in to assess me, labour over 25 hours, stuck at 9cm, baby back to back, fetal monitor on baby's scalp due to bleeding heavily, head in awkward position, lip on cervix still felt. He suggested epidural, pitocin drip to fully dilate me and high forceps rotation to turn my son.

Whilst he was discussing this with whoever was behind him, my midwife lent over to my and Dh and said request a section now. Do not do the forceps delivery. At this point Ds crashed his oxygen levels and I was rushed to theatre for an EMCS which I am incredibly grateful for. Ds2 was ELCS.

I would rather have pain and stitches across my stomach than between my legs. I listened to Radio 4 Woman's Hour podcast in October about birth injuries and 1 in 10 women suffer faecal incontinence after a vaginal delivery, that is higher with FTM. It is something women just don't admit to, many will admit to urinary incontinence. Very sad.

I am against forceps and haven’t had them but I was doubly incontinent after an emcs and I only got to 7cm. Which was unexpected. It did all resolve itself within a few months but sometimes I do have to move fast to a loo. I delivered normally recently and have no issues.
My mother had two emcs and does leak urine exactly the same as her sister who delivered normally.

I was doubly incontinent after an emcs and I only got to 7cm

I think there’s a lot that can also go wrong that’s not talked about with CS. Trying to get info on adhesions is not easy, and the more CS you have, the more chances of adhesions.

Still rather that than forceps ...

My mother had two emcs and does leak urine exactly the same as her sister who delivered normally.

Late pregnancy itself causes quite a lot of damage to the pelvic floor - it's not just giving birth that's the problem.

I had ventouse delivery and it was fine. I was way too close to the end for a c section I imagine and can’t imagine at that point having to go into theatre etc. I just wanted the baby out. Small cut and then he was out in a minute. No long term damage or anything and in lots of ways a much better experience than my second which was completely natural