Hi, just after some advice or encouragement really. Coming to mumsnet because I don't feel I have anyone I can talk to about this.
I've suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and had postnatal depression after both my pregnancies, but always felt happy while pregnant. I'm now 37 weeks with my 3rd and feel like utter shit. Honestly, just making it through each day is my goal at the moment. I don't have the headspace for anything else.
I feel so bad for my two kids because I'm not present at all and my patience levels are at an all time low so they're getting the brunt of my frustration. I'm also panicking about how I'll be able to cope with the 3 of them when baby arrives if I still feel like this.
I spend most of the day crying or feeling really agitated and frustrated. My mind is like a complete blur, like there's a literal fog in there stopping it from functioning. I'm really tired and in pain all the time from the pregnancy which isn't helping, I just want to spend all day sleeping or sitting doing nothing. I also have a massive fear this time of the baby being stillborn and I think about it every day, dream about it. It's horrible.
I really don't want to go to the doctor, so I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope or drag myself out of this hole?