What do you tell your work when you have to go to appointments?

[Cafeaulait27]

Before they know you’re pregnant.

I’m 5 weeks and know I will have appointments coming up and possibly blood tests, I work full time in an office and haven’t got any holiday left.

Just wondered if people just say they have a doctors appointment and don’t say anything else, knowing that it will probably make people suspicious that you’re pregnant?

Just say drs appointment, they don’t have any rights to know what for

I work in a school so we need to have proof of appointments so I've had to tell my deputy head but ive asked her to keep it confidential.

I didn’t have any early appointments but I’d just say doctors appointments. But you have a protected right to time off for maternity appointments so if you run into issues might be best to just say.

I told them the truth but I had already told them for health and safety reasons. I had quite a few appointments in the first trimester to make sure we had an appropriate plan to manage a preexisting condition so it was to my advantage they knew as I didn't have to make up the time for pregnancy appointments but I would have done for general medical appointments.

It probably will make people suspicious but nobody can do anything on a suspicion. Your employer can't start treating you differently becuase someone might think you might be pregnant.

I'm in a similar situation to you! I think I'm just going to say blood tests and leave it at that - doctors aren't doing face to face appointments in our city so I can't use that excuse. I don't want to tell work before we tell our families.

Yeah, I’ve just been given my booking appointment which will be at our home in 3
Weeks time. Think I am going to wait until a few days before and then tell them I have a doctors appointment, and can I work from home that day as the appointment is in the middle of the day. They might get suspicious but I’ll be 8 weeks by then, so will only be hopefully another 4 Weeks before I can tell them (after 12 week scan). I think if any of my closer colleagues press me I will say it’s a pill check up?

Due to covid, I told my employers I'm pregnant very early and there was no problem with time off for my booking appointment or when I was suffering with morning sickness.

I’m not thinking there will be a problem as such as I know it’s illegal for them to do that, however there have been instances of pregnant women or women with children being treated unfairly (made redundant, passed over for promotion, not taken seriously) on an unofficial level. So as the company is going through a tough time right now, and redundancies are a possibility, I just don’t want them to get a whiff that I’m pregnant until after 12 weeks. I’m also worried about telling them and then losing the baby ☹️

I actually took annual leave, I had loads and didn't want to mention it at all even though you have protected time off.

Could you request you work from home as you have some sort of appliance being delivered or there's something wrong with your boiler and that's the only day they could book someone in to come check it/service it?

I took a day of annual leave for my 12 week scan because I had loads of holiday anyway. Then told work after the scan was fine and other appointments haven’t been a problem.

@Itwasntme101 great idea! I’ll pretend I have a dishwasher coming or something ☺️

I used to have a nosy manager, if i said I'd be popping out for a doctors appointment (never a problem) and he'd always ask 'what's up with you?'.
Started to say that I was going to the dentist - no one ever asks any more questions!

My friends and I have blamed a bad back or low blood pressure for avoiding tasks that are not suitable when secretly expecting (if they are of any use). Low BP fitted in well when I said I was going for a blood test soon after (ie my booking appt).

I told my school I had a medical appt at such n such time. They didn't ask or require evidence of the appt.

I did tell my Head 3 days before my 12w scan because behaviour deteriorated for a child in my class, lashing out and throwing furniture, so I needed/wanted a risk assessment done ASAP!!

I told my boss the morning I did the test. I’m not particularly close with her but I’m working from home and I had been away from my desk for ages dealing with the shock and when I got back to my desk she had been messaging me asking where I’d been. I sort of just blurted it out, she was actually really nice and shocked but happy for me. I was worried she would be a bit of mouthpiece but I don’t think she’s told anyone(probably more than her jobs worth)
But I don’t see anything wrong with telling your boss right away. Especially if things go wrong they are there for you and understand. But that’s just me.

I told my boss quite early on - 7 weeks I think I was - she kept it confidential but was easier than lying about things like booking appointments/bloods etc

I told my head (teacher) because I was trying to arrange time off for a midwife appointment and an early scan. I had put in the forms but only said medical appointment. Whether the appointment is with the doctor or at the hospital changes whether or not we get the time off as paid. It was just easier to tell her the truth than make something up.

She only told people she needed to for risk assessment purposes. She congratulated me and then never mentioned it until I had told others.

I once used a fictional dentist appointment as an excuse, otherwise I just took annual leave days.

I told work quite early on for health and safety reasons (and I was tired and sick so at least my supervisor knew why!) but also if I’d had a miscarriage before 12 weeks I’d probably have taken a few days off and told her anyway so I didn’t feel a need to wait until 12 weeks - obviously won’t be the case for everyone though.

Last year I told my work early thinking it would help ease my workload. It didn't help at all, and then I lost the pregnancy at 12 weeks. My manager had recently gone on maternity leave, and her maternity cover was so bad they sacked him on the spot one day. Before hiring him they had asked if I would do it if they couldn't find someone. When he left they didn't replace him and I would have been the obvious choice but they never asked me. I think it was 100% because they knew I was pregnant. I ended up really wishing I had never told them, it didn't help at all it just ruined my chances of temporary promotion. You can just say you have lots of doctors appointments they don't need to know.

I just said Doctor's appointment and my manager (male) didn't ask more. I think if pressed I'd have either said it was personal, or re-used something benign I've had before, like Anaemia or joint pain.

The only appointments I've had (older first time mum) is a 12 week scan and 20 week scan. I had my first face to face (28 week appointment) on Friday. Other than that ive had two 5 minute phone calls, a booking in one and a 16 week appointment on a Saturday.