Process at hospital with partners etc

[Miss2820]

Hi Ladies

What is the process at the hospitals
Now regarding ur partner staying with you after birth and even before? I know maybe each hospital is different but I’ve heard different stories

You are right OP. They are all different.
I've just changed hospitals where my DH can now stay with me for a few hours after having baby and he can also come back and visit if i need to stay in.
The hospital I changed from kick the partners out pretty much as soon as you've had baby, no visiting and they have to wait outside for you once you're discharged!
There are others where partners can stay for hours and hours. You will need to check out your own hospital and see what the restrictions are as some are now starting to allow partners back in for your scans

Yeah our local hospital has changed twice what they are doing, I’m not due until January but just wanted to read what everyone else has experienced..our hospital has only from last week let partners in for 12 and 20 week scan and that’s it.

Just a bit nervous being on my own once I’ve had the baby and my husband has to leave especially as I’m planning to have a c section so I know how difficult it can be after etc and I remember with my first it was nice to have somone there to help etc

Anything could happen between now and January. Nearer the time your midwife will be able to discuss what the rules are for your hospital.

Well fingers crossed things are a little more relaxed by January OP.
I'm a FTM and lost count of how many melt downs I've had of being on my own. I've done everything on my own right from the start pretty much. Every scan, every hospital appointment, it's been really sad and it's broke my heart as DH has just been left out of the equation.
Whilst I totally understand why, it doesn't make our worries go away or make us feel better does it!

DH was allowed to stay with me until I was ready to leave labour ward. Ended up being 6hrs after I was stitched, had tea and toast and our baby was ready to be seen as was taken straight to NICU.

You will have to check your hospital nearer the time. I would prepare for the worst so you aren’t disappointed. My original hospital was no visiting and birth partner from active labour to 1 hour after delivery. Where I ended up giving birth allowed DH from when they broke my waters thankfully until we left labour ward, about 4 hours, he was then allowed back for 2 hours later in the day. So a wonderful surprise, this was August though so things can and will change by January.

Thanks ladies

I totally understand things can change especially now as the virus is peaking again so I woudnt be surprised if things do change I know currently at my hospital visiting is 2-7 but has to be only one person and has to be the same person cannot change the person during visiting hours, but no one can stay which is understandable.. but it’s just nice to know you have someone there to help you and give you some support

I'm having twins and a c section. I've been told DH can stay until I'm in recovery and then that's it - not allowed on the ward and no visiting hours - I'm really panicked about having twins and c section recovery on my own. I can't change hospitals as I have to have them at one specific one which has the twin consultants on site

@ivfbeenbusy

I'm having twins and a c section. I've been told DH can stay until I'm in recovery and then that's it - not allowed on the ward and no visiting hours - I'm really panicked about having twins and c section recovery on my own. I can't change hospitals as I have to have them at one specific one which has the twin consultants on site

Jesus that sounds awful. They do realise that you’re a person, and that you haven’t done anything wrong? I would kick up a right stink if it was me. You’re having a baby, not being admitted to prison

@ivfbeenbusy

I'm having twins and a c section. I've been told DH can stay until I'm in recovery and then that's it - not allowed on the ward and no visiting hours - I'm really panicked about having twins and c section recovery on my own. I can't change hospitals as I have to have them at one specific one which has the twin consultants on site

What?? Are you being serious..that’s really not on the hospital should at least let your partner around for a bit while you settle.. I just remember from last time when I had an emergency c section my husband stayed and it was great to hve the help I was in a lot of pain I really don’t know how they expect you to recover and get on with it

I just had Ds2 on Wednesday with a planned c section, my sister was allowed into theatre with me and stay while I was in recovery then had to leave when I went up to the ward. Luckily I was allowed home the next day but if I was kept in she would of been given a half an hour slot to visit per day I was in.

I had an emergency section with Ds1 and was kept in for a week after for being so unwell but the recovery has been much better this time and the midwifes were great, hopefully things are better come January for you.

@Miss2820 @rincewindspotato

I know! I'm in the West Midlands where cases are rising too so I can't see them changing their policy any time soon.

They've said they are trying to get c section people out within 24 hours but I'm worried about that too as don't want to feel rushed out plus have heard some community midwives aren't coming round to check c sections are healing either 🤷‍♀️

Plus with twins and currently one being bigger than the other NICU is a real possibility which could be for a few weeks and I'm petrified they won't allow us in to spend time with the babies if they have to stay in hospital longer than me When pre covid you could be with them all day

@ivfbeenbusy

I’m in the West Midlands too. And yes, getting treated like dirt is par for the course. Make sure you get your voice heard. Tell your MW that you are suffering real anxiety over this. Get real answers to your questions. Do not except ‘maybes.’ If they do try and get you out, make sure they have checked your stitches PROPERLY. Try and get as much support as you can waiting for you at home so that being signed out after 24 hours out will feel like the more relaxing option- you actually might be able to get more rest in a proper bed with some privacy and your own mug

I'm 34 weeks and my trust won't allow birth partners in until your about 4cms dilated and then they have to leave pretty soon after birth.

I've been fine about partners not being able to come to scans (even though it is nerve wracking) or when I have gone in with a concern - again terrifying but I could understand.

I don't agree with this however. Your birth partner should be allowed with you throughout the whole process and should be able to stay. It could be such a traumatic experience for some and I am heading into the unknown, essentially alone. Doesn't seem fair when people are gathering left, right and centre.

My sister recently had a csection and her partner had to leave after an hour
She said it was actually fine on the postnatal ward - no way near as bad as expected considering no partner there. All the mums had their curtains open & boobs out trying to establish breastfeeding. It was very relaxed as everyone was in the same boat so they were all chatting & supporting eachother (no men walking past!). There was good help from midwives etc. She had her section at 10pm (emergency) and home by 4pm next day.

@ivfbeenbusy & @rincewindspotato I'm Staffordshire, and was under Good Hope Hospital, but I changed to burton hospital because of how tight the restrictions are and clearly even more so now the cases are on the rise.
Burton are allowing partners in and to stay for a while after and visit. I'm just fortunate I had the option to change! As a FTM my anxiety was through the roof with worry so I feel loads better about everything now

Sign www.change.org/p/partners-allowed-for-entirety-of-labour-birth-in-all-hospitals?recruited_by_id=9a2df680-f525-11ea-bbbf-9184eb3956df&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial

@HelloRose

That is one good thing I don't mind - my hospital is not one I would have chosen as it's huge and have heard complaints about noisy and rude visitors etc in the past so at least the wards will be quiet!

@lockdownpregnancy

I wanted to go to Good Hope but you can't choose there if you are having a planned c section (or twins). I'm stuck with Heartlands 😬

@ivfbeenbusy I wanted an ELCS and when I got told it had to be Heartlands I was like 'nope'!! The fact my DH doesn't drive was another factor that I'd be even more alone as Heartlands is far away from where we live so he wouldn't have been able to come visit as he couldn't get there!
I'm so much happier now I've transferred to burton. I just hope they don't tighten the restrictions before I have baby!! 😬😬😬