TTC during Covid - anyone else still worried?

[MontyFALD]

Hi all!

Fairly new here and I lost the thread I was on  I was wondering if someone would be willing to just chat about my worries with me! I can't tell if I'm being irrational!

TTC for 2 years with a few miscarriages along the way. We stopped TTC in April due to Covid.

We have worries but we REALLY want to start trying again, however I can't shake the worries and I've seen so many TTC threads on here but Covid isn't mentioned so I'm feeling like I'm just being "silly" now!?

Our worries:

• grandparents won't share in the joy of their grandchild because they are isolating and vulnerable. They will miss out as will we!
• going to scans alone, I have social anxiety so it scares me!
• no prenatal classes - meaning I won't get to meet local mums and dads to be, I really really feel I need that!!!!
• no friends and family can come around to support me or join in the celebration when the baby arrives.
• will the baby be missing out in this strange Covid world?
• if something goes wrong.... I'll be on my own in hospital!

That's just a short list of our concerns! And I just want to know if there's anyone else out there still worried or if I'm overthinking which does happen!

Would love to chat this through so I don't feel so alone!

Thanks so much

Monty

@MontyFALD it's such a tough one.
I'm currently 7+5 weeks pregnant and I do worry about Covid, but at the same time 9 months is a long time away anything can happen in that time. It can get worse or better and I suppose it depends how long you can or want to actually put your life on hold xx

Hi! It must be a difficult decision for you - it happened that I got pregnant in Feb before that much was known about Covid. In my first trimester I spent a lot of time worrying about the same things as you.

I suppose the only way you can answer the the question is are your feeling about the things you are worried about about stronger than your desire to have a baby at the mo? I think the problem is that no one can say when Covid will go away again, indeed it seems like it may well be endemic. If putting it off until we are in a Covid free world, you may have to reconcile to waiting for quite a long time. A few other mitigating factors to consider:

• things could be v different by the time baby is here. Who is to say grandparents can’t be involved?
• scabs alone - maybe. I went to all mine alone - it wasn’t great tbh, but I can’t say it’s ruined mine or my husbands experience of expecting. I think a lot of trusts (including mine where there is currently a high incidence of Covid) are now allowing partners into the 20 week appt. guidance came out a couple of days ago to start the process of allowing birth partners to accompany mums for much longer. Even at the height of lockdown mums were allowed a birth partner in active labour

-prenatal - lots happening online. I’ve done online yoga with lots of other supportive mums to be and starting my online NCT on Friday and really looking forward to it

• why can no friends share in your joy? Even in the current state of lockdown you can still have ppl round to your house
• what if something goes wrong?? It’s a worry - totally natural that you are concerned. But what if everything goes right, too?

There is no perfect time to have a baby - when my brother was born it was a three day week and power cuts every day, when I was born it was the second Cold War and everyone was scared of nuclear weapons... I’m not trying to be flippant but there are always risks and scary thing that might happen. I had lots of the same worries as you and kind of taking myself through like this helped me.

Of course, you can also wait and it may depend on your job/stage in life etc. I can say it’s not a brilliant time to be pregnant, but the things you are worried about are not insurmountable if you want to go for it. Good luck on your journey whatever you choose x

We planned on stating concieiving (our 2nd) in march and then lockdown happend and i had similar doubts and worries but then we realised there will always be a reason not to have a baby if you look hard enough. People had babies in wars!

9 months is a long time and no guarantee you will concieve straight away so could be longer, so if its something you really want I would say go for it.