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Original poster

Am I crazy for wanting elective c-section

34 replies

Gem16 · 07/09/2020 10:34

Hi everyone,

I would really appreciate some advice and experience with regards to an elective c-section. I’m a FTM and extremely nervous about a natural birth. I am not scared of the pain I am just worried about the unknown and the health of my baby (I know too many people who have had babies with potential brain damage due to birth complications).
Without going into too much info I also already suffer from hemorrhoids and a weak bladder due to years of suffering from IBS and a tilted womb that I fear could be made much worse with a natural birth.

I have discussed my concerns with my midwife and I have been given an appointment with the birth choices clinic next week when I will be 20 weeks to discuss my reasons for wanting an elective c-section. I have read up thoroughly on the risks so I am fully aware of the extended recovery and that I will require additional help in the first couple of months. I am also aware that I am more than likely going to be refused one.

In a nutshell, am I crazy for wanting an elective c-section?

OP posts:

mummy2myJJ · 07/09/2020 11:01

It's totally normal for a FTM to be concerned over birth, I think everyone feels worried about the unknown but it is the most natural thing in the world and if it was that bad people would only have 1 baby I'm pregnant with my second baby and I look back on memories of my first birth with happiness. I was so worried about how painful it would be and what could go wrong but honestly I didn't find it half as bad as what I thought it would be... he was 9lb and back to back and I managed on only gas and air! If you really feel like a C-Section is necessary then please make sure your partner can take the first 6 weeks off work as I know a few women that really struggled with the healing whilst having a newborn and also the chances of an infection are slightly higher with C sections (to my knowledge). Really think about this OP, you'd be putting yourself through a major operation... good luck xx

Misty999 · 07/09/2020 14:38

Nope I did this on my first and planning to for current pregnancy. If it's what you want you just need to keep pushing for it. In my experience you need help for the first week then it's fine providing you can take it easy and only lift baby. Good luck in whatever you decide.

MichelleOR84 · 07/09/2020 14:59

Not at all . I’m actually the opposite and the thought of not having a natural vaginal birth worries me to no end . Everyone has different anxieties and fears . Hopefully you find peace with your anxieties . If you are not granted a csection I highly recommend hypnobirthing!!

Lockdownseperation · 07/09/2020 15:04

I nearly ended up in ICU due to complications from my c section. C sections often come with unkonws too.

MsMiaWallace · 07/09/2020 15:05

Guys. A C Section is by no means an easy route out.
I was completely shell shocked after mine & in a lot of pain.
My best birth & easiest was a natural birth with no pain relief. The no pain relief aspect was not something I was going for trust me I was just refused an epidural.
I recovered much quicker after this birth & felt amazing when baby was born.

If I did have another baby I wouldn't opt for a c section.

Bouncycastle12 · 07/09/2020 15:08

I got bounced into a natural birth by midwife and ended up having emergency c section and baby in intensive care. Wish I’d listened to my gut (although we are both fine.) Seventeen hours of labour did not make for a happy start to motherhood. Do the research, decide, and then stick to your guns.

user1493413286 · 07/09/2020 15:08

I’ve had two sections (emergency and planned due to my incision from the first) and I would always say to people who are worried about a natural birth that a c section isn’t necessarily the solution to that anxiety. My anxiety was sky high with my planned section and recovery is hard going. While there is some certainty with a section there are also lots of different things that can happen so it’s by no means a complete certainty. I don’t mean to say that a c section is the wrong way to go but I worry that people’s expectations aren’t quite the reality.
Obviously there’s more to it for you in terms of your other worries about a natural birth exacerbating them it sounds like it’s important to get some really good medical advice about what the reality of that is.

Charlotte2020 · 07/09/2020 15:13

@Gem16 i feel I'm in a similar boat to you! FTM and I have nerve damage 'down there' and mild bladder issues due to cauda Equina. I want to be able to decline forceps because of this- in case damage is done and makes my issues worse (I was numb for 6months and about 75%
has returned)! I'm worried I'm going to really have to campaign to get my way!

MyOwnSummer · 07/09/2020 15:16

I had a planned elective cesarean for my first, and am very happy that I did so. Recovery was very easy, but then I have nothing to compare it to - but the stats for birth injuries frightened the bejeesus out of me and frankly, the idea of a complete stranger sticking their hand or instruments up my fanny brought me out in a cold sweat. I made the right choice for me.

You have the right as per the NHS charter to make your own decision, if you think you might want to go down this route you can request a referral to the Perinatal mental health team who will support you in your request. As it turned out, the doctor that saw me around 30 weeks fully agreed that it was my choice and was happy to sign it off. It does depend on where you live though!

Morally, it is your body and should be your choice. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Suzi888 · 07/09/2020 15:17

I had a C section. FTM unplanned pregnancy, age 38, breech baby (doctors wanted to turn her, but other medical staff told me not to).
I seemed to have an easier time than some of my work colleagues in terms of their vaginal births (tearing etc). My recovery was a lot longer though and I wasn’t expecting there to be as much pain afterwards or for so long. I also couldn’t breast feed, as my milk didn’t come in and when it did there wasn’t enough and she didn’t want it. My mum stayed with me with first week, then my husband took his two weeks off.

You can’t drive or vacuum or do heavy lifting for the first six weeks.

You have just go with what makes you the most comfortable.

Doliv63 · 07/09/2020 15:23

Second and third babies were both elective C section and I can honestly say I recovered quite quickly post op . I was up and about within hours and I was driving less than three weeks later . I really think that every woman, within reason should attempt the birth that they feel comfortable with.

Doliv63 · 07/09/2020 15:25

My insurance company allowed me to drive once I felt comfortable to do emergency stop ...which was about 3 weeks post section.

cultkid · 07/09/2020 15:26

No you are not crazy at all
I really do advocate them

Had two. First son was premature and I don't think he would have survived being born

Second one I had scheduled and he was actually covered in meconium when he was born.. dread to think what could have happened if I didn't have that section that was planned

I really think they are the safest choice for the maternal health and the baby although respect it's not the most popular decision.

BombyliusMajor · 07/09/2020 15:49

Not crazy at all. Go for it. You have plenty of valid reasons.

I had an elective c section under general anaesthetic. It was great. In my experience the NHS will do everything in their power to talk you out of it, but at the end my consultant conceded that a planned c section is the second safest option for mother and baby - the safest being a quick & easy vaginal birth with no complications (which obviously nobody can guarantee).

My milk came in fine, my baby was fine, the recovery was quick and I was only on pain meds for 2-3 days afterwards.

BombyliusMajor · 07/09/2020 15:53

I should add that my first baby did not survive childbirth due to a cord accident; she would have lived had she been delivered at 39 weeks via c section. But instead I hung around until nearly 40.5 weeks as per the advice of NCT / hypnobirthing / etc by which point it was too late. Natural doesn't always mean safe.

Blondebear123 · 07/09/2020 15:57

2 elective sections. I have no doubt in my mind it was the right decision for me. Sections are not awful, u don't need your partner off work for 6 weeks utter nonsense. You could have a horrible natural delivery and take a reasonable recovery time too. Yes you will be sore but you are going to be sore either way at least with a section your bits are still intact! Midwives will try talk u into natural birth if u want a section stick to your guns.

Blondebear123 · 07/09/2020 15:59

I also exclusively breast fed for 7 months after both sections so dont let people put u off with the ' your milk won't come in after a section nonsense'

gonewiththerain · 07/09/2020 16:12

I’ve had both an emcs and a VBAC. Although it should have been a planned cs but she came early and I went for it. The labour felt very different from my first. The VBAC was so much easier to recover from and had an easy recovery from the cs as I was driving after two weeks.
My advice would be to have a cs if they suggest induction ( I found the drip very difficult) and if you go too far overdue. If you go into labour have a low cut off point for a cs. So with my first I took days to reach 7 cm and there was a reason for that. With my second it was hours. I would also switch to a cs at the slightest hint of stress on the baby. My first was getting quite distressed quite early in labour. The seconds heart rate never faltered during quite a long pushing phase.
You can request a cs at any point. But if labour is going to be straight forward every thing happens quite quickly.

Fishfingersandwichplease · 07/09/2020 16:15

I spent my whole pregnancy stressing about giving birth and could have kissed the midwife when she said l had to have a C-section. Absolutely nothing wrong with that OP especially as you have valid reasons for wanting one.

Wishing56 · 07/09/2020 16:17

Not at all. I had an elective due to having twins and it was such a calm experience. I would definitely have another. I didnt find recovery too bad.

I would just ensure you discuss any effects on your bladder with being catherterised during the section if you already have a weak bladder and also after a section bowel movements can be difficult for a while - although using suppositories and lactulose will help and are normally offered by the hospital.

Caneloalvarez · 07/09/2020 16:18

Ideally yes a natural birth with few complications would be best, but there are no guarantees.. I had an elective for my first for the same reasons as you and I don't regret it one bit, the first week is painful and you need to be careful and only lift baby for the first few weeks. But I've seen many have emergency sections anyway and I absolutely wanted to avoid an emergency situation.

I just could not get my head around all the possibilities of what could go wrong with a natural birth and having an elective completely removed this anxiety.. I was still a little nervous with the c section but overall it was amazing, actually wish I'd relaxed more as it was magical when baby was out!

I'm sorry but who cares about driving anyway.. especially if you are establishing breastfeeding, too busy with that to go anywhere 😂 hopefully if you have partner / family they can help with those things anyway. Write down all your reasons and bring them with you to all appointments, I found this helped to get my decision confirmed. Good luck!

maria2bela · 07/09/2020 16:18

I can completely understand your fears and concerns and why you'd want a c section, but there are many risks and negatives also associated with having a c section, it's major surgery, the healing process/health complications can also be an after effect of having a c section.

I just gave birth to my second baby a few days ago, I can tell you that it is painful but the good thing is, when the pain is unbareable it means it's almost over! Xx

Morgan12 · 07/09/2020 16:25

I've had both. My c section was much better in every single way. And my recovery was shorter.

I'd honestly tell every woman to pick a c section.

NotFrozen · 07/09/2020 16:29

OP go with what feels right for you. There is no wrong way to have a baby!

DarkmilkAddict · 07/09/2020 16:31

I’d recommend a planned section to anyone. So civilised, no pain. I luckily had a very quick recovery and breastfeeding was easy. I know it’s not like that for everyone but having done it both ways I’d always choose doing it that way

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