Let's talk sex

[zooloo88]

Hey all 28 weeks pregnant, just looking for the general consensus as to what on Earth is going on, since finding out I'm pregnant OH and I have a non existent sex life, when we met and for a long time after we had what I consider a good sex life liking to try lots of things, a little out there and just
Pretty much everything I could ask for but
For the last 12 months it's kind of changed, a lot less frequent and a little boring compared to our normal And then add in being pregnant I can probably count on one time how many times we have had sex during this pregnancy.

I'm at the point now it really is getting me down, I long to be touched, we kiss, cuddle, hold hands when doing other stuff and that's really lovely but just absolutely nothing in the bedroom, I have always kind of had to initiate sex but now I'm just at the point where it's easier to put porn on and sort myself out .

I've tried so many times talking to him but he's not very emotional about things and just at first blames Covid and being together all the time (we had to work from home) now just says there's no problem, or worried about baby, but he doesn't even touch me in any sexual way and My sex drive has gone through the roof with this pregnancy!

Just kind of at a loss what else to do apart from sit here mourning an amazing sex life that used to be and struggling to get over it !

Ah I think he may be freaked out by it, my husband was kind of like this but also he said he assumed that I didn't want to and didn't want to pressure me, so when I explained that I do (sometimes) then he was all for it. I'm 34 weeks now and only fancy very rarely but I make sure I let him know when I do as he's not a mind reader and I'm all over the place

Sorry I guess it's a bit different for you as you've already tried to speak to him about it

Well a lot of men don't find the bump appealing or are worried about hurting the baby. Were you trying for a baby in the twelve months when it dwindled? That can also take the fun out if it

Sex in pregnancy is a weird thing - I think blokes absolutely love it or hate it. My DH wasn't overly keen, we would have sex if I initiated but to be honest once I got past 20 weeks (both times) I wasn't really too fussed. If it's any consolation our sex life picked back up as soon as I felt ready to (6/8 weeks after) and if I'm honest has improved.

I think my DH thinks I'm auditioning for a part in Aliens with the way he eyes my bump - doesn't engage with it all and certainly doesn't initiate anything. He was like this with my last pregnancy though and this time I'm having twins so it's started a lot earlier than previously as I've had a significant bump since around 10-12 weeks. Some men are comfortable with it some aren't sure do bloody miss it though 🤣

@zooloo88 He’s probably a bit freaked out by it and just doesn’t want to admit it 👎🏼 He’s maybe scared to say it incase you think he’s not attracted to you?
I’m 32 weeks and DH and I haven’t had ANY kind of sexual contact since we conceived 😳 during the first trimester I was really sick and just wasn’t really interested then I had a couple of bleeds which terrified us both and DH read online that sex can cause more irritation and a bit of bleeding and it was just a complete NO even after the sickness had passed.

Honestly it’s so normal, we continued to have sex during pregnancy but it was my no means mind blowing. My partner openly admitted the belly put him off, especially when the baby would move and towards to end neither us were really feeling it!! But after I had the baby our sex life quickly returned to normal and I realised just how shit sex was when I was pregnant!

I’m 32 weeks and it’s the same here, very rare!
I caught my other half closing his eyes during sex the other day and it kind of confirmed what I have suspected all along: he finds me being visibly pregnant unattractive/uncomfortable. Not helped by the fact that the baby kicked his hand during sex in the second trimester.

Thing is, you've kind of moved from girlfriend / wife to mother. That can take some adjusting to for some men.

Aw thank you all honestly makes me feel better knowing maybe it's part of us having a baby... can't say I like it much I think I just need to try and get over it and accept it that's the bit I'm struggling with sadly

I can count on one hand how many times we've had sex during this pregnancy too, but that's because of me. I feel fat, uncomfortable, and just gross! DH would still be at it every day. After reading this I actually feel bad for him, I should make more effort to help him out, even if not full intercourse.

I haven't had sex since finding out I was pregnant and it pissed me off!! I had to always try and initiate it but hubby just didn't want to. Said he felt really weird having sex with a baby inside me. I get where he's coming from tbh but it's just super annoying for me

We had plenty of sex before hand and very little now (32 weeks).

DP has been very open about being freaked out by the baby movements whilst we've had sex. Oddly enough he can't get enough of my bump though he said he wishes I could be pregnant forever because he loves the way it looks!

He will have sex if I initiate, but I know he worries about the baby, and can't get his head around having sex so close to the baby's head, so I don't think he enjoys it the way he used to. Neither do I if I'm honest.

I'm in the same boat. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my first.
DP and I have hardly had any sex at all since we conceived. He is so worried about harming the baby.

During the first trimester, I got upset and explained that I felt DP didn't want me anymore (hormones, ey!). He felt bad, he understood how I felt and he then hesitantly initiated sex - it was the most careful sex I've ever had in my life 😂

We had sex again later that month under similar circumstances. Again, it was very cautious sex.

We have not had sex since. I have bought it up a few times as I have days were I feel particularly emotional. DP insists that he loves me, he is still attracted to me but is scared of hurting the baby.

I would love to still have sex with DP during the pregnancy, but have decided to stop pressing the matter. I've read on MN of so many other fathers-to-be who have reacted in the same way, so it seems it is very common.

My fear is.. he will get used to us not having sex and it will continue long after the baby is born. I'm imaging him telling me he doesn't feel comfortable having sex while there is a baby in the flat.