Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Covid restrictions and birth

14 replies

bellbell123 · 01/09/2020 07:24

Hi - without wanting to give too many details away, I'm extremely concerned about the current Covid restrictions at my hospital. Particularly that my hospital is forcing fathers to leave within a four hour window after birth. I have given birth without complications but for other reasons my son did not make it. I find hospitals extremely traumatic but because of one medical issue (unrelated to birth risk), I don't have any choice but to give birth in hospital.

So my question is therefore: if I am lucky enough to have a birth that goes well, do me/baby have the legal right to self-discharge if they make my husband leave without me? I'm not staying in hospital if he isn't there with me. Will they report me to SS?? This is assuming there is nothing wrong with either of us of course.

OP posts:
footprintsintheslow · 01/09/2020 07:26

See how you feel at the time and don't over think things beforehand is my advice.
Good luck.

OverTheRainbow88 · 01/09/2020 07:31

Sorry for your loss. This must be a very scary time for you and your OH.

You can leave when you want, I would wait until baby has had their check up though, which is usually done pretty quickly.

Like PP said; I wouldn’t think about it too much now and see how you feel at the time, you may have an epidural so find it hard to stand up for a while etc or you may feel totally fine and happy to leave.

Best of luck

Subordinateclause · 01/09/2020 07:31

A hospital cannot make you stay. The midwife-in-charge told me this (nicely) and we self discharged. We were visited by a midwife the next day as normal and had been put on the list for a feeding specialist to phone us which was great. But I'd try to go with an open mind and be very clear about the difficulties you face and the support you will need. Good luck.

Original poster
bellbell123 · 01/09/2020 07:46

Thanks everyone for your replies. My experience with them when I gave birth last time is that they held us up by eight hours on a ward of healthy babies ("the doctor is on her way so you will be discharged in just a minute...") at a very distressing time. They honestly do not give a sh*t so long as you can't sue them, that isn't even the worst of it. I'm just worried they're using covid as an excuse to pull the same stuff again.

OP posts:
Original poster
bellbell123 · 01/09/2020 07:48

I'm considering finding the money for private care but one private hospital told me they wouldn't take someone in my circs due to additional risk. I'm desperate not to end up trapped in that prison again.

OP posts:
MrsK89 · 01/09/2020 07:52

It's strange because when I last gave birth they said I could discharge myself but I wasn't allowed to take the baby with me and they would call the police if I tried. 😑

NameChange30 · 01/09/2020 07:54

I am very sorry for your loss and for the unacceptable way you were treated in hospital Flowers

Did you ever have a "debrief" or talk to PALS about your experience?

I would advise you to contact PALS about your previous experience and your concerns. You could also ask to talk to the consultant midwife.

I think hospitals are all applying slightly different rules and some might be more willing to make exceptions than others, but it is worth at least asking the question.

If they have private rooms in the postnatal ward (my hospital does, you can pay extra to use one) I wonder if they would let you use one and have your husband stay with you - if he's in the room and not on an open ward they might allow it, given the circumstances.

Also I wonder if Sands might be able to advise and support you with negotiating with the hospital and dealing with your anxieties in general?

Crazycatlady83 · 01/09/2020 08:11

You can self discharge yourself and the baby. The hospital cannot keep your baby in hospital without your permission (without getting outside agencies involved and there would have to be good grounds to do this)

I’m sorry you have had such a rough time and for your loss. Is there any way you can swap hospitals? When is your due date?

When I was in hospital, I told them I would be leaving at 5pm (it was 2pm at the time) I had enough and wanted to go home, they had been delaying me all day. All I needed was medication. This seemed to spur them into action - maybe this is something you could try?

Good luck

Original poster
bellbell123 · 01/09/2020 08:30

Thanks and no, I did not have any sort of debrief beyond the postmortem results. I have learnt my lesson in complaining - I complained after EPU disputed my postmortem and then when I later had no choice but to go back in, they retaliated because I'd complained, so no i don't believe that complaining is in any way effective.

I badly want to switch hospitals but I'm under specialist care and there isn't another unit that provides it that I'm aware of.

Sorry I do realise that all of my answers will appear like I'm trying to say 'no' to every alternative but I really have thought of / tried everything I can think of to take action. I just do not trust anyone in that place.

To the poster above who was threatened with the police...wow. I can totally see them pulling that. I once self discharged after they messed up an early MC and they put me on a ward with a lady who had advanced dementia and STILL tried to stop me leaving!

OP posts:
SockQueen · 01/09/2020 08:33

Have you got a bereavement/CONI midwife? They may be able to support you in seeing if special arrangements can be made for you, given your circumstances. I'm sorry for your loss.

NelliePig · 01/09/2020 08:37

I'd be too worried to self discharge without my baby being checked over first... so I have birth at 6.10am and we were home by 1. Because I wasnt going to the ward we were kept in the side room and my partner was able to stay too. We were originally told the same crap about only 4 hours, it was true, but only for ladies moved to the ward x

Magpiefeather · 01/09/2020 08:48

I think it will depend how busy the hospital is. I had my DS at the start of July in hospital (but the birth centre bit). They were really quiet and my birth was straightforward so let us stay in the room I gave birth in until they discharged us (DH as well)

Poppy709 · 01/09/2020 11:52

Hi,
I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my daughter after an emergency c section last year and am due very soon. I understand your fears about being in hospital alone, I have found attending MAC with concerns alone almost unbearable during covid because of the trauma of my previous experience, but I've had to do it many times. It is different for me because I trust my hospital and don't blame them in any way for what happened - it sounds like this isn't the case for you. All I would say is there is always the possibility you may have to have a c section? If that happens then there's no way you would be able to leave after 4 hours and I think it's standard in most hospitals that partners can't come to the ward with you, it's certainly the case for me (elective c section) and I'm preparing for a 2 night stay in hospital alone. Obviously it would be ideal if you could discharge from the delivery suite and I know my hospital is actually encouraging this in straightforward births but there is the chance this won't be possible and I do think you need to somehow prepare for a stay in hospital alone, just in case.
Xx

BeMorePacific · 01/09/2020 11:57

That sounds so traumatic. Can you speak to your midwife about it prior to birth.
As long as you and baby are healthy there is no reason why they need to keep you. A midwife could then visit you at home that day or the next.
They can’t keep you in against your will. You also have a very good reason not to want to stay. I hope you get more compassionate care this time around x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread