Anyone else single and pregnant?

[Dreamcatcher34]

I’ve been fine with the fact I’m single all pregnancy. The baby’s dad is either full on lovely or disappears altogether, so that’s difficult and messes with my head a bit. However, today, at 26 weeks, I feel as though I’ve crashed and burned. I’ve cried all day long and feel so lonely and lost. Is anyone else in the same situation? How do you feel about it all?

I'm with the baby's dad but not living with him as we both live at our parents still, I'm 28 weeks pregnant. Some days he can be full on talking about when baby is here and buying baby stuff (never actually does)then the next seems like he dosent care and does disappearing acts like tonight, went out, didn't even tell me he was going out, don't know where he's been, who with, doing what and he doesn't pick up his phone, then I bet tomorrow will act like nothing hapened! I know our relationship isn't going to work out in the long run if he carries on like this but I'm afraid of how controlling he will try to be over access to the baby if I do break up with him. He says he wants 50 50 access if we break up, it scares me cause his mums flat is not suitable for a baby with a house cat and he's just not responsible, I already feel so attached to this baby to the fact I don't want him to come out as that's the only way he will stay with me and not be taken away from me 😔 Hes also refused to buy anything for baby at my house and only buys stuff for the baby which will stay at his house. I feel like I'm doing this on my own and supporting this baby on my own, I spend what feels like every penny on this baby, can't remember the last time I brought somthing for myself, even spent my birthday money on baby stuff yet he goes to the pub regularly and never buys anything for the baby to be at my house. I constantly send him my updated list of things I still need to get, some things being as simple as a pack of cotton wool but not received anything 😔 unfortunately theres nothing to make them support a baby until baby is actually here😔 we have a private scan booked this week which I paid the deposit for and he said he will pay the remainder of the amount but I have a feeling we will get there and his card will decline as he's been out this weekend, happens regularly when we go out to buy baby stuff and he says he will pay, we get to the checkout and his card declines and I end up paying, he seems to think I'm fine with money as I have savings, I've spent 1k of savings this year on general stuff, mainly on baby and keeping bills paid as I lost my job during coronavirus and universal credit didn't cover all my bills. I'm with you on feeling alone, private message me if you ever need a chat or a rant!

@Dreamcatcher34 I’ve been single throughout my pregnancy, and have no contact with the father. He said from very early on, I was on my own if I was to continue the pregnancy, which I accepted. I’m 33weeks.

My thoughts from the beginning was I would rather do this alone, my routine, my way. This way I didn’t have to coparent with an idiot, who wouldn’t Care or respect my decisions, and would probably drop and pick up responsibility depending on football, women, alcohol, mates.

I completely understand when you say you’ve crashed. I have them days where I think, I can’t do this alone, what about if I want to see my friends, what about them sleepless nights. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be lonely at times, but we can do this, we just need to reach out for support and help when we need it, and realise it. Hope you have some family and friends around you?

I'm going through a very difficult separation, I'm 22 weeks and have a 5 year old. I have up days then crash. If you have other support around then please let them support you. You can do this alone, in fact it will be easier than with someone who doesn't listen or support you, then you'd feel worse. You got this!!

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one, as I always feel that I am. However, it’s so sad to hear that you ladies are going through hard times too.

I’m lucky enough that I do have a lot of supportive family and friends around me, so coping with the baby isn’t too much of a worry. However, I just seem to crave a partner to share all of this with. It’s a lonely time, despite so many people being around.

@EBM20 it sounds as though you’re in a horrible situation. I think in your situation I would be tempted to get rid of him and not put his name on the birth certificate. That way, he would have a long fight ahead of him to get anything close to 50/50 access. Plus if you could prove you were in a good routine with the baby, they wouldn’t want to cause too much upheaval so I doubt he would ever get 50/50 access considering you’re not married to him. I know that sounds very underhand, but he doesn’t sound appropriate to have the baby on his own and it must be so scary for you.

@bookishtartlet and @DressingGown87 you’re right, we absolutely can do this. And this worry will be a distant memory.