Formula mums

[excitedanxietyyorkshire]

Hi All!
I'm due with my first in March 2021.
I won't be able to breastfeed due to health reasons, so I'll need to rely totally on formula.
I've read a lot about this being contentious.
Is it really that bad a thing to not breastfeed?
Any formula mums out there with any advice?
Thanks!

Hi @excitedanxietyyorkshire I wasn't able to breastfeed due to health reasons either. My DC are now 7 and 8 and are perfectly fine and extremely healthy. I'm pregnant again and due in April 2021. I don't know yet whether I will be able to breastfeed this time but I am not worried about the baby being a 'formula baby'. Hope this reassures you x

I tried to bf, my milk never came in properly. I was dreadfully ashamed of this at the time which contributed to my pnd. With the benefit of hindsight (my DTs are 2.5 now!) nobody cared then or now how I fed them, as long as they were fed. Whilst I was in the hospital the midwife actually FF them for me as she knew I was exhausted and had next to nothing bf wise to feed them with and they were hungry.

I had a couple of judgemental comments, but the vast majority of people said nothing negative, gave me their FF stories or offered to feed a bottle to one of them. People used to stare which made me super paranoid that I was being judged, but I know it was because I was feeding two at once with one hand whilst cramming lunch down my throat!

My first was combi feed until 6 weeks and my second too until had to move to ebf for baby’s allergy. Neither bf or ff are perfect for Mums and Babies and they both have their pros and cons. As bf Mum I’ve done every single night feed for the last year and I long for a full nights sleep.

Get a perfect prep and tomppe tippee measuring container so you don’t have to count out scoops of formula in the middle of the night. Not all bottles are equally as good.

I have had to formula all my 4 due to the meds im on. All of them where healthy happy babies and have grown up in to heathly children. Midwife and health visitor all very helpful and supportive. Your baby will be fine on formula. And it means other half can do their share of night feeds too!

I tried bf but milk didn't come in but only planned on bf for two weeks. Nobody has ever commented on me feeding my dd formula and it was my midwife who told me to go with formula once I was home as dd had lost a load of weight. To be honest in comparison to a friend whose bf it was a lot easier to formula feed and also meant I could get on with other jobs whilst dh fed her.

It's really not an issue to lots of people OP.
I had planned to bf, didn't work out. In hindsight not a bad thing - my DS is a bit of a hulk and I'm not sure I would have survived it.

Ff can be a convenient alternative. Please do not feel any shame about it.

I chose not to bf any of my three and no one judged me for it. Aslong as a baby is fed and healthy who care how they are fed.

I formula fed both of mine. First I tried to breast feed but he wouldn’t take the milk and ended up in NICU so I decided fed was better than the alternative! And our second i formula fed from the very start, didn’t even try the breast, because I didn’t want to risk the trauma of a poorly baby again. Both are absolutely fine. And it really isn’t that controversial at all. There are some militant breast feeding advocates but most people are pretty relaxed and sensible that fed and happy is best, whatever that looks like. Best of luck with everything!

I chose formula from day one - no health issues with DC’s. You’ll never be able to tell who is bf and who ff. Both give babies an excellent start in life. A second the recommendation for a perfect prep.

Both mine were FF due to a medication I take. It was totally fine.

If you are doing formula get a perfect prep machine, it makes it so much easier. All formulas are almost exactly identical for health reasons, so just choose a brand that is cheap and readily available.

I had a few people look a bit funny when I said I was formula feeding, but never any real hostility or pressure! I have sat many times at baby groups chatting away and bottle feeding while others breastfed and none of us caring one way or the other.

Some people get really evangelical about BF and ive no idea why. BF IS best if you only look at the nutrition side of things, but theres so much more to it than that. FF is fine, ignore all preachy BF people.

It's absolutely fine not to BF! It makes very little difference to babies in a developed country anyway and you won't be missing out on anything. You may want to make sure your midwife is on board and check hospital policies - some won't supply formula except for 'medical' reasons and this can be interpreted different ways. You don't want to be arguing on postnatal about access to formula if your baby is hungry! We were denied access... You can order the 'hospital packs' of formula (ready to feed bottles with already sterilised teats) from Boots and online supermarkets if you do need to supply your own formula in hospital. And those might be handy to have at home in the early days anyway.
I did experience formula shaming (I combi-fed so did 50/50 BF/FF for first year), but that was only at some groups; the BFing group weren't keen on having a formula feeder there but I doubt you'll be wanting to go to one of those . The standard toddler group in a church hall nobody cared how you fed your baby as long as you were feeding it!
Good luck!

Both mine have been formula fed since day one and I don't see the issue with it

I ebf for 1 year and can confirm formula is totally fine if that's what you want or need.

DD is formula fed and has been since she was born, by choice! I wasn't prepared to do the nights by myself after I'd just been through labour and stress myself out worrying if she'd had enough. Nobody has ever said anything negative, it's only on social media that I see 'breast is best'. Fed is best.

My DS was ebf for 2 months. Exhausting for me and him. He didn't sleep well, was always unsettled, tried eliminating things from my diet to help. I ended up in hospital due to illness when he was 2MO. So unfortunately had to switch to formula. But he was like a different baby overnight. He was so much happier and more settled. We both suddenly got much more sleep. Breast is best but not for every mum OR every baby.

Don't concern yourself with what other people think. Your baby, your choice, even if it's not the one you might have made under other circumstances.

I managed a grand total of 3 days breast feeding before I became too anxious and depressed to continue so switched to formula - it was the best thing for DS DH and myself.
You have to do what’s right for you and your family - don’t worry about what other people think