Talk to me about surrogacy in UK

[iClear]

Hi,

I have been thinking a lot about surrogacy, and the process. Myself and husband (hetero-couple) we have had a pretty difficult and rough fertility journey in the last 10 years.

But the journey to get here has had its own challenges. I am part of multiple surrogacy groups, and whilst, I have chatted and met many women who present themselves as surrogates, when I started chatting and share fertility journey to get to know, I was often just blanked, ignored, and shown no interest at all. Moreover, I felt like I was expected to charm them, and lure them into becoming our surrogate. I must have chatted with at least around odd 30 ladies.

The question to you is - how did you match in your surrogacy journeys ?
What were your experiences like ?

The point is also, when some of the surrogate mothers say: they genuinely want to help a couple form a family - I don'tt find that exactly true in many many of the cases. I won't go into the details of it, but would like to hear your views on your journeys.

**Before I get shot, I value the the surrogacy process and would be forever grateful to a surrogate. My approach to surrogate mothers is very subtle, gently, friendly and full of positivity, despite the rough journey we've been through. I am naturally caring, so the 'hi, would you be my surrogate question first hand is not me'. And I understand surrogacy in UK is altruistic, and I am not the most perfect communicator, but I try.

I'd love to hear different views too.

Surrogacy in the UK is a minefield. Aside from the moral issues it raises, there's precious little legal protection. You could well end up with your heart broken several times over and no baby.

Surrogacy in the U.K. is the same as surrogacy everywhere. Unethical use of another woman's body.

This is a really sensitive topic and I don't think you'll get much of what you are looking for on the Pregnancy board. There is a specific Surrogacy topic if you would like to ask MNHQ to move it for you.

I don't have personal experience but a very close friend looked into surrogacy in the UK and decided against it. She was not prepared to take the risk that a child who was biologically hers and her husband's could be lawfully kept by the surrogate. The ethics of surrogacy aside (which also bother her) she concluded that unless you have a very close friend or family member who is willing to carry for you then it is too risky in the UK.

I would post on the specific surrogacy topic, OP.

Also, mumsnet is not a very pro-surrogacy site. Many people on here have strong ethical objections to surrogacy. It’s just worth bearing that in mind when considering people’s responses.

cheers all, had thread moved.