Terrified about stillbirth/something happening in labour

[theresaplaceforus]

I’m coming up to 34 weeks and I’m so scared about stillbirth, in a way that I don’t know if it’s normal? Almost like I feel it will happen to me. It makes me cry and I try and reassure myself that things are ok.
I guess what I’m wondering is, how common are still birth at full term?
Is it normal to be this worried about something happening to my baby during labour?
I also worry that maybe I’ll die when I have the baby or something will happen to me. I’m not sure if I should talk to someone, I’ve got the midwife tomorrow, last time when I mentioned I worried about the baby quite a lot, she said it was natural and to keep monitoring movements which I do.

I would mention it and look into your options as tocophobia should be taken seriously for your mental well-being. There are different methods of monitoring that may be able to reassure you during labour that could be discussed x

I'd mention this to the midwife again and make sure she hears your concern. The worry usually doesn't stop at birth and you can continue worry about your and babies health afterwards. Best to address this anxiety as soon as possible. Hope all goes well.

I’ll try and mention it tomorrow at my appointment. I’m not scared of going through the birthing process - well I suppose I am as it’s completely new and unknown (FTM) but I think that’s a ‘normal’ worry, it’s the worry if something happening to baby or me (especially baby) that eats me up inside.

Have a look at the positive statistics, how many babies survive and thrive, how many mothers survive etc.

Hi OP, I’m only 17 weeks but this is on my mind! I wouldn’t say it’s ruling my thoughts but I’ve found, as helpful as MN is, sometimes it increases my anxiety with all the stories on here! I’m trying to limit my time on here and focus on positivity but it’s really hard as I’m petrified of stillbirth, I can’t imagine anything worse x

I know how you feel! Yes definitely talk to your midwife and make a point of saying how much it is eating you up. Not long to go now xx

I think this kind of anxiety can overwhelm us around birth, and I don’t think that’s so unusual. But do talk to your midwife about it.

In England, the NHS says that for babies older than 24 weeks, around 1 in 200 are still born. 1 in 200 is only 0.5% chance - so very low indeed.

You have already made it to 34 weeks, so your risks are getting less and less and less with each day that passes, they are positively tiny now

Just think of all the generations of women before you that gave birth so that you could be here and be about to give birth yourself. They all did it, and so can you. It’s a great club to be in. Hugs x

As above - will add, it’s 1/1000 basically now (higher numbers decrease as pregnancy goes on, as PP mentioned). Do talk to your midwife about it. X

Hi OP- same worries. How did you get on? I’m 26 weeks and keep panicking

My biggest fear was that my baby would die from oxygen deprivation during labour.
But then I still went and had a water birth. I'm so cross with myself looking back, it feels very selfish of me. It's harder for them to monitor the baby that way. If I could choose I would have a C-section. Yes it's more dangerous for the mother, but it's safer for the baby.
Looking at the current march for midwives campaign I would be even more anxious now than I was when I had my LO.