Anxious about pictures

[LJJ90]

I'm unsure why, during my
Pregnancy I have done a major clear out on social media, from 400+ followers to 90. Very close only.

I am now very anxious about people
Posting pics of my newborn online. I have had the conversation that they are not to as I won't be sharing any myself. Has anyone else been through this, I don't know why I am so very anxious about it!

Maybe pop a post up explaining your wishes? No one should post pictures of your child without your consent, but you do need to make it clear from the beginning.

@TwinkleStars15

Maybe pop a post up explaining your wishes? No one should post pictures of your child without your consent, but you do need to make it clear from the beginning.

I have explained, to which one of my friends said 'who are you a celebrity'

It's quite hard to get people to understand when it's become the norm really.

It might be helpful to unpick why you're so anxious about this. What is the worst that could happen if friends and family shared pictures of your child? What is the most likely outcome? What do you think is most likely to be the outcome?
I don't want to alarm but can I share my experience? I was brought up by a mum suffering severe anxiety and from phobias. She wasn't able to challenge her thinking as it became so entrenched. It made for a very difficult childhood and is still constraining her life and thinking in her ninth decade. Her anxiety started in very small ways when I was a baby and probably initially from concern for me.
Please, for your sake and your child's, don't let this escalate and seek help if necessary. Hope all goes well for you.

@gnushoes

It might be helpful to unpick why you're so anxious about this. What is the worst that could happen if friends and family shared pictures of your child? What is the most likely outcome? What do you think is most likely to be the outcome? I don't want to alarm but can I share my experience? I was brought up by a mum suffering severe anxiety and from phobias. She wasn't able to challenge her thinking as it became so entrenched. It made for a very difficult childhood and is still constraining her life and thinking in her ninth decade. Her anxiety started in very small ways when I was a baby and probably initially from concern for me. Please, for your sake and your child's, don't let this escalate and seek help if necessary. Hope all goes well for you.

More so that I am very careful about my following and who I have (very close friends and family only), the majority of my friends are not. They have 1000's of followers, 3 quarters of them that they do not even know. That's very concerning to me.

A friend of mine has a 1yr old, and each pic of him online is blurred out. She doesnt want his pic shown all over social media and I agree. Why dont you just do the same?

Can you not just remind people not to share any pictures if they take any or you send any?

How come you dont want any photos up? I dont have kids yet so I'm prob missing something obvious!

I wasn’t anxious over it, but we just don’t want our children on social media. We told people that we wouldn’t be posting and we expect them to follow suit, which everyone has done.
If anyone does post call them out on it straight away to remove the picture.

@gypsywater

How come you dont want any photos up? I dont have kids yet so I'm prob missing something obvious!

For me personally a lot of family issues etc. Which is why I'm very careful about who I have.

@LJJ90 Ah I see. I think be really clear and firm that you do not wish for any photos to be shared at all. Set clear parameters from the very start.

You need to rely on others respecting your wishes with this. But you can minimise the consequences of anyone going against them by changing your security settings to prevent you being tagged in photos by others.

I have a similar concern but will be advising family and friends we wish to keep pictures to a minimum and would appreciate them asking before hand! My siblings are the same and I request permission before I upload a photo of their kids - and generally is a special family photo rather than just generic photos!
I have extended family who don't know the boundaries which is bothering me already! But end of the day it's not their child and I wish to protect their privacy!

I've seen a friends friends children in a shop and known who they are and names etc which I find scary!

I would always ask before sharing a photo of someone else's child anywhere on social media, surely that's common decency. And they should follow your lead. If you don't post then they sure as hell shouldn't. People think they're entitled to regular updates and photos and they aren't. I think you can set something on Facebook so that if they tag you, you can review it before it shows on your page, but I don't think it stops it showing on theirs

I agree with you OP, I don’t understand why people post their children all over social media. I personally don’t post photos of anyone’s child. I actually did the same on my wedding day, I banned everyone from taking photos (a bit of a bridezilla moment, I admit) but it did mean there weren’t any photos of the day online. It’s not for other people to share no matter how close they are to you.
You could do a post if you intend to do a birth announcement without your child’s face and make it clear you won’t be sharing face/identifying photos and would ask others to respect that.

9/10 newish parents (say of five year olds and below I know have never put their kids pictures online. In some circles it’s become the norm.

We don't have pictures of my little boy on Facebook except for the very very rare occasion (I allowed one to be uploaded on daddy's 50th). Instead we upload what were doing as back of head shots, it became a bit of a running joke with friends and family and he became back of head baby along with his own hash tag, but it played out well, friends and family now follow suit an that's suits me quite well and they're reminded in a nice friendly was not to put his face out there on social media. Like you we have family issues which make me want to protect him from a social media presence.

My friend had a huge FB clear out when pregnant, then regretted it.
Remember anxieties you have when pregnant may not be present once baby is here.
You may want to keep your baby off social media (which is a absolutely fair enough) but you might want to shout from the rooftops.
Try not to worry about it. You’ve done the right thing asking people not to share photos. It isn’t a diva move at all.
Good luck with the birth 😍

@FirstTimeBumps love that!! 😍

My DH and I have made it clear to all our family and friends that we won’t have ANY photos of DC on social media. It’s simpler that way.

Occasionally someone posts one by mistake such as family gatherings, and we politely ask them to remove it. Nobody has got grumpy or made a fuss x

@FirstTimeBumps I have a few people on my social media who use the “back of the head” method, one of which is an 18 month old adopted little boy- my friends (the parents) upload pics such as holding Daddy’s hand walking away from the camera, back of head staring out to sea, in the parent facing sling with the parent facing the camera etc. Could be an option for you @LJJ90 ?

@LittleRa we have that exact sling picture haha. It was our first social media post when he was a few weeks old and the first many knew we had actually had a baby haha.