24wks, stress and huge loss of appetite...what damage have i done? long...

[PuppyDogEyes]

Hi

Over the last two weeks i have been really stressed about money, debt, house we are buying, not being able to provide baby with the lifestyle i had imagined (and planned) or that other relatives have etc...

I have been really irrational and teary (i think hormones were at work there).
I became so stressed about house prices, money, family relationships, loosing my parents in coming years etc, i lost all appetite.

I also lost focus and excitement about the baby. i couldn't see that he/she is a blessing and something to be loved and enjoyed. all i could see was expense and problems .

for about two weeks i was living on a glass of milk and a couple of toast each day. everything else made me want to vomit or i had a complete lack of appetite.

Things are a bit better, still not eating that much though. (reading posts on mumsnet has really helped!)

DH put me on multivit's.

I was a couple of stone overweight when i got preg, but only put on about half a stone during the pregnancy.

i am 24weeks preg (scans at 22weks showed everything including growth was fine) but now in a rational frame of mind I am worried whether I have done any damage to the baby?
either with the stress or food side?

Forget what you may have done and start looking after yourself better from now on.

Speak to your midwife.

Bumping for people with more knowledge.

You will have stores of what the baby needs and he or she will get first dibs on it - your body will make sure the baby is nourished before you are (advice in baby books I have read, I am not an expert). Second what NAB3 said - just look after yourself from now on!

Puppy
Please please don't worry. You won't have harmed your baby at all. Bub will take all it needs from your stores, you might lose weight but baby will be fine. Some women have extreme sickness throughout their pregnancy and their babies are fine so a couple of weeks won't hurt.
Having said that, stress isn't good for you or bub and there is something called pre-natal depression that isn't talked about alot. As the previous poster said you should have a chat with your midwife and see if you need any further support at this stage.
I went through something similar with DS1 at about the same stage. We moved house to a real dump (a doer-upper) and I hated it, was working full time and got really down and depressed. He's a fine boisterous 3yo now and we're expecting DS2 in a couple of weeks.
Preg hormones make everything seem worse. Don't beat yourself up about it, you will get through it, allow yourself some recovery time and don't suffer in silence.
phee

PuppyDogEyes - try to forget about the worries for the moment and think of the following:

1. The thing your baby needs most is your love - he/she will be too little to know or care what material goods are provided, but as long as you love/support him/her, they will be happy. Perhaps your better off relatives can hand you down some stuff they used or buy you something useful for the baby? It is easy to worry about not having the right stuff, but you can manage without a lot of it.

2. I was extremely sick during my 1st pg and put on very little weight. I could not eat for months due to illness, but my baby was a good weight - your baby will be nourished before you!

Try not to worry - people do experience stress in pg and the thing to do is to forget about what is already in the past and try to reduce stress from now on.

Hope you feel better soon

I agree. I don't think you'll have done any damage tot he babe. You may have depleted your stocks of vitamins and minerals though. Vitamin supplements are a good idea.

The baby won't notice anything about its room for a number of years! Don't worry about that. Buying stuff (don't know if you have) and then getting stressed because your short will be counterproductive.

We won't have much money to start off with either. We're buying a tiny little house with a huge mortgage.

Don't stress. My friend recently set up a playmat outside with her 6 month old and a load of toys and the baby got completely fascinated with an ant! My other friend's favourite toy is her spoon! She won't touch anything else. My favourite thing when I was a babe was a plastic cup in the bath to play with the water. All will be fine.

Best of luck.

All the best.

I had hyperemesis, lost 3 stone and literally did not eat or drink a single thing for at least 10 days. Before that I had thrown up everything I ate for months.

I am now 26 weeks and the baby is normal size for the dates. While I was so weak I couldn't walk, the baby seems to have taken all the nutrients it needed from me.

I am sure you will be fine. If there are some relaxation exercises you can do, or a pregnancy yoga class, that might help with the stress.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Wow, I'm so blown away by your kind and reassuring messages! (stop myself from getting teary at your kind words and my stupidness!! Bl**dy hormones!!)

I've read and reread each message and will definately do as you suggest.

Pheebe - i'm going to keep an eye on my emotions and discuss pre-natal depression on my next MW appointment. its reassuring to know that you went through the house pressures and made it out the other side!

Crokky - Thank you. SIL a big snob, and i will expect the judgement, but who cares eh??! I'm really pleased and reassured that your baby was a good weight despite your difficult pregnancy.

Susiemj - I read your message on another thread a few days ago, and found it really reassuring to know that the baby doesn't need all the latest stuff from all the magazines and baby showrooms.

Sideways - I'm so sorry your having such a difficult pregnancy, it really put things into perspective for me. And i'm so pleased that your baby i doing well.

Once again, thank you ALL for replying, your messages are so helpful!

PDE