So I'm on my third trimester, I'm 30 weeks today. I'm really struggling with this. I got pregnant quickly after my son was born, mistake I know but I can't be helped now. So here's what I'm struggling with:
- My son is 9 months old now, and he's at a very needy and clingy stage. I'll do everything I can to make sure he's okay and fed and rested etc, and even when I've done literally everything I can possibly do, he still cries. Or if I've been sat with him and he's okay, I'll decide to get up to find myself something to eat and as soon as I leave the room he cries, calms down when I come back in and then starts crying again when I sit down to eat. So I find myself constantly having to sit with him on the floor, which hurts my back, I can only eat when he's asleep or he's got his own meals/snacks, my partner suggested giving him a snack whenever I have food but since I have to eat pretty much all the time I'd be over feeding him and I can't do that. I got back pains when pregnant with my son and I do this time too, and at night I have to carry him up to bed on my own, all the while trying to step over our kitten (who can't go out yet because we can't afford to get him vaccinated etc yet), and it hurts my back and I get nervous that I'll fall down the stairs.
- my fiancé doesn't seem to realise that I'm struggling this much. I'll tell him, every single day, but I don't think he knows exactly how much I'm struggling. He works at Tesco as a shift leader, so his shifts are either 5:30am-3:00pm, 10:00am-6:00pm or 2:00pm-11:00pm. And I struggle with all of these, but most of all I struggle when he's on the later shift, 2-11. It's hard to take my son to bed or carry him down the stairs, and the house is quite messy a lot of the time, and I have very little time to tidy it. My fiancé says he'll help out, he says he'll do the washing up and a few other big jobs and he does, he's very helpful, but he's not helpful in the right areas. He leaves rubbish everywhere and gives our son his food on the floor rather than in his high chair so the floor often has crumbs and bits of bread all over it, he only ever gives our son the same or similar things for his meals when I ask him to make him food. I'll tell him how tired I am and he says 'yeah well I'm tired too, you told me we don't get much rest now we have kids so that's what I'm going to tell you. I have to go to work and you have to look after the house and kids, that's our jobs now' so obviously that upset me, and he doesn't seem to realise how much of a toll being pregnant takes on your body, I need to rest for me and for his baby daughter who I'm carrying and he doesn't seem to realise it.
- I tell people, like my mum and my fiancé's mum, about how I'm feeling etc but they don't always help that much at all. Today, my mum has left me on read and then 10 minutes later she messaged a group chat that I'm in too. And my fiancé's mum just says 'not long to go' or she sends face palm emojis, or she complains about something too. They'll give me advice, but it's always either something I know and am doing already or it'll be something I can't actually do
Am I in the wrong for struggling with this? Should I just be getting on with it and stop complaining? Because whoever I talk to agrees with me, but they don't really do much to help me out and they don't give me much advice.