How do you cope with the worry?

[JanQi]

I got my first ever BFP this week and even though I'm excited, I'm completely overwhelmed with anxiety and worry about what could go wrong. I'm only 4-5 weeks at the moment.

I have anxiety and tend to catastrophise but if this is what I'm like a few days in, I'm not sure I can cope with another 8 months of it! It's putting a downer on what should be a happy time. I'm 28 and logically I know my chances of MC are low and there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening anyway but I can't seem to get my brain to switch off and stop overanalysing every symptom.

How do/did you keep yourself calm and minimise pregnancy worries? DP and I are also in the process of buying a house so I'm desperate to reduce the stress!

As an anxiety sufferer I was a total mess in my first trimester as I was smack in the middle of Covid too and it was horrendous not being able to go out and just sitting at home and overthinking everything.
Pregnancy yoga and meditation really helped me calm my mind, as that was all that available to me during lock down.
You are obviously have more options now so try and keep yourself busy, but obviously don't over do it!
Keep talking too. Don't bottle it up otherwise you will make it worse.
Positive thoughts OP and congratulations 💐

I felt exactly the same in the first few weeks, I couldn't imagine how people can do 8 months of this. It does get easier though. You break it down into little milestones - 12 week scan, 20 week scan, 24 week viability etc. I found that in those early days it helped to tell myself "I'm pregnant today" and try to just enjoy that without thinking about the future too much.

Also - and this can be helpful or the exact opposite depending on your personal preferences - I did use something called the "Miscarriage Odds Reassurer". You put in your gestation and it tells you the % chance of your pregnancy resulting in a baby. You can see the odds improve each day. Some people would find that very unhelpful but it worked for me!

I felt the same as you at first. Every day I was so concerned that it would be the day the baby didn’t “stick” and I felt sick with worry. I am 32 weeks now and that anxious feeling has got easier as time has gone on. Please be kind to yourself, those first few weeks are hard mentally especially as you can’t easily talk to anyone. Do you feel able to talk to your DP about how you feel?

I can totally relate. I'm such a worrier and pregnancy was horrendous. For my first, I was beside myself with worry- absolutely convinced something bad was going to happen. What helped me cope? Knowing there was sweet FA I could do about it. I was out of it for 7 months due to severe HG and the only thing that helped was to keep as busy as I could (energy permitting) and think about anything other than the baby. What also helped was having a chat with the MW. She said although I'd be given an ultrasound and regular checks would be made (I have an underlying health condition which puts me at high risk), the medical profession only deems it a 'viable pregnancy after 20 weeks'. That really helped put things in perspective for me.

It does get easier though. You break it down into little milestones - 12 week scan, 20 week scan, 24 week viability etc.

Totally agree, I lived from one scan to the next.

Not really sure how to put this into words but I'll try lol. There was a sight that told me the percentage chance of miscarrying every week and every week it got less. So when it said 10% chance and I got worried, I would think to myself imagine it was the other way round. There was a 90% chance of loosing it and 10% chance of not loosing it that would seem terrible. So then when I looked at it the proper way it seemed good. I also thought of all the millions of people for hundreds of years that had babies while smoking , drinking , doing drugs and didn't have a miscarriage .

Thanks for the responses, they've genuinely been really helpful and it's comforting to hear from other people who have experienced the same thing.

The MC reassurer site has actually really helped! I definitely think I'm going to try some yoga/meditation to just generally calm me down too.

@Applesandlemons

I felt the same as you at first. Every day I was so concerned that it would be the day the baby didn’t “stick” and I felt sick with worry. I am 32 weeks now and that anxious feeling has got easier as time has gone on. Please be kind to yourself, those first few weeks are hard mentally especially as you can’t easily talk to anyone. Do you feel able to talk to your DP about how you feel?

I do and he tries to be understanding but gets frustrated because he thinks I'm being negative and putting a downer on things. He just thinks I need to chill out which, to be fair, is probably true!

Congratulations! The first 12 weeks can be a long slog. I was terrified. I had a mmc last year at 8 weeks and found out at a scan at 9 weeks. It truly made me fear every moment up to 12 weeks in this pregnancy. Like the others, I had little milestones in my head, week by week until 12 week scan, then 16, 20 and 24. I'm now 37+4 and the last few weeks of pregnancy seem to be just as long of a slog as the first few weeks! In my first pregnancy I absolutely refused to even look at the miscarriage percentage calculator or even type the word. I still miscarried. This pregnancy, I checked it regularly and knew that I'd been in an unfortunate 4% last time and felt like the odds had to be on my side this time.