1st trimester but already terrified about birth

[Slat3]

I’m due #3 and it’s only early but I am already terrified about giving birth.

DC1 I had an epidural and it wasn’t great tbh but mostly painless (apart from when it wore off when I was fully dialated so they topped it up!).
DC2 I had g&a, I was begging for an epidural but things kicked off fast when they broke my waters. I was thinking of ways to kill myself to put me out of the pain & totally lost the plot (genuinely so out of control) when she got back in the room with my diamorphone injection I was pushing uncontrollably - I feel I had no control whatsoever over my body or my choices and they were stalling pain relief.

I’m basically now worried about labour again & wondering why the hell i decided to do this! Does anyone have any advice? I’m thinking either should I try a water birth, maybe that will make me feel more in control & less pain OR ask for an epidural straight away & don’t let them break my waters until I have one (if it comes to it).

I’m torn because I felt like superwoman after #2 - when the pain was over! But it was so intense, scary & just painful!

So a story for you..!

My lovely friend has a very bad first birth. She did some NCT classes, and felt pretty prepared at the time, but on the day was completely overwhelmed and panicked by the pain and chaos.

For her second birth, she decided she wanted to do it differently and did a hypnobirthing course. She came away raving about it, and had her second DC in the water at an MLU, feeling totally in control and empowered by the experience.

Lucky for me, I had my DC1 after she had been through all of this, so I took her advice and went straight to hypnobirthing! I was fortunate to then have an amazing (painful, yes, but quick and empowering) first labour.

So I guess what I'm saying is, just because you've had two babies and bad experiences, it doesn't mean this one can't be different. Start a hypnobirthing course now! - lots of people on here recommend Positive Birthing Company.

Personally my course followed the teachings of Maggie Howell's Natal Hypnotherapy - she also does an online course.

x

It's fairly normal. I wasn't keen on birth last time and frankly it was pretty awful, so much so that this time I'll be asking for an elective. But remember your body has done this twice, you're a rockstar! You know what you want and what you need to manage the pain so make sure it's clear in your birth plan. And do chat to your midwife about how you feel