Guilty about being pregnant with No 2, what are your age gaps?

[Merrz]

DD is 19 months and just found out i'm pregnant with no 2. Took us a year to conceive DD, so we decided to start ttc again when DD was 18 months, but after taking a year 1st time did not expect to get a BFP our first month of properly ttc. I'm totally over the moon but have a horrible feeling of guilt for DD, she is spoilt rotten, she's our absolute world and i feel awful that she will have to share us. This is so trivial in the great scheme of everything and as much as i'm very excited to have another baby and relived that we won't have to go through the stress of a long ttc journey again (although i know it is very early days) i really didn't expect it to happen so quick and feel like DD will still be so young.

25 and 4.
It’ll be absolutely fine and I’m sure she will love the new baby. I think it’s great (but very tiring!) to have two so close together.

DD1 is 6.5 and I’m 36+3w with DD2. I panicked about being pregnant again in spite of TTC for over a year and desperately wanting a second DC. I think it’s natural to feel that way.

We had a slightly smaller age gap and we made sure dd was very involved and looking forward to the birth of her brother.

They have always been best friends. They even work together now.

It will be lovely

4 years. Didn’t feel guilty at all but they don’t get on and eldest routinely reminds us that she never asked for a sister. Well tough luck, buddy, you got one! She did concede that last night that they’ll probably be best friends when they’re older.

Just less than 2 years between my two, it's been hard but at 2.5 and 4.5 it's begging easier!

26 months between mine. It was hard work in the early days but fine now. Eldest doesn’t remember a time before my second was born. Seeing their relationship is lovely. It’s an amazing thing having a sibling to grow up with. Don’t waste your pregnancy with guilt and worry, it’ll all be fine.

16 months between mine and, like you, I felt terribly guilty when pregnant with no.2. However, benefits were that oldest was still young enough not to feel any real jealousy and now they’re the best of friends and keep each other company which was a godsend in lockdown! Don’t worry, the guilt will go.

itll be the making of her having to learn to share, does no harm at all, my 2 eldest have a 3 year age gap, this baby will be 12 years, and 9 years younger than their siblings

My 1st and 2nd have a 5 1/2 year age gap, I felt horribly guilty for not giving my 1st a sibling sooner. My 2nd was only 7 months old when i became pregnant with my 3rd (i again had trouble like you thought it would take time but first cycle and boom). Again i felt guilty for 2nd being so young. Now pg with 4th and have a 5 yr ago gap again between 3rd and 4th.

There is no right or wrong age gap and you feel guilty each way tbh, mum guilt is the constant we could all do without but will always be there

My LB is 18 months old and I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with twin boys..
Im more than grateful as I know how people struggle to get pregnant at all, but I can't help but be completely dreading it. I sometimes feel like I wish I wasn't pregnant or wish it was just a singleton for the massive impact it will have on my boy. I just have to assume it will be hard but all be ok. And I know that they will grow up close in age and (hopefully) look after each other when it comes to school time. And that will eventually outweigh the struggles at the beginning.
I'm just going to try and find little things that he can help me with to help with the twins so he doesn't feel left out like passing me wipes and nappies etc, get him involved so he doesn't feel left out.
Congratulations @Merrz I'm sure your little one will love being a big sister and will love the new baby xx

18 months between my sons.

Thanks for the replies, very true i guess there is no right or wrong age gap and like you say
@PasstheBucket89 I know it will do her good really

Ds1 will be 23months when next baby is due. They'll be close in age but close in love. 😘

My situation was very similar except I was pg very soon after dc1’s first birthday.
It was very hard going but you have an extra 6 months on me. A smallish age gap is really really good once you get past roughly 2.
I was really shellshocked and in denial for weeks though. Reality only kicked in when I started ballooning at 20 something weeks. I managed somehow to not tell work until 21 weeks.

Very similar situation to you in that we started to not take precautions, but not actively trying, as it took a while to fall pregnant with DD.

Currently 15+5 and DD will be 2y4m when her sibling arrives. Nervous about how she will take it as she is used to our undivided attention but I’m hoping it will all work out well

12 months between my boys. It was the best thing for them. The are inseparable and adore eachother. Probably not the best thing for me though

Hi OP, there are 17 months between my eldest two - boy and girl - and it was great. Hard work at times particular with a baby and toddler but once my daughter was walking and talking they were the best of friends - my son used to stand outside my daughter's closed bedroom door in a morning waiting for her to wake up Also anywhere we went they had each other and always ran off to play so that I could often sit and have a coffee/look at a magazine We were similar in that it had taken a long time to have our son so we started tentatively trying again and I fell pregnant straight away. They are still good friends now they are teens.

Good luck and enjoy it!