Too soon for baby #2?

[MrsHJFL]

Hi everyone.

4 weeks ago I gave birth to my first baby. He's absolutely perfect and his daddy and I are just in absolute awe of him😍

My husband and I have always said we want more then 1 baby, and would like to give our son a brother or sister one day. It's also important to us both that our son and next child are close in age.

My husband has pretty much said that he's ready to try again for number 2 already haha! (incase it takes a while to get pregnant)
I'm not quite ready JUST yet, still recovering from the birth of my son😅. But I was thinking about maybe trying again once my son is about 6 months old... But potentially earlier?

My husband and I were very lucky and got pregnant very very quickly last time (took us a week of trying!) so I'm approaching the next time we decide to try as.. It'll happen straight away again.

Basically...i was wondering if you think it's too soon to try? Did any of you try again straight away? If so how did it work out for you?

What's the age gap between your children?

Any thoughts/ advice/experience would be greatly appreciated xxx

It really depends on a couple of things like whether you had a c section? How long you plan to breastfeed for? Can you afford it?? Although people DO get pregnant whilst breastfeeding it can and does inhibit ovulation until you stop. So I guess you need to weigh up breastfeeding for 12 months vs stopping at 6 months expressly because you want to TTC?

With a c section the recommendation is not getting pregnant for 12 months? Not sure if the same advice stands If you have a natural birth but have to be cut/stitched?

I always wanted 3 children with a 2 year age gap in between but we suffered terrible secondary infertility and my c section led me to lose both tubes to ectopics so as well as miscarriages we had to do 5 rounds of IVF - bit of a car crash experience really. But I'm now pregnant with twins and there will be nearly 5 years between DD and the new babies

I was upset about the age gap at first but actually it works for us as I work full time and full time childcare costs are horrendous - no way we'd be able to afford more than 1 child in full time childcare at a time (the twins will decimate us financially and we are having to take out a 10 year loan to cover 2 years of childcare) so it was better we waited until DD started school/got 30
Hours childcare. Also she's independent enough to mean I won't feel guilty about focussing on the new babies - I won't have a toddler that also needs toilet training as well as young kids etc

I would recommend you wait until the honeymoon period is over and reality with a baby starts to kick in. It's all lovely at the moment but you're still full of hormones and it's all very new.

It also depends on whethere you had a c section as I think they recommend to wait at least a year.

I would personally just take the time to enjoy your son and try for another when he gets more independent.

In the nicest way possible, I think it'd be absolutely insane! But I do understand the feeling, when I held my daughter for the first time I instantly wanted another one!

She was a dream newborn, I don't think she cried for the first 3 months of her life, which lulled me into a lovely sense of false security. From about 6 months until now (13months) has been soooo much more difficult, we are trying again now but I'm really glad we didn't try earlier, I can't imagine dealing with a newborn and a very young toddler that needs a lot of attention!

If you conceived quickly last time then I'd say you've got the time to wait and see (and time for the real sleep deprivation to kick in )

Thank you everyone. I had a natural birth and am formula feeding. Also we are both confident we could afford a second child.

But yes, maybe waiting till atleast the 6 month mark, maybe a year would be best.. 🤔🤔

Honestly I think it’s lovely that you’re so in love with your baby but I also think in the nicest way you’re insane!😂

They lull you into a false sense of security at first, about 8 weeks my DS went through this stage of being a Velcro baby and would not be put down despite having been so bloody content for the first 8 weeks. He slept reasonably well until teeth and the 4 month sleep regression and it’s just been tooth after tooth since! He’s amazing and I’d love another one of him some day but I feel with another baby so close in age i wouldn’t truly be able to enjoy him, it goes so quickly just soak it up! He’s just started moving and I now need eyes in the back of my head, I cannot imagine being heavily pregnant or having another baby at this point, I think I’d have had a breakdown! Even if you wait until a year, an 18 month age gap is manageable and you’ll have been able to focus all your attention on your son as you blink and they are nearly a year old and crawling around, wrecking the place!

I also think you're a bit nuts to be thinking about number 2 yet.

Give your body a year to heal. I had a pretty way first birth but it took ages for my body to feel normal again.

My two are bang on 2 years apart and I think if I had my time again I'd have waited longer. Pregnancy with a toddler is hard, with a 6 month old who can't walk or feed itself would be even harder. The insomnia combined with night wakings also took a huge toll on me.

Add to that I think my son wasn't old enough to understand about his sister and some issues he has can be traced back to feeling abandoned by me when baby came.

There is no rush. Enjoy baby 1 first.

The two women I knew who had a 14 month and 15 month age gap didn't leave the house much for about a year when they were dealing with effectively two babies, with different needs and schedules (perhaps harder than twins).

I'd say absolutely go for it! that's what life's all about xx me and my sis have have a 15 month age gap and it's the best thing ever. if you had a natural birth then maybe wait a little while till you feel you're recovered but if you're body is capable of getting pregnant again relatively soon after then it clearly knows what it's doing (obviously its different for people who have c-sections). a friend of mine had a baby born on two consecutive years both born on the same month! it's a little hectic but she wouldn't change it for the world she also carried on breastfeeding throughout her second pregnancy.

best of luck xxxx

It took your body 9 months to grow a baby. I've heard it said it takes about that long for your body to recover, even with a natural, uncomplicated birth.

Dd didn't sleep from 4-15 months...

Now unexpectedly pregnant with number 2 and there will be about a 25 months gap. I'm worried that's too small! I'd just started getting sleep again and wham!

Wait for the newborn sleepiness to wear off them see how you feel! Then wait for the 4 month sleep regression and then see..... I suspect you won’t feel quite so keen to do it again so soon. Enjoy your little one for now, those newborn days, they go so fast. You won’t have the luxury of snuggling up with nothing to worry about by baby cuddles and Netflix box sets when you have two!

My younger sibling was born 10.5 months after me (was 4 weeks early). It was an accidental pregnancy and my mum says it was such hard work having that small an age gap, that I grew up much quicker because she had to focus on the baby a lot more, she feels she missed out on a lot as it was too hard work for her to take both of us out. She feels she missed out on both of our baby/toddler years as she was just so busy to give us any undivided attention and relied on her parents help a lot. She was also unexpectedly poorly with her 2nd pregnancy and was in and out of hospital which meant she was away from me a lot which was hard given how little I was. Me and my sibling also don't get on at all and are complete opposite personalities and always have been so even as we got older it wasn't like we'd play together haha.

Given her experience I wouldn't want 2 that close together, however it has taken 2 years to conceive baby number 1 so I think we'll probably start trying again around the year mark knowing it could take a while.

My 1st 2 have an age gap of 11 months and between 2 and 3 there is a 13 month age gap.
It was hard don't get me wrong, but they are all the best of friends and it is lovely for them to be so close to eachother. They do argue a lot aswel but they always have eachother company. Hardest was definitely when they were all in nappies but it is definitely worth it ❤️