I'm not really sure where to begin :(
I'm 10w 4d pregnant. I've been with my partner for 13 years, since we were teenagers. Recently we decided to start trying and I felt incredibly lucky to fall pregnant on the second try.
Earlier this year, I found out he was in debt to the tune of approx £8,000. For at least a year he's been struggling to get out of bed, had mood swings and generally angry in the morning. I couldn't get him out of bed before 2pm. When I found out about the debts, he said it was due to a gambling addiction and that was causing his depression which made him behave that way. I tried to help, and 3 months later another kick in the teeth came when I found out he owed even more. This was all around April time.
He then said I knew everything, it was out in the open and things seemed good. He was 'normal' again, loving and more energetic. I fell pregnant, then he changed again. I struggled to cope with how he was acting and spoke to one of his family members.
She told me I had been blind, the reason he had lost weight, had a constant runny nose and mood swings was because he's addicted to cocaine. I was horrified. I've never touched the stuff in my life and I couldn't believe I had been stupid enough to live with him and not know.
As I'm pregnant, and he agreed to sign up for counselling and basically not go anywhere alone until we gradually get to a 'new normal', I decided we should give the relationship a go. It's been a long time, I love him and I want my baby to have both parents as a family unit.
Today he admitted that he cheated on me. It wasn't really an admission that came lightly, he was basically backed into a corner. He initially said it was 1 girl, a kiss in a club that meant nothing and it was 5 years ago. It changed when I said I didn't believe him, that's ridiculous and that one of our friends had recently told me a different story (she witnessed it). He then said it was actually 3 different girls, on nights out when he was about 19 and he massively regrets it, they meant nothing, it was drunken kisses and he doesn't want to lose me and our baby over this.
I feel like I need to point out that he's funny, loving and now he's stopped what he was doing, we've been so happy recently. I just don't think I can forgive this time though. It was 10 years ago (so he says) and never happened again since.
I don't know if I can forgive him. Should I try? At this point should I just call it a day as there is no trust left? I would really appreciate some advice.