Can't feel baby after huge row with OH

[TruffleMama]

Hi ladies. I think I'm after a bit of reassurance/advice really.

I'm 20 weeks today with my first pregnancy. For the past couple of weeks I have started to feel my baby moving around inside me. Fluttering and bubble-bursting like feelings which I have never felt before and are unlike any usual feeling I have in my tummy.

Last night, my OH and I had a huge row which carried on a bit this morning.
We have sorted it out now and drawn a line under it. We don't argue much, but yesterday was just one of those days were we were both tired, I was snappy and he didn't feel well.

Today I haven't been able to feel baby moving at all. I've had slight pain in my lower left tummy - I am telling myself it's just growing/stretching pains. I've tried to get baby to move by gulping down ice cold water, jumping up and down on the spot, giving my tummy a bit of a prod... but nothing.

Now I'm terrified and full of guilt that our argument has harmed our baby!

I spoke to my mother who said stress is no good for me or baby, but a heated argument is very unlikely to have done any significant harm to the baby.

I have my 20 week scan in 4 days time. I was looking forward to it but now I am dreading it for fear of being given the worst news

What are your thoughts?

Thanks in advance.. TruffleMama xx

So sorry about the row. I never argue with my OH, but we have had 2 bigs ones during this pregnancy, and it makes you feel so awful.
At 20 weeks your baby is still very small. The likelihood is that he/she has moved into a position that you can’t feel anymore.
Try not to worry, it’s very unlikely that an argument (that isn’t physical) would harm your baby.
cxxx

Any worries I'd call the early pregnancy unit/the midwives depending on who your first point of contact is!

20 weeks is very early to be feeling anything and at this stage the babies position makes a huge difference to how much you can feel them. You could always give the midwives a call and see what they say.

No expert but I would call your maternity unit where you’re booked in and ask a midwife to have a little listen in. My experience with midwives is that they’re more than happy to do this knowing how important reassurance is. Do take care.

Drink a very cold fizzy drink and lie on your left side for 30 min and see if you feel movements, if not call assessment centre.

I think sometimes the old "watched kettle never boils" saying applies - I found with DD the more I desperately searched for movements the less I'd feel them. Although mars bars always did the trick for me 🤣

If you are worried call your midwife, but what is most likely is baby has moved position to somewhere where it is harder to feel. They really won't mind you getting checked, midwives would rather check on 100 babies who are fine, then not see one who isn't.

I used to have a calipo ice lolly if concerned... Combination of ice cold and sugar hit would make baby move...

However so early on has likely just moved position....

If you are worried about it then do call your midwife or the hospital. But please do not worry about the row impacting the baby. It won’t have. It will have just been upsetting for you. It’s great you have drawn a line under it. But like I said, if you are worried do call your midwife/hospital. They’ll advise.

It's very early days for movement, I dont think the ice water trick would work (the baby wont know it's cold because it's not grown up near your stomach yet).

The likelihood is that he has just flipped into a different position so is now kicking towards your back rather than your front, so you cant feel it. But if you are concerned then ring your midwife or pregnancy unit.

The advice is that movements will be sporadic and inconsistent before 24 weeks so I'm sure it's perfectly normal. Think of women living through genuine terror, war, abuse etc who carry a pregnancy till full term.
That being said, serious arguments are definitely not great for your stress levels and should obviously be avoided if possible. And if you really do have serious concerns give the midwives a call. I'm sure they can offer better advice than any of us

I'm 19.5 weeks pregnant and the movements I feel are very sporadic - I might have a little burst then not feel anything for a day or two. I think (hope!) that's fairly common at this stage. By all means get in touch with your midwife though if it's causing you further stress.

I found if I had an emotional day where I kept crying irrationally (all hormones but cried like it was the end of the world) then baby would go quiet that day but was usually fine by bedtime/next day. But it is very early on so don't worry too much as you won't feel baby that regularly yet

Baby probably hiding way back in there nothing bad will happen because you shouted. Just try to relax, take it easy.
If you are still worried ring the doctor/midwife in the morning and they’ll have a listen for you.

Count the kicks. I dont remember the exact guidelines but have something sweet and lay on your left and count a specified number of kicks within a time frame. If you have less than the required amount call the EPU under 20 weeks or maternity unit if over 20 weeks and seek their advice. Sorry you had an argument and hope all is well.

You know what is normal for you and your baby. If you are concerned, get over to the EPU. They won't be annoyed and they won't think you're making a fuss.

I spoke to a midwife at 23 weeks with my son re concerns and she told me they wouldn’t expect for you to feel the baby everyday at that stage. Baby is too small x

Hi OP - as others have said it's very early but that doesn't mean you should ignore your concerns. On the front of your green notes there should be a number for triage - give them a call if you are worried. My midwife told me that a couple of weeks ago (at about 16wk). Hope all is ok x