First Time Mum - LOADS of Anxiety - HELP?!

[CheshireeeCattt]

Hi all,

FTM here, currently approx 8 weeks. Due date estimated to be 7th April by Midwife but 17th April by Flo app... not sure which is more likely but I'm thinking the 17th!

Verbal diarrhoea to follow, so thanks for reading in advance and any advice very welcome!

• My notes say high risk, does anyone actually know what that means in terms of extra scans/appointments/labour/etc?

I think she put me down as high risk due to having PCOS and I also had a tiny op to remove a small bit of my cervix 5 years ago, possibly also due to mental health issues at 16 and also stress at work more recently prompting a 6 week CBT course plus slightly reduced hours (back to normal now).

• Stress and exhaustion at work. Due to the type of job I have, it's very fast paced and uses a lot of mental energy. I'm a manager to 2 people plus co-manager of a large team of cleaners. I am so tired, all the time, I can barely concentrate and I'm almost in tears by the time I'm driving home due to being so tired. How have you managed this at work, and when am I likely to stop feeling so damn sleepy?!

• COVID SUCKS!!! My poor boyfriend can't come to any scans, appointments or check ups. We thought it might be special to have a private scan done just before the 12 week NHS one, so the 'first' scan is with us both, but is this a good idea?

Think my main concern is if it's not good news, is a private scan likely to pick up any problems that early, as it would be devastating to go to the private scan, think all is ok and then a few days later at the NHS one - something isn't right and I'm on my own...

• Living situation. Again, COVID SUCKS!!! Due to my partner being furloughed, we have to wait until his payslips are back to normal, so October before we can make any house buying offers, which only gives us approx 5 months to find a house, have the offer excepted and somehow exchange contracts and move in before baby arrives.

I really, really love my family and his parents, but I do NOT want to be living in someone else's house when baby arrives, and moving home a few weeks into new baby just seems pretty horrible just thinking about it. Any words of advice at all?

Thank you if you got this far, and congrats to all of the other Mums-to-be!!!

@CheshireeeCattt wow. That sounds like alot. I probably have no words of advice and only those of care and support. Pregnancy is tough...never mind adding everything else in that you are struggling with! I don't know for sure but I feel Asif a private scan would be just as thorough as a nhs one. We are also considering doing the same for exactly the same reason.
We are pretty similar with the living situation too. We are in the good position that we can start putting offers in though. We have told ourselves if it gets too close we will go into rental so we have time to settle before baby arrives. After that our deposit will stay in savings until something comes up we like. Not everyone's cup of tea but it has given me the peace of mind that we don't have to rush into a house we don't love.

Work sounds tough! I can't imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting it must be. Is there anyone at work you could speak to? Pregnancy aside, you don't want to become so stressed that you need more time off to manage.

Hang in there. Xxx

Hi @CheshireeeCattt sorry to hear you’re going through all this but rest assured you aren’t alone!
I am just behind you, 7 weeks pregnant with my first! Excited but like you’re describing very overwhelming!
I can comment about getting an early scan and I would advise getting a scan before! I had one at 6 weeks and seeing babies heartbeat with my partner next to me has really put my mind at ease! I bought a package deal for around £120 for 4 scans at any stage I like. I have booked in for another scan at 10 weeks so my partner can be with me again. Being alone for my first scan defiantly did not appeal to me or my partner so I would definitely recommend this. You’re right COVID does suck.
I’m trying to train myself to have the mental attitude that as long as I eat well, look after myself and rest as much as possible then I’ve done everything I can to give my baby the best start. Everything else now is out of my control and whatever will be will be- easier said than done but there’s no point stressing or worrying about things that are made up scenarios in my head!
Look after yourself and congratulations x

[quote Dolly031]@CheshireeeCattt wow. That sounds like alot. I probably have no words of advice and only those of care and support. Pregnancy is tough...never mind adding everything else in that you are struggling with! I don't know for sure but I feel Asif a private scan would be just as thorough as a nhs one. We are also considering doing the same for exactly the same reason.
We are pretty similar with the living situation too. We are in the good position that we can start putting offers in though. We have told ourselves if it gets too close we will go into rental so we have time to settle before baby arrives. After that our deposit will stay in savings until something comes up we like. Not everyone's cup of tea but it has given me the peace of mind that we don't have to rush into a house we don't love.

Work sounds tough! I can't imagine how physically and emotionally exhausting it must be. Is there anyone at work you could speak to? Pregnancy aside, you don't want to become so stressed that you need more time off to manage.

Hang in there. Xxx[/quote]
Thank you for your reply, how are you handling the housing situation, if you weren't to find somewhere in time? X

@Olive1701

Hi *@CheshireeeCattt* sorry to hear you’re going through all this but rest assured you aren’t alone! I am just behind you, 7 weeks pregnant with my first! Excited but like you’re describing very overwhelming! I can comment about getting an early scan and I would advise getting a scan before! I had one at 6 weeks and seeing babies heartbeat with my partner next to me has really put my mind at ease! I bought a package deal for around £120 for 4 scans at any stage I like. I have booked in for another scan at 10 weeks so my partner can be with me again. Being alone for my first scan defiantly did not appeal to me or my partner so I would definitely recommend this. You’re right COVID does suck. I’m trying to train myself to have the mental attitude that as long as I eat well, look after myself and rest as much as possible then I’ve done everything I can to give my baby the best start. Everything else now is out of my control and whatever will be will be- easier said than done but there’s no point stressing or worrying about things that are made up scenarios in my head! Look after yourself and congratulations x

Oooh I'm so happy for you, the scan is definitely something we are hoping to do together first! We haven't found anywhere that reasonably priced though, one scan is £70!!! Unless you asked if they could do a special offer?

Thanks for reminding me not to panic about things I can't control.

The whole spaced out, constipated, bloated belly and headaches every day is getting me down a bit though

Bless you, it's such an awful time to be pregnant!

In terms of the high risk, they have criteria, such as if you meet several 'mid risk' factors or just one 'high risk' factors this will automatically put you under consultant led care. At your routine scans you'll also have an appointment with the OBGYN doctor, where you'll be able to discuss why you're under this care and what 'extra' care you'll have throughout your pregnancy. You may get discharged from consultant led care partway through pregnancy if the doctor has no concerns.

With my first I was under consultant led care all the way through but they were happy for me to have a midwife led labour on the birthing unit, and second pregnancy I was discharged from consultant led care about 32 weeks and just had routine midwife appointments after that.