Deciding to breastfeed or not...

[Chicken123]

Growing up, I’ve always said if possible, I’d always breastfeed my child, but now I’m actually pregnant, I don’t know if I want to do it long term.

I will try and if successful, continue for a couple of weeks before I’d probably end up expressing.

I almost feel like if you decide to choose any other way of feeding your baby these days, it’s so frowned upon and other mothers really have their negative opinions of this whether it’s a personal choice or you literally just cannot do it.

I’m scared of being judged and I LOVE the idea of feeding my future baby, but I love the idea more of my fiancé being able to have this responsibility too and have another thing that helps the bond.

I don’t know.
My mind may change again, circumstances may change but I’m just surprised that after all this time, this is how I’d feel

I breastfed for the first few weeks. I hated it, but I had PND and PTSD after a traumatic birth and the breastfeeding aggravated things for me as I never got a break and felt really trapped. I had huuuge guilt at giving it up and moving to formula, but it was the right decision for my mental health and better for DD to have a mum who could cope a bit more.

I wish I'd been more well at the time. I'm slowly feeling better and could probably cope with it now, but she's happy and healthy and hitting all milestones.

Give it a go and see how you feel.

Partners don't need to feed baby to bond. As a bonding activity they would be better off doing all of the nappy changing. Lots of communication and interaction with baby, meeting an important need, multiple times of the day and night. Funnily enough it doesn't seem to be suggested very often...

For me it just seems sooo much easier to get through the tough part at the beginning and get breastfeeding established, then no having to make bottles in the middle of the night! I’ve got a co-sleeping cot so can just whip out boob.
Partner will have 2/3 weeks paternity and then back to work so I won’t be expecting him to do any night duties then, so don’t want to make work for myself just so he can do the odd bottle. He can change nappies and do cuddles instead.

It’s getting past that first week or so to get them established and once it’s going well you’re fine but find out what support there is if things don’t go so well and you need support or you Want to change to bottle feed ebm or formula. I think trying it and seeing how it goes is positive, being open to other ideas such as expressing or formula and not putting pressure on yourself too as it doesn’t always work out. I have 4 kids I fed 2 my self and 2 were breastfed so I’ve had experience of both. No1 I had a horrible birth and wasn’t well after had a transfusion and just felt rubbish, it just never really got off the ground despite some support. No2 was fab once I got past the pain but lots of support and he was a great feeder. No3 was very poorly at birth so in nicu but could feed but midwives/nurses didn’t support him being breastfed at all, asked to give him bottles so he was bottle fed. No4 was a dream fed till 15 months, it’s all different with every child I did try with each though.

But I think a happy fed baby is your priority, whichever way you fed them. Try bf, get support from hv/bf support parents/friends who have fed babies, buy nipple cream (lanolin was great for me) but have some bottles in I didn’t really express and their dad didn’t feel he missed out.

2 were bottle and 2 breast fed that was meant to say at the top, I’m clearly half asleep today

Dad can still get up in the night to keep you company, change nappy, clothes and sheets if necessary, and also for cuddles.

Do what you feel is best for you and your baby, you can always try bf and switch if it's not the right thing for you.

I'm pregnant with my first and am set on formula feeding, I'm a bit nervous of when it gets to an appointment where midwife asks my plans but I know it's the right decision for us as a family as I have a mild condition that affects my co ordination so sometimes I might need DH to help feeding them especially whilst recovering from labour at least and I can't stand the thought of being hooked up to a breast pump.
(I haven't mentioned my condition on my maternity notes as when you google it the results are pretty bad from first glance when it's actually something that you can learn to adapt with, just a lack of sleep makes it worse).

I didn't consider anything other than breastfeeding. I know it's a bit ridiculous to say so but I honestly didn't know anyone formula fed from birth by choice. I thought it was only if bf didnt work out.

With my first we tried for ages and ages to get him to take a bottle and I expressed loads just so I could go to a hen do for 6 hours when he was 5 months.

With DC2 I had no such event to go to so never bothered. Bottle feeding seems like such a hassle. Expressing is tedious enough, making up bottles was always going to be way too much hassle for me so I couldn't ever be bothered with ff.

I’m currently bf my 3 month old. It took till about week 10 before things got easier. Once you’re established there’s no time for expressing and it will cause you more stress than anything. I’ve always given a bottle of formula in the evening as that’s when I struggle with supply. Also I didn’t want to wait weeks and then have a baby that refuses a bottle.
I’m taking it week by week. It’s a lot easier now, especially for night feeds. My dh does the nappy and I feed. But it’s hard as I have a baby that doesn’t nap, is grumpy and ends up feeding a lot. It feels that some days all I do is feed. And that’s with a 4 year old who I struggle to give attention to.
There’s benefits to both bf and bottle feeding. I would go into it with a very open mind and not set you heart on bf as it’s much more challenging than it’s advertised to be!

The judgement really depends on who you socialise with and where you live.

I’m in a very middle class area with exceptionally high breastfeeding rates; as a result, I was very much the odd one out at baby groups for formula feeding and had to field lots of ‘are you sure you made the right decision’, ‘aren’t you worried about her immunity’ and ‘God that looks like such a faff, I don’t know how you do it’.

Luckily although I’m quiet, I can be a pretty tough cookie and came up with some great one liners to stop people in their tracks. It was no one’s business but our own, and FF worked beautifully for our family. I also have lots of friends with kids already so didn’t feel the need to make bonds unless I connected with another mum (which I did with a few).

I’d say make a decision based on what works for YOU. The baby group phase is so short in the grand scheme of things, and once they are toddlers no one gives a stuff how you fed - they’re too busy worrying about their little one’s speech/balancing work and childcare/knackered from toddler tantrums!

Incidentally, I’m a primary teacher and have never once been able to work out which children in my class were BF or FF. I’m more concerned that they are simply fed, healthy and happy!

Breastfeeding is very hard.

Kellymom.com is the bible.

PLEASE do your research otherwise you'll end up giving up anyway.

Your DH doesn't need to feed baby to bond.

I did all feeds and night feeds. DS1 breastfed until 2y8m and DS2 has just given up at 4 years old.

We have four babies so far in my nct group all ~2 weeks old and we have a mix of feeding from exclusive bf to bf/expressing to bf/expressing/formula for various reasons. I wouldn't be surprised if won't have the complete set before long and have a solely formula fed baby too. There's been no judgement just support. A fed and happy baby and a calm and happy mum are the only goals.