Partner not willing to participate with hypnobirthing

[Lottieloux]

Hey I’m 22+3 ftm expecting my 🌈. I’ve signed up for a hypnobirthing course and when I mentioned watching the videos together when I’m 30 weeks to my partner he is against it as “it’s a waste of time” for him. It’s been a battle to even get him to agree to being in the room during labour but he has came round. Is it possible to successfully hypnobirth without my partners help?

Tbh I'd just tell him he's not wanted and find a supportive birthing partner. Tbh you're not going to want someone there who isn't supporting you. You prob won't notice his lack of presence anyway if all he's doing is standing in a corner. His loss

Did t do a hypnobirthing course but I doubt my partner would have be interested in doing it with me either. It's not his thing and he doesn't take on information that way. That said if I had done the course he would have been interested in talking through what I had learnt in the course and probably watching specific bits of the videos that I thought would be relevant for him.

I did most of the reading in preparation for labour and I spoke with him about what I found and what I wanted in child birth and what I needed from him. In the end what I need was encouragement to call triage when I was struggling - he picked up that my need to poo probably meant I was further along than I thought and he gave me a and of chocolate and a drink midway through the pushing stage.

You know yourself and your partner better than we do, do what you need to do to feel prepared then figure out how you can give your partner the skills and knowledge to support you in fulfilling this.

I would also recommend a different birthing partner OP. Would you feel comfortable with your mum or a friend / relative being there? Or you could hire a doula. It would be one less thing to worry about when the time comes.

You may find he becomes more interested the closer you get to due date.
I’d recommend you go ahead and watch the videos. Then start dropping info to him.
I guess the birth will still feel quite a long way away for him. But he might come round.
If he doesn’t, have a very detailed birth plan and have him understand your decisions. Take a pair of headphones and zone out when in labour x

It’s not about him op, you carry on with your videos regardless. Pregnancy doesn’t seem to feel real to many men on here until there is a baby in the room so just do what you need / want to do and he can dip in and out as needed.

I think he should be undertaking some counselling to enable him to support you as the mother of his child. You're planning to spend the rest of your life and to raise children with this man. It's reasonable to expect that you or your children may need to be in hospital at some point, stating with childbirth. It's not really enough for him to opt out of things like this because he doesn't like hospitals. He knew what was involved when he agreed to have a child with you.

In labour you should have someone 100% supportive of you!!

My DH is my rock and my spokesperson during labour (awaiting baby no3!). When you are in pain, with medication, throwing up, wtv, your labour companion is the one who still has a good head on their shoulders to talk to the medical personnel.

Don't get sucked in the trend of having your partner with you during labour (and a great trend!!! I hope it doesn't go away!!!!). Before it was mothers. I would NEVER have my mum there. She disagrees with me when it comes to labour (I'm for natural birth, she's epidurals and csection).

Good luck!!!