Should have been my due date

[Pukeymama]

Next week should have been my due date for a baby I miscarried at 8 weeks at the start of the year and I can't get it off of my mind.

I'm so so lucky because I am now almost in my third trimester with another pregnancy but I feel so emotional that I should now be waiting for labour to start at any moment.

Through out this current pregnancy I luckily haven't had too much fear or anxiety considering I had a miscarriage so I'm surprised it's now hitting me so hard.

Has anyone else experienced this even when lucky enough to be pregnant again? I'm hoping after next weekend is out of the way it will feel like closure I can focus on the new pregnancy.

Haven’t experienced this, but wanted to offer my sympathy. Sorry that you’re feeling crap.

I was horrendous on what would have been my due date. I went into work and got sent home after half an hour because I was obviously upset and my work knew the history and were really understanding. I found it incredibly difficult. Especially when someone who didn't know the situation was sharing pictures of their baby that had just been born on a group I was on. I wasn't pregnant at the time, but I did fall pregnant about a month later. Even when I fell pregnant I couldn't stop thinking about the first pregnancy and would feel incredibly sad about it. In fact actually writing this I still feel sad about it. I think it's completely normal to feel like that, it's a very sad thing to happen. Just because you're pregnant now doesn't mean you've forgotten about your first one. It does significantly easier though. I still think about my first pregnancy sometimes, but nowhere near as often as I thought I would in that week when it was meant to be my due date.

Sending you lots of care.

Thank you both for your kind messages. I'm sure once the date has been and gone I'll feel better again.

I've had three MC (one recently) but from the first two I didn't mentally move on until the due date had passed.

It was my due date for the baby I miscarried in January on Thursday there. I'm 12 weeks pregnant which I think did make it a little easier but it was still awful. I cried a lot, we went to the remembrance garden at the crematorium where our babies ashes are spread and my partner got me lovely flowers. Be kind to yourself x

@Pukeymama sorry your feeling like this is can sort of relate I was pregnant when I was 19 and my due would have been early December which is also when a colleague was due her baby. My boyfriend at the time wasn't supportive and I was too scared to tell my parents and so was convinced into a termination.
So although I 'chose' to no longer be pregnant I still felt the way you do now. I'm now 28 pregnant with what would be my 3rd pregnancy, but 2nd that I've continued, with twins (due December - beginning due to early delivery plan for fact of twins) I don't get these feelings anymore but I often still think I could be having my 3rd and 4th right now rather than 2nd and 3rd and I often think about that baby too what they'd be like and how I'll have never known which makes me very sad especially as less than 2 years later he was with someone else and they were pregnant with their son.
As others have said. Be kind to yourself, it's natural and ok to feel the way you are. A loss of any kind is sad. But of your own baby I think is likely the worst. Take care x

I had an MMC at 12 weeks and my due date was 27th December. We always go out somewhere really nice for the day, we've been to the zoo, an NT place, a pretty village for a wander. As it was Christmas time I couldn't face being with extended family and we've kept it as being a special day just for us. It feels a lot easier to cope with doing something positive, I then light a candle in the evening and sometimes have a little cry but it's easier that the day is almost over.

I’m so sorry, OP. I think that’s a very normal way to feel. I hope you get through the day ok and manage to find a way to honour the baby you lost.

Good luck with your new arrival when the time comes

Thank you all for your lovely messages, I'm actually feeling a bit better today but I'm sure it will be a wobbly week and I look forward to when the date has passed. Reassuring to know it's a very normal way to feel xx

I felt the same with my miscarriage and due date even though I was pregnant again too . After my DS was born I rarely thought about my first pregnancy like that though . And when it did occasionally come to mind I would remind myself that my DS wouldn’t exist if my first pregnancy had been successful. That definitely made it easier for me .

I had exactly the same. My due date was 10th of may this year, I was 12 week pregnant with my current pregnancy when it came around, the exact same gestation that I lost that pregnancy. The day was melancholic, I was constantly on the brink of tears all day and the day just felt still and a bit cold. The date of my miscarage is approaching (october) and I'll be 2 weeks from my current due date. When this baby is born I think it will be very emotional, as I'll see what my other baby may have looked like too. I dont think I've felt with the miscarage as such as this has been hard to write

Sorry for your loss. I've not had a miscarriage so this is not the same as your experience, but I've had a suspected very early chemical. I conceived one of my children a couple of months later. The way I chose to see it is the child who is born is the one who is meant to be in the world and the other one passed so the other one could come. And your other baby will always be a part of you. x

Yes, I am pregnant and miscarried twice before this one. I won't forget the two that didn't make it.

My second miscarriage was at the weekend I was due from the first. With the second pregnancy and i didn't focus on the due date to avoid thinking about it when the time comes round again.

Take some time to remember the one that didn't make it and then focus your energy on the new baby