Do you feel sexy as a pregnant woman?

[carlablack]

By "sexy" I don't mean having sex drive or the perfect body. I mean, feeling confident in your own skin, wanting to dress up etc.

Since the beginning of my pregnancy, I feel kind of disconnected from my body. It's not about body being ruined physically as I haven't gained much weight and look pretty good as a 25 week pregnant lady. But I still don't feel good anymore in my own skin. Despite all my flaws, I used to love my body taking pride in the little amount of muscle I made and wore pretty underwear and feel like a million dollars.

This also translates into our intimate life. Even when we were TTC I kept having negative feelings and could not focus on the act. DH keeps telling me how great I look and how well I'm tolerating being pregnant physically and mentally but deep inside I don't believe this.

Is this pregnancy hormones doing tricks on my brain? How do you feel? I want my old self image back

You've got 16 more weeks of pregnancy then you'll ping back to a similar shape (different story with 2nd pregnancy ). It's such a short time.

I just used to be amazed at my body's new job: growing a baby, delivering a baby, feeding a baby. The female body is a miracle!

It sounds like you're nervous about what's to come, and projecting it onto your self-image. Be thankful that you're enjoying a healthy pregnancy and keep focused on all the positives about what's to come.

Hi! I totally understand what you mean. I am 22 weeks and although I'm so grateful to be pregnant, I find that I have a negative body image. It's not even my bump because I think it's pretty cute and I, like you, haven't put that much weight on but I just don't feel like myself. I feel totally disconnected and like I'm putting myself 'on hold' until the baby is born. I don't feel sexy at all and really don't want my partner to have to be intimate with someone who looks like me right now! I miss running, I miss cycling (I have been told not to exercise strenuously due to low placenta) and I miss just feeling like 'me'. I find the whole thing very life limiting and I don't understand people who love it - although I know lots of people do! I love my baby and feel connected to him but I do feel totally disconnected with my 'old self'. I can't wait to have my baby here with me and get back to being 'me' - I keep going every day by reminding myself it's just for a little while, I'll get back to where I want to be! It has been mentally tough though, so I totally empathise 😊

But having a baby is life-limiting! When the baby arrives, you will literally never be able to do what you want for many years to come without organising childcare.

Pregnancy prepares you for your life being turned upside down (in nice ways as well as tough ways).

I don't feel sexy so much as pleased with my body, if that makes sense. Without me having to do anything except eat and sleep, it has created a whole new person, which it will then squeeze out. My old hang-ups about food and body image have really abated over the past 8 months.

@BGirlBouillabaisse You sound very disheartening IMO. Do our lives really need to turn upside down just because we're taking care of a smaller human? Obviously we have to keep our babies in mind when planning anything, but that should not stop us from working on being better versions of ourselves.

Pregnancy and birth are amazing indeed. But motherhood just does not define some women. It will be part of me, not ALL of me.

@kidsareok being "on hold" is a great way to describe it. I really hope we can reconnect with ourselves as we recover

Sorry you’re feeling that way op, I’m certain hormones do play a part in feeling this way. I’ve had my Fair share of days of feeling more irritable, emotional and unhappy for no reason, and don’t really feel like myself. However.....

I’m 33 weeks pregnant now, and actually I have enjoyed the look of my pregnancy body (Can’t always say the same for how it feels with the aches that come with it). I wasn’t completely unhappy with my body before but at the same time I wasn’t at my best and was certainly holding on to some extra weight I didn’t want. It’s been refreshing the last few months not worrying I look fat, but that my body is doing something amazing.

After a horrible 1st trimester when I felt like a shell of myself, from around week 15 onwards Loads of people tell me I have the pregnancy glow, and that I have a really cute bump. Aside from the bump I think I’ve actually lost a bit of weight from my face and arms where I have been eating healthier. I wouldn’t say I feel sexy, but I would say I feel very feminine if that makes sense. I feel the most confident I have in years.

Once baby’s born I’m hoping to keep up the healthier eating and going to try and make this an opportunity to get my body back to a state I was happier with, I want to continue making this a positive experience and embrace what my body is achieving (on top of having the child I really wanted!). I don’t think you have to put yourself completely on hold but you just might have to Look and do things differently.

I wouldn’t say I feel sexy as such, I’m just amazed and so in love with my pregnant body. I just love my bump. I feel like I’m aware that my body has changed dramatically for my partner so he probably is slightly freaked out by it but I think we’re both just so in awe of my huge belly that it doesn’t matter!

I feel disgusting! My DH has not wanted to be intimate with me since 17 weeks (now 34 weeks) which has mentally played into how I feel. He tries to reassure me that it's not because I'm pregnant, he just finds it weird about his penis being so close to the baby and he still thinks I'm beautiful!
I feel fat, ugly, heavy, bloated, miserable and not pretty at all!
I was a fit and healthy size 10 (uk) before I was pregnant and loved how I looked as I worked really hard to get there but as lockdown has restricted me from exercising in classes (no motivation to do you tube video classes) I've done nothing and my fitness level has gone way down.
I'm nearly 45lb heavier then pre pregnancy and just want him out so I can get my ass back to the gym!
I know what comes next will be amazing but I just don't feel like me anymore! I hate being pregnant!
P.s: I'm having a bad day! 😭😭😭

@carlablack I’m not trying to be negative, but it’s easy to underestimate how much tiny children can dominate your life. I’m not saying motherhood has to be ALL of your life, but try to avoid putting yourself under pressure to be your old self straight away.

My first pregnancy, I felt pretty sexy (excepting when nausea and exhaustion dominated!). It felt like a really affirming part of our relationship. This time I’m HUGE (twins) and find how restricted my movement is kills any sexiness. I don’t mind too much though as I’ve got more confidence that our sex life and intimacy can recover even after a prolonged dry spell - DD had some health problems that put a real strain on us for a long time, but once sorted our relationship bounced back pretty quickly.

I love my bump and it’s the only time I’m willing to show off my stomach and not wear a baggy jumper. I don’t feel sexy but I want everyone to see my bump.

However, I hate what it will do to me afterwards. After having DD1, I have never worn a bikini again. My stomach is covered in stretch marks and I feel all wobbly. I know I won’t either after this one.

I am not at all sexy. I am like a poor upturned turtle whenever end up on my back and make the most horrific noises whenever I try to move. But I am more confident in my own skin and less bothered about other people seeing me. It’s almost like it’s not my body so I’m not afraid to show it. I was the same with my last pregnancy.
Dh, on the other hand, seems to find my ever expanding state sexy

I am 29 weeks with first baby (quite sporty size 8 pre-pregnancy), I love my pregnant belly and proud to show it off. However I don't feel sexy. All other changes such as bigger butt, thighs, and new double chin don't particularly help. Because of that, I found I am dressing a lot better and wearing make up a lot more often, even though I work from home, so I look more "polished", but definitely not sexy. All the extra skin care I am throwing at myself in attempts to prevent stretch marks really improved the condition of my skin (I know stretch marks are genetic and all that, but I still want that cream 😂), but that's about it. I wear pretty underwear, mainly because it's a habit and I threw away all my scruffy pants long time ago. So I ain't feeling it, despite loving my bump and showing it off.

I'm sorry for the TMI but I can never feel sexy with a hairy mary! 🙈🤣

I was a regular waxer pre-pregnancy but I'm too scared to now and cannot see it now, at 30 weeks! Apparently Veet can make your foof red and inflamed when pregnant aswell ...

I am pretty impressed with my body, that it is growing a human and all. But not sexy with this beast growing in my underwear.

I think I felt ok but it was a while ago. I was very keen to get a proper bump but once I did the novelty wore off fairly quickly!
People commented on my skin and hair being nice but I didnt notice a difference really.
Whatever way you feel is fine (so long as you're ok) and yes, could be hormones, they are powerful things!
Congratulations

@StephyRose yep snap same as me, I dont feel too un sexy however the fact I cant shave, and wear nice clothes is the fact I don't feel as sexy

We were doing fine up until around 25 weeks when bump was so big it made any sexy time impossible however I dont mind too much but it has taken a knock on effect.om my self esteem

@carlablack My boys are nearly 8 and 4 now so pregnancy was a loooong time ago! I have the benefit of perspective: the days are long but the years are short.

I breastfed DS2 until his 4th birthday and did every single night waking with both boys. I guess this goes some way to explaining why I saw my body in a new light, with new - different - functions.

This is my first and I'm actually feeling great and confident in myself. It helps I've not changed my gym routine much before pregnancy, I used to go 5 days a week and still do at 8.5 months pregnant (just modifying certain things like weights), and up until earlier this week I've felt completely like myself, agile and not felt heavy at all. This week my hip started hurting a lot, probably due to relaxin, so now I'm waddling about I feel less attractive!

I love my belly and it's the only thing really that's grown apart from my boobs (1 cup size), so I've been very lucky (but worked for it as I've been active). Due to not drinking I feel my skin is also clearer and I have more time to spend on my skin routine, exfoliating, face masks twice a week etc 😂

Oh my goodness yes. I've never been a body confident kinda person. I've never been the fittest and in the best shape (I didn't work our doesn't interest me but I was never exactly considered 'big').
I'm 20 weeks with twins and I have a little boy who is 18 months. Some days I feel like a fat lard. Other days I feel frumpy and very much pregnant.
Big pants are my best friend because they are comfy, I certainly don't feel 'sexy' at all. Fair play to my partner because he does everything he used to, squeezes my bum when I walk past him and will tell me I'm sexy but I just don't feel it.
Also, I was 27 when I had my first little one and I hated seeing my family because although I considered myself to be really lucky to be expecting a baby, I couldn't shake the feeling of people looking at me being pregnant and knowing I had to have sex to get pregnant. So so silly I know and my partner and I had been together 6 years before we 'tried' but dunno made me feel really weird!

I don't know if I ever "feel sexy" in the way you describe. I'm the kind of prison that happily wears the same old jeans and loose top combos and doesn't dress up much. I don't really feel conscious of my body at all, either to be happy or uncomfortable with it iyswim. DH fancies me and that's all that really matters.

Since pregnancy I've swapped out the jeans for looser trousers but otherwise not much has changed. I do find myself looking in the mirror thinking "I wonder if people can guess I'm pregnant yet" (the answer depends very much on the top), and I definitely noticed the size of my bump and boobs and think "whoa, that changed fast", but I don't associate any feelings with that except "aww baby

My goodness, that's meant to be kind of person, not kind of prison

@xxxemzyxxx such an inspiring post! :) 15 weeks was a turning point for me too, to start working out and feel a little better.

@Sls668 That belly sure looks amazing :D I cannot believe it has more growing to do!

@lockdownpregnancy I'm so sorry you feel this way :( PMed you!

@crazychemist It's not about "snapping back ASAP" really, it's about feeling good in my own skin so that I will be a better mom for my DD. I function a lot better when I feel confident and powerful.

@BeingATwatItsABingThing That's interesting, but it's quite common! Most women say they feel better about themselves when they don't feel the pressure to look certain way.

@Kreacheriscleaning It’s almost like it’s not my body so I’m not afraid to show it. I totally feel that!

@Mc3209 I admire your effort to feel better! I wish I could get myself to do more than just work out and take shower!

@StephyRose May I suggest sugar waxing? I never use the resin-based waxes down there as it's very irritating (like you said) but sugar wax doesn't pull the skin as much. Easier to clean with water if you mess up and you can even prepare it yourself! I was able to do a brazillian on myself with the help of a mirror placed under, at 24 weeks. It was fairly easy and I felt like I won the lottery afterwards
@Indigogirl88 Oops, I'm at that 25 week mark...ouch

@IdblowJonSnow thank you! I'm not too excited about my bump really, don't want to get too attached to it as it's not gonna last forever

@BGirlBouillabaisse Having 2 DC and breastfeeding at night for 4 years I can see why you feel this way. It must be a lot of work. I'm sure I couldn't cope well with more than one DC.

@SunStruck rock on mama!

@emma911030 I'm so sorry you feel this way :( Having twins sounds like double the trouble, hope you have an easy pregnancy and safe birth!

@CoalCraft That's an interesting point of view. You're not bothered with body changes at all, that must make this process way easier for you. You're lucky!