Stepmum making lies about my pregnancy

[Mp0304]

So, it's a bit of a weird one. In 2017 myself and my partner decided to have an abortion, very early on and a mutual decision as we were not ready and other factors, both our parents knew etc and we were very supported.

Fast forward three years and we are happily pregnant expecting a baby boy in 9 weeks time. We are both over the moon and very excited to start our family. Being very lucky and blessed and only taking 3 months to conceive.

I have since found out that my stepmum (she told me her self) told her friend that we had a miscarriage in 2017 and that both myself and my partner had been trying every since for a baby (massive lies!!) I asked her why and she said to make our baby sound a bit more special?!? I absolutely disgusted that she has decided to make up a lie about my family and my son and her reasoning for it and I actually find it quite disturbing. There is no need to even bring up the past let alone make up a lie.

I am unsure if my dad knows about her strange behaviour and I am quite concerned at what else has been said? I want to meet with my dad alone and talk to him about it but my partner is worried about causing family problems, what do you think? I cannot let this play on my mind anymore and I feel I have already put a guard up against her for this (amongst other comments lately also which are just personal to me).

Any advice would be great. Thank you.

What the hell? The baby is special no matter what!

Do you think she's embarrassed that you had the abortion? Not that you should be, but if that were the case she could just not mention anything about the situation 3 years ago.

I think I would just call her out on it in front of your dad. What absurd behavior!

@Greyblueeyes well no one knew about the abortion so there was absolutely no need for her to mention it let alone lying about miscarrying or struggling to conceive. She has also mentioned this is an old friend of hers who I've never met so definitely no need for her to know about the past?

I am also now completely against her being with my son and helping out as I'm disgusted by what she's said! And I won't be letting her help with child care etc as she has already put herself forward for it. I think I need to say something as I'm turning more bitter towards her.

Ok, that's just strange then. Like she wants to make your pregnancy more dramatic or something?

@Greyblueeyes I honestly don't know? Her friend is apparently due a few days before me and has had IVF with a doner sperm but I still don't see how that justifies making up lies about me and my family

That would totally freak me out too

@LightDrizzle I think it's quite worrying and very disturbing. Just so unsure to talk to my dad or leave and now keep my distance and when that's noticed mention it then?

Oh, that’s so strange. Why does she feel the need to get attention over your baby at all?!
I’d mention it to your dad, and just say you found it strange.
xx

I’d do the latter, but there’s not much in it.

I think you should message her in the first instance, as your father isn’t his wife’s keeper, but if he approaches you about it afterwards then you can have a frank chat about it.
Is this out of character or is she a Walter Mitty type generally?

Talk to her again, not to your dad. Explain how you’re feeling - hopefully it will clear the air.
You might find it really valuable to have a family member who is willing and able to help with childcare for you - it’s tough doing it without help - so if I were you I would probably try to resolve this in the first instance. Depends how your relationship is otherwise though.
People say/do strange things - perhaps she didn’t want to tell her friend the truth because of her friend’s struggles. It’s very weird but to me it doesn’t warrant cutting her off completely. Doesn’t seem like it would have any bearing over how she will behave toward your child.

This sounds exactly like the kind of shit my mum would pull. It’s usually to try make things sound more dramatic so she can get some attention for herself.

What bee222 said. She’s a grief-thief trying to be over-dramatic and get attention.

@doodlejump1980

What bee222 said. She’s a grief-thief trying to be over-dramatic and get attention.

This. Fuck me, she sounds like a nightmare.

No need for anyone else to know if you have / haven't been pregnant before, much less whether you've had a termination or miscarriage.

I would be so upset by this and would have to have a proper sit down with her, with my partner, to present a united front about how hurt and disappointed we were that she took it upon herself to say such a thing to a third party and then to say what she did about trying to make your current pregnancy more special.

Ugh she sounds awful.

Congratulations on your happy news on a lighter note!