Preparing for and getting through labour; help!

[SqidgeBum]

I am due my second baby in 11 weeks. My first labour was 52 hours, I didnt react well to dimorphine or gas and air, and didnt want an epidural so I went within any pain relief. It ended in an episiotomy and ventouse in a panic because babys heart rate dropped. I am convinced this was because both her and I were so exhausted and I was so stressed out and lacking in all control and calmness. My pulse was actually so high gor 14 hours pre birth they couldn't differentiate between babys pulse and mine. It's safe to say I have spent the last 29 weeks worried about my upcoming labour.

So, I am trying to prepare myself mentally. I am refusing to just fear it. I am trying to think of it like a marathon that I need to prepare for, as I did very little prep last time, but I dont know where to start. I have a birth ball which I am sitting on in the evenings and I know about hypnobirthing but money is a little tight so I cant really afford a proper course. I will be making my DH a list of what to do for me so he can help a little more too (more water as I was extremely dehydrated last time, a birth ball in the room, any YouTube playlists for calming).

What are your tips for preparing and getting through labour? Any techniques you used? Any playlists you recommend? Anything you did pre labour that you feel helped you mentally? TIA

I'm due my first next month and I'm pretty anxious and nervous too, especially as the only birth stories any wants to tell me are bad ones! I'm someone who once they get something in their head or start to panic it is nearly impossible to rid myself of the feeling and my brain just goes into overdrive.

I too don't want an epidural and am hoping to do it as naturally as possible. you just have to remind yourself that this is normal and natural and your body has done this before so its highly likely this birth is going to be easier and more straightforward. get in a birthing pool if you can, from what I've read it reduces your need for pain relief and chance of needing an episiotomy significantly. Your body was made to do this - the only thing that will complicate things is if you stress yourself out because it will interfere with your ability to stay calm and in control of the situation and it will make your baby stressed too. you just have to tell yourself that when the time comes you are not going to let your nerves get the best of you and you're going to stay calm and in control because this is what you want and this is what's best for you and baby.

maybe also try spending as much of the labour at home where you're in your own environment and probably feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable?

there's also lots of hypnobirthing classes on YouTube so you should check that out too.

sorry no real experience yet - I just identified with your post a lot!

best of luck x

Hiya, I can relate to this!

I am 32 weeks with my second, and found my first birth experience fairly traumatic. I was overdue, and so was induced. The pain of my contractions came thick and fast, and I was so tired in the end, that I had to have an episiotomy and ventouse, then forecps.

I am scared because I now know what to expect. I am looking into the Positive Birthing Company, think it's around £35 for a digital pack containing videos etc that is supposed to give you a better outlook of birth etc. Look it up, I haven't tried it yet but hopefully should ease my anxiety.

Good luck!

36 weeks pregnant with my first, I bought the Positive Birth Company digital pack when it was on sale for £19, I think it's around £35 usually - but they have a YouTube channel with lots of videos so you can see if it floats your boat. While it's not a complete cure-all for the anxiety about labour, it does teach you some tools on how to manage it and put a better spin on things.

With my first, that early labour before I got to hospital (and had an epidural - bliss!) was so much harder than I expected so my main concern with my second was getting through the early labour bit.

I ended up being induced but that doesn't really change anything (except having to wait two hours to get painkillers on the ward which you could get yourself in 30 seconds at home). The following helped me:

• tens machine
• birthing ball and LOUD music, bounce, sway, roll or whatever through the contractions
• golden thread breathing, basically just long slow exhaling imagining you're blowing out a thread. It helped to focus on the area just outside my lips rather than inside my body if that makes sense.

Basically anything that's going to help you keep your body relaxed through those contractions rather than tensing up.

I used yoga breathing through my birth. No pain relief as apparently the doctor wasn't around to prescribe anything.

If you can try and get to an online yoga course - mine focused on pregnancy and labour and I found it really relaxing each week to just think about the baby and learn positions that would help and do the breathing exercises

@Spam88 that's what I am looking for really, tips on how to cope through the contractions. I did some breathing technique where I tried focusing on deep breaths and holding it for 3 seconds and letting it go. It did help me not to loose myself in crazy panicked breathing. The idea of a thread sounds good.

£35 for the positive birth company isnt bad at all! I think I looked at one course and it was £180 and I just couldn't afford that. I will look into that more.

Has anyone come across good videos on youtube for hypnobirthing or even just mindfulness or music that could help? I used to meditate and do yoga and nagure sounds worked wonders for me. I would get completely lost in it. But maybe ones specific for birthing may help through that time where the contractions really start to ramp up.

I am thinking of looking into a tens machine too. I dont know if they use them on my maternity ward. I never asked last time. Maybe I could pick one up second hand. It's worth a shot.

I think you can rent tens machines

You can rent a tens from most pharmacies, although I bought mine outright from boots because it was the same price as hiring one. Would definitely recommend for that early stage (I accidentally left mine on boost, which you're just supposed to use during contractions, and had a lovely sleep 😂).

I have just seen people are selling them for about 15 quid second hand on facebook and you just need to buy the pads.

I’m 32 weeks with my first. I’m another person recommending the online course from the positive company, I’m only part way through and it’s really helped ease my anxieties. I got it for £39. You also get access to their Facebook group where loads of women post their positive birth stories, and I really love reading these. It’s so refreshing to read about positive experiences, as you hear so many bad experiences.

The lady who does the videos had a traumatic first birth but like you refused to let fear overtake her for her other two. She’s explains everything really well!

Ihypnobirth on the App Store is really good

However, I went into labour with the below mentality, and I came out feeling very positive and relaxed despite it ended in an EMCS and lasting 72 hours

If I can cope with the pain on gas and air and I'm managing well, then just have gas and air

If I'm too tired or struggling, then have an epidural and go to sleep and rest

I really don't think it needs to be turned into this complicated thing that causes worry, stress and so many thoughts.

My first birth was terrible!!! 2 days labour and my body wasn't ready and I didn't really push at all and had to accept epidural and ventouse and wtv and I hated it!!!

Secone one was a breeze!!!!! They had to break the waters (both babies at almost 42 weeks.....) but it was 4/5 hours and it felt natural! And much easier! And I was really pushing. It was painful but my head was in a completely different place :)

Due my 3rd in october.

Good luck there!!!! They always say the second is easier

Tips?

I saw a video on YouTube of a prenatal class. They described a very good massage for your partner to do on your lower back. You can practice before (it feels good! ) and guide your partner to the right position. Basically as strong as they are able!

Pushing and breathing suggestions I remember someone saying to avoid shrugging your shoulders and clenching your hands. It takes the focus of the pushing.

Let your body take control. I kind of passed out between contractions! I was totally aware but my body just wanted to shut down and not move and not be touched. The midwife was a little worried at first

Video is still there!

Fantastic! Thank you so much @grey12. Also, your personal experience is really reassuring. I know statistically the second is better than the first, but people kept saying statistically I wouldnt be in labour for 2.5 days, and they were wrong, so I am naturally suspicious of statistics haha